codependency/my only reason

[hopefully]

i know for a fact i'm codependent on my boyfriend. we've been living together for a little under a year now, but he's the only thing in my life that anchors me. he's the SOLE reason i don't self harm or overuse drugs or throw the money i have down the drain. i would be in a terrible terrible place right now if it wasn't for him. he knows this too. how do i change this. i dont want him to feel like hes responsible for my mental stability (which we both know he is right now) :(

 

[Sulyya]

It sounds like you have more self-awareness of your situation than many other people do thankfully.

I wonder if there are mindset practices that you can try to set up now that will help you get to a place where you feel that you aren't in a codependent situation. Do you know a source of the urges to do those things?

 

[hopefully]

It sounds like you have more self-awareness of your situation than many other people do thankfully.

I wonder if there are mindset practices that you can try to set up now that will help you get to a place where you feel that you aren't in a codependent situation. Do you know a source of the urges to do those things?

i have a history of mixed diagnoses within the past 2 years (mdd/pd/gad/bpd/ptsd) stemming from/exacerbated by sexual assault/past abusive relationship. self harm, drugs, and impulsive spending have been the methods that make me feel better the fastest but logically i *know* they are destructive and it hurts my partner so i dont do it for him, because if i upset him and lose him then my life would be destroyed and i would most likely ctb or just spiral very badly . if he's gone for more than 12-24 hours i become severely depressed

 

[Sulyya]

It sounds like you have endured quite a bit and nevertheless are still working on recovery, so you probably have the strength to keep improving it.

Knowing the logic behind it is good. We have very different mental cirumstances and bad habits that we fight but for me the common advice is true, that a craving for a certain bad thing or another is temporary, usually brought on by bad mood. But if you can stop yourself for an hour or two it can pass until next time. Maybe building good 'addictive' type habits is another way, like a home exercise routine (in case you don't like gyms)

 

[hopefully]

It sounds like you have endured quite a bit and nevertheless are still working on recovery, so you probably have the strength to keep improving it.

Knowing the logic behind it is good. We have very different mental cirumstances and bad habits that we fight but for me the common advice is true, that a craving for a certain bad thing or another is temporary, usually brought on by bad mood. But if you can stop yourself for an hour or two it can pass until next time. Maybe building good 'addictive' type habits is another way, like a home exercise routine (in case you don't like gyms)

thank you for discussing this with me <3 i have been thinking about getting back to working out lately, i will take this as my sign :)