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i am so lainpilled :3 (? days left)
- Apr 15, 2023
- 264
Currently in the process of moving out finally and life is very much chaotic. I met someone cool too but despite all this, I can't help but feel melancholic. They can't seem to grasp why despite all this, I still struggle with severely low self esteem and self hatred. I mean I guess it makes sense because they're why I was even able to move out in the first place but the problem is that no matter what, I find myself unable to get over the irreversible and irreparable psychological damage dealt to me by my so-called parents. I find myself unable to look past years upon years of being an outcast and socially isolated which eventually led to me becoming increasingly cynical and pessimistic about existence and the universe. People always say I just need to be "positive" and "hopeful" but I exhausted any last remnant of hope long, long ago. Truthfully, I would like to be put to rest forever. I see myself as more of a failed science experiment, rather than as a person. I'm just no longer compatible with society as a whole and believe I deserve to die ASAP. What stops me is not wanting to make people sad because they can't seem to get that it's for the best. I kinda find it selfish that they want me to stay around anyways considering my continued forced existence is the primary cause of my suffering
