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YellowNeko1908
New Member
- Oct 6, 2024
- 4
What do I do if I am mentally and emotionally and physically at my absolute limit? I'm already running on fumes for years at this point. I am this close to ramming a knife right into my throat.
I've been chronically ill for more than a decade with digestive issues. This is isn't your average illness. It's literally 24/7 discomfort. Pretty sure I'm crazy at this point. Worst part? It's probably something easily treated once you know what it is. I suspect inflammation but whatever.
Here's the deal I have decided to pay out of pocket for a colonoscopy with biopsy. It still takes time, there's no guarantee of finding anything, I'm worried because everything ends in failure and I'm eating with the intention of irritating my gut as much as possible to make sure they find SOMETHING.
I don't know how to cope. I'm completely alone in this. Therapist try to gaslight by telling me it's psychosomatic, my parents are low-class trash and the public healthcare system is retarded. I don't even want to mention everything else what's weighting on my mind because it's too horrible to acknowledge the situation in its entirety.
I hate everything, everyone. I just want this to end regardless if it's a good end or a bad end as long as it's an end.
I tried everything humanly possibly to either solve this or cope with it. I genuinely feel like killing myself tonight because I just can't anymore.
This is something I wrote recently on another site. Anyways I want to kill myself tonight. I have nothing left. Absolutely nothing. I hate everything and I am at my limit.
I need someone to talk. Whether I kill myself or not I really need someone to talk right now.