I feel like my ideation has been there for so long but has recently really escalated. But I feel like the thing that keeps me back is even the idea that I would upset or mess with others (I feel like its even a struggle with internal shame about it all). I haven't told my therapist about it because when I started therapy, it was just the intrusive thoughts but now they've escalated. I am not sure if it is the increased pressure, feeling like I am losing some friends, just this pandemic, or a horrific combination making it all worse. Has anyone else been feeling this?
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