I use to be a christian. I read the bible cover to cover. I read the new testament numerous times. I was a real believer, but as time went by I grew doubts. And eventually I had to let go of Christianity all together. But I couldn't become an atheist so I grew out of it by turning to univeralism instead. Univeralism is the belief that all religions have some truth. It's the belief that the Truth with a capital T is hard to discern. Because if it was easy to discern then everyone would believe it. Because everyone can't see the Truth as self evident. And because the truth isn't self evident many times then we have to cultivate truth, we have to learn how to separate the wheat from the chaff as the bible says. Science does this but also regular people. But the core things that helped me grow out of Christianity was studying NDEs near death experiences. Which is when someone dies and goes to the afterlife but then is brought back to life with modern medicine. Also studying astral projection helped a lot. Astral projection is done by people that have learned to leave their body at night and go into the afterlife. This can be done spontaneously or through techniques. Also meditation helped a lot too in understanding the spiritual. And even reincarnation helped me understand karma. You really have to learn to separate the wheat from the chaff when studying these things, which can take time but you can do it.
Here this might be a good introduction for you to rethink your spiritual ideas.
Expert Investigates 10-Year-Old's 'Reincarnation' Claims
https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/boy-says-he-remembers-past-life-hollywood-agent-n327506
Check out the book Proof of Heaven | Book by Eben Alexander
Also the book by Howard Storm My decent into death
Do I think I am going to heaven? Well I am very confident based off of my complex understanding of NDEs and astral projection that I won't be going to hell that is for sure, but I might have to reincarnate. And I will probably end up working my way up the dimensions in the afterlife.
I understand a lot about hell too. And it's not what you think it is. If you want I can show you people that understand hell and have been there through astral projection. Astral projectors seem to know more about hell than even people that have near death experiences. Because with near death experiences they only visit the afterlife maybe once. But people that astral project have been to the afterlife quite a lot.
One very important thing to remember is that there is no central authority when it comes to the afterlife which is why we get very diverse groups of thinking about the afterlife. And all of them have at least some truth to them. Essentially we create our own reality here and especially in the afterlife. If you have any questions please let me know.
Good luck.