Close To Attempting

[prettykitsch]

I've hit the point where I am very close to attempting.

I tried to overdose before, but I simply went to bed and fell asleep. I was told when I was checked out afterwards that what I had taken should have killed me. I tried to slit my wrists before, but I couldn't get the nerve to cut deep enough.

I only have painkillers, but I am thinking of going around pharmacies tomorrow to get as many over-the-counter sleeping tablets as I can, getting some alcohol, taking the painkillers, the sleeping tablets, the alcohol, and going in the bath. I am hopeful that if I do this, I will eventually pass out and drown.

I cannot think of any other way to end things and I cannot bear the pain of being alive and completely isolated for much longer. I have done nothing but cry for the past week.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you suffer so unbearably, existence really is too cruel, I find it so dreadful and horrible how suicide isn't straightforward even know people suffer so much in this existence. But anyway I hope that you find peace eventually.

 

[prettykitsch]

I'm sorry you suffer so unbearably, existence really is too cruel, I find it so dreadful and horrible how suicide isn't straightforward even know people suffer so much in this existence. But anyway I hope that you find peace eventually.

Thank you, but my only way to find peace will be to not be here anymore.

 

[Tesha]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Over the counter painkillers and sleeping pills (even with alcohol) are very unlikely to work, could well leave you suffering in immense agony for days / weeks and possibly with permanent damage.

I would strongly recommend you look for other methods, that are more reliable. There's a resources section here -

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Cress]

I've hit the point where I am very close to attempting.

I tried to overdose before, but I simply went to bed and fell asleep. I was told when I was checked out afterwards that what I had taken should have killed me. I tried to slit my wrists before, but I couldn't get the nerve to cut deep enough.

I only have painkillers, but I am thinking of going around pharmacies tomorrow to get as many over-the-counter sleeping tablets as I can, getting some alcohol, taking the painkillers, the sleeping tablets, the alcohol, and going in the bath. I am hopeful that if I do this, I will eventually pass out and drown.

I cannot think of any other way to end things and I cannot bear the pain of being alive and completely isolated for much longer. I have done nothing but cry for the past week.

What Tesha has said is true about pills being a very poor method for a lot of reasons. Damaging your liver Is the most likely outcome. Overdosing on over the counter medications was one of my very first attempts and I had doctors asking for years later if I was ever an alcoholic because my liver was damaged. I have never drank a drop of alcohol before.

With all that said can you tell us a little bit more about what's going on? You said someone checked you out? Does that mean you went to go get mental health services somewhere?

 

[prettykitsch]

What Tesha has said is true about pills being a very poor method for a lot of reasons. Damaging your liver Is the most likely outcome. Overdosing on over the counter medications was one of my very first attempts and I had doctors asking for years later if I was ever an alcoholic because my liver was damaged. I have never drank a drop of alcohol before.

With all that said can you tell us a little bit more about what's going on? You said someone checked you out? Does that mean you went to go get mental health services somewhere?

I was checked out the last time I attempted, in 2021. I was under the care of mental health services, but they don't really do much to help at all where I am, because their services are extremely stretched. I've tried every single anti-depressant going, therapy, counselling, I really have tried everything.

My tipping point this time has been being dumped by text message after seeing someone for six months. This was someone I had been with initially in 2022. We have known each other since I was a teenager, and I have always loved him. Right now, he reads my messages but refuses to reply, call me, or see me in person.

I have a job but I work fully remote from home. I have no friends, no family, and I have a lot of debt that I was left with by my ex-husband.

Quite simply, I don't want to live my life without the person I was with. Being with him was an absolute dream come true for me, and now he is treating me so cruelly. He has told me he doesn't feel the same way that I do, but I think he is simply running scared because he was hurt really badly by his previous relationship. Nothing I do is getting through to him.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Over the counter painkillers and sleeping pills (even with alcohol) are very unlikely to work, could well leave you suffering in immense agony for days / weeks and possibly with permanent damage.

I would strongly recommend you look for other methods, that are more reliable. There's a resources section here -

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thank you. I have looked at the resources, and I know that SN seems to be the most popular choice, but I've looked to see if I can source it where I am and it seems that I won't be able to.

 

[Cress]

I was checked out the last time I attempted, in 2021. I was under the care of mental health services, but they don't really do much to help at all where I am, because their services are extremely stretched. I've tried every single anti-depressant going, therapy, counselling, I really have tried everything.

My tipping point this time has been being dumped by text message after seeing someone for six months. This was someone I had been with initially in 2022. We have known each other since I was a teenager, and I have always loved him. Right now, he reads my messages but refuses to reply, call me, or see me in person.

I have a job but I work fully remote from home. I have no friends, no family, and I have a lot of debt that I was left with by my ex-husband.

Quite simply, I don't want to live my life without the person I was with. Being with him was an absolute dream come true for me, and now he is treating me so cruelly. He has told me he doesn't feel the same way that I do, but I think he is simply running scared because he was hurt really badly by his previous relationship. Nothing I do is getting through to him.


Thank you. I have looked at the resources, and I know that SN seems to be the most popular choice, but I've looked to see if I can source it where I am and it seems that I won't be able to.

Yeah most mental health services tend to be quite strained we also seem to be at a early point in mental health treatment where we barely know what works.

It sounds like you've been through a lot And I totally respect if you're at your limit and can't take anymore. My DM's are open if you need someone to talk to.

I truly wish you the best.