Help Choosing my own end and needing support

[Horrors Lazuli]

My life has once again taken a turn for the worse: my living situation became worse overnight last Sunday and I'm living with my father now who wants to leave the state or country as soon as he or his girlfriend get a job offer outside California. I'm 26 years old and due to a physical disability, cerebral palsy, and a mood disorder, bipolar disorder, I had been living with my paternal grandparents who kicked me out after a terrible family fight on Father's Day.

Opportunities and chances to find stability for my unique set of circumstances are fading quickly. I haven't been able to finish my degree in college yet —have been at it for eight years— and I was planning to take a leave of absence to regroup and give it one more try. Now the possibility of regrouping is gone. Today I allowed myself to decide to end myself not only due what I discussed above, but for a variety of reasons and impediments. I am trying to find and accomplish the following:

• I will allow myself to enjoy the remaining months of housing I have left.
• I will likely travel to see places I need to see before I CTB.
• I need to talk to someone here who can be kind enough to walk me through securing a method. Yes, I am reading the wealth of information found on this forum as well. I just need another human who won't try to have me forcefully hospitalized.

I wanted to say this out loud somewhere. I'm quite tired and didn't plan this post before writing. I just needed to say it.

Are there any words of wisdom you guys can give me? I'll check back in the morning.

 

[FuneralCry]

There is nothing much that I can really say, apart from that I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens. I'm sorry that life has brought you to this point and I know that it is hard to carry on when everything feels so hopeless.

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

There is nothing much that I can really say, apart from that I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens. I'm sorry that life has brought you to this point and I know that it is hard to carry on when everything feels so hopeless.

I appreciate your words, thank you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think, and whole-heartedly believe, that only you, and you alone, get to decide, and should be the only one who gets to decide, the course of action that is right for you in your life. It has to be that way. No other way makes any sense to me. You have to decide what is right for you. There is a wealth of information on SS to help you decide whether ctb is even the course you want to follow, as well as information on methods, should you decide that for yourself.

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

Almost an entire year later, I'm still alive, except that things are considerably worse.

 

[day]

Almost an entire year later, I'm still alive, except that things are considerably worse.

Sorry to hear you're still suffering friend.. don't know if you still plan to CTB but hopefully you are free from pain in the future. Best of wishes heading your way.

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

Sorry to hear you're still suffering friend.. don't know if you still plan to CTB but hopefully you are free from pain in the future. Best of wishes heading your way.

I do. I'm writing my note. I'm running out of money because I got tired of working.

 

[day]

I do. I'm writing my note. I'm running out of money because I got tired of working.

Sorry OP I hope you find happiness..

 

[wagner2029]

I intend to use the helium method, my biggest fear is not being able to die and having sequelae, the helium inhalation method seemed to me the safest and most painless, people die accidentally with helium, whoever finds the body will not be in danger.
If everything goes well tomorrow I'll buy the rest of the material, the book

Amazon.com.br eBooks Kindle: Una muerte autodeterminada - Manuales para un suicidio racional con helio (Spanish Edition), Düber, Jessica

Compre o eBook Una muerte autodeterminada - Manuales para un suicidio racional con helio (Spanish Edition), de Düber, Jessica, na loja eBooks Kindle. Encontre ofertas, os livros mais vendidos e dicas de leitura na Amazon Brasil

www.amazon.com.br

it helped me a lot, it's in spanish, but it's easy to translate by installing microsoft powertools using the shortcut windows shift t if you're using windows 10.