Not_Quite_Dead_Yet
Student
- Oct 27, 2018
- 134
I live in almost total isolation, due, in part at least, to my long habit of smoking cigarettes. The isolation is not by choice, rather by most people avoiding even being around me, though I never smoke when close to others, only when alone. I feel rejected, a real pariah. Nothing helps, even spraying myself with Febreze so I don't smell like an unwashed ashtray. As an introvert, I don't mind not being surrounded by people constantly, in fact, I prefer it most of the time. But it hurts to be considered so disgusting that no one wants to be around me even briefly. Blechhhh, they make me feel like a filthy addict. Okay, I'll accept the addict label but filthy? No. How do you other smokers out there handle the spoken or implied criticism that you are a deeply flawed person, not worthy of respect or interaction? Quitting is not an option for me. It is the one thing that gives me comfort in a crappy world. They'll have to pry my last ciggie out of my dead, cold hand.