Chronic pain makes nothing worth doing

[nothinghereforme]

I don't want to learn to cope with this if it will never get better and all doctors are lazy and don't care. It's been years and nothing's changed at all. Appointments take forever and doctors simply don't care period. I am always angry and sad and upset when I feel the pain which is all the time so I can pretty much never be happy.
No one is worth knowing and nothing is interesting. I can't afford enough drugs and alcohol I'd need to be in any state beside constant mental breakdown.
How could life possibly be worth living like this? I can't do anything I want to do.
I don't want friends. Morals, God, Universal Love or whatever etc aren't real, and I don't even care about that but I don't want to be in pain all the time. A relationship wouldn't work, I can't satisfy my partner without hurting myself.
I hate the doctors that revived me and sewed me up, my family who keep trying to get me useless 'help' instead of just helping me go painlessly, and myself worst of all for not being more careful like I will next time.

I don't care about anything I can't focus on anything I don't want anything plausible but to CTB. There's no reason to care about anything or do anything for anyone.

 

[before20]

I hope you find a reprieve from pain soon, whatever that looks like.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be free from it all, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's really cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I also just wish for a painless way to be gone. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[maniac116]

Chronic pain takes away my hope

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

You might have to tell your docs you're going to CTB if you don't get relief soon. It will cost you a few days in the ward, but at least they will be more likely to take you seriously.

 

[IsolatedChaos]

I don't want to learn to cope with this if it will never get better and all doctors are lazy and don't care. It's been years and nothing's changed at all. Appointments take forever and doctors simply don't care period. I am always angry and sad and upset when I feel the pain which is all the time so I can pretty much never be happy.
No one is worth knowing and nothing is interesting. I can't afford enough drugs and alcohol I'd need to be in any state beside constant mental breakdown.
How could life possibly be worth living like this? I can't do anything I want to do.
I don't want friends. Morals, God, Universal Love or whatever etc aren't real, and I don't even care about that but I don't want to be in pain all the time. A relationship wouldn't work, I can't satisfy my partner without hurting myself.
I hate the doctors that revived me and sewed me up, my family who keep trying to get me useless 'help' instead of just helping me go painlessly, and myself worst of all for not being more careful like I will next time.

I don't care about anything I can't focus on anything I don't want anything plausible but to CTB. There's no reason to care about anything or do anything for anyone.

I feel you, I am literally writing this while in physical agony, I logged on here to vent. I am absolutely like-minded about this right now. I'm not sure what else to say, tbh. I don't want to and I will not encourage CBT for anyone else, even if I hypocritically wish so for myself. That being said, I hope you find whatever peace you may need and things will not be as bad anymore, one way or another

 

[nothinghereforme]

You might have to tell your docs you're going to CTB if you don't get relief soon. It will cost you a few days in the ward, but at least they will be more likely to take you seriously.

They won't. I've already attempted twice. It's impossible for them to care about each or really any patient. All appointments are booked months apart.
I'm supposed to go to therapy groups that I know won't help but I do not WANT to cope with this.
This physical problem I have means life can never be worth it and I will never enjoy living. I resent everyone who helped revive me.

 

[CatLvr]

I'm in the same boat. They don't prescribe enough meds to control my pain (though I know it can be done because every time I'm in the hospital my pain is well-controlled) because I "might" become an addict. Though I have NEVER given anyone any reason to believe I am misusing my meds. (And except for one attempt that failed miserably, I have never used my meds in any way other than the way in which they are prescribed.) It's like you just can't win for losing sometimes.