Childhood trauma and Asperger's

[6ftunder]

Moderators: Apologies if I've posted this in the wrong section.

My mother and father split up when I was 3 years old.
My mother is a literal narcissist and my father is a literal sociopath. Frankly, they were good for each other.

My mum thrives off of drama and could start a fight in an empty room, while my dad only values people in so far as he can use them or take advantage of them for his own purposes.

When I was younger, every Christmas, New Year's, Easter and Birthdays would be ruined by my mum spoiling the day.
It became an ongoing joke between me and my younger sister. We would 'bet' which part of the day mum would create an argument whenever a special occasion was upon us.

As an example of my dad's behaviour...for my 12th Birthday people didn't know what to buy me and so they just gave me money. I got 120 in total. When I told dad that I got 120, he did his best to convince me to give it to him so that he could buy something for himself. "It won't be mine, it will be yours", he told me. As a 12 year old, I didn't know better. Blatant manipulation to get his son's Birthday money for himself.

When I was 17, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a high functioning form of autism).
The symptoms I had at that age have all but disappeared, and I can't help but wonder if the 'symptoms' were actually caused by childhood trauma rather than actual Asperger's.
I grew up in a deeply unstable environment and was subject to what would likely be considered emotional abuse these days, from both mum and dad. I believe this effected my view of what constitutes 'normal' relationships and social skills.

Is this possible?
If so, what do I do about it (if anything)?

I guess I'm just reaching out to invite you to help me understand myself.

 

[Angi]

I have a friend with an Asperger's diagnosis who is convinced the diagnosis is wrong and actually explained better by a traumatic childhood. Personally, I do not see how it would matter. What can a diagnosis do for you? (Or against you, as long as you do not share it with other people.)

Have you tried treatment for Asperger's? Has it helped? I guess you can view it through both lenses, see what might improve you situation and stick with approaches when they actually help. There is "social skills training" for people with Asperger's, which I guess should work just as well if you problems actually stem from missing opprtunities to practice as a kid. You would practice now, either way. I cannot talk about how respectful or pleasant those trainings are, but you could maybe sit through them like a yoke to bear to give you an easier life later.

I hope you find a way to deal with whatever problems your upbringing has left you with!

 

[6ftunder]

I have a friend with an Asperger's diagnosis who is convinced the diagnosis is wrong and actually explained better by a traumatic childhood. Personally, I do not see how it would matter. What can a diagnosis do for you? (Or against you, as long as you do not share it with other people.)

Have you tried treatment for Asperger's? Has it helped? I guess you can view it through both lenses, see what might improve you situation and stick with approaches when they actually help. There is "social skills training" for people with Asperger's, which I guess should work just as well if you problems actually stem from missing opprtunities to practice as a kid. You would practice now, either way. I cannot talk about how respectful or pleasant those trainings are, but you could maybe sit through them like a yoke to bear to give you an easier life later.

I hope you find a way to deal with whatever problems your upbringing has left you with!

Thanks so much.

On of the reasons why I think the diagnosis may be incorrect is because as I've grown up and having removed my close family from my life, the issues that I had as a child that were interpreted as being symptoms of Asperger's have all but vanished. This is despite not going to 'social skills classes' or being in receipt of any form of treatment for ASD.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

The diagnosis is supposed to be a brain disorder that's due to genetics and very early environment (pre-natal stuff, birth complications, etc). Meaning, any psychological childhood trauma would not change if someone has lvl 1 autism/Asperger's or not.

That's on paper. In actuality, there are no brain scans involved in a diagnosis and whether you get diagnosed or not can depend on a bunch of unrelated factors. Such as masking during the test, having trained yourself to have good eye contact (despite not seeing a need for it/finding it distracting), your life going well despite the autism, how much of the autism your guardians picked up during your childhood, what they can remember about you accurately, if you happen to have friends and employment, if you have a special interest, and so on.

There are also other conditions that can share many forms of expression with autism. I've heard that narcissism, social anxiety and PTSD can all be misdiagnosed as autism and vice versa. We can think about just one aspect to make the point, eye contact. If you have PTSD, you might be uncomfortable with eye contact due to some trauma, don't have to explain anxiety; and if you're a narc you might feel people are completely beneath your notice and you won't even look at them or whatever.

So, if you actually have "brain-autism" (rather than "paper-autism"), then you could still have gotten rid of all your childhood problems. The external situation can change, and the autism itself should remain relatively unaffected, like your height or hair color. The brain is plastic, tho, so there might be some room to change things around, I guess. If it's a misdiagnosis, then it would also make sense for the situation to change after the psychological problems had subsided. So both can work, guess it's your call about how likely it is that they got the diagnosis wrong/if you want to get a second opinion now/if it matters/etc.

I just barely got the diagnosis and am convinced I wouldn't have gotten it if I had better luck psychologically growing up. But, I also think I would have gotten the diagnosis if they had run brain scans instead of doing some Reddit-style AMA; assuming/suspecting the autism explanation from the get-go.

 

[Dead Ghost]

I am also a denier of my Asperger's, but there is a key difference with you, I was diagnosed at the age of 40 without having most of the symptoms I had as a child (and I read that they would facilitate the diagnosis of Asperger's ) .Perhaps the symptoms during the different stages of life differ from each other even though there is a common core that is maintained over the years, but I do not explain how specialists are so clear about me.

On the other hand, within my denialism I have also come to think that maybe it was all due to personal problems during my childhood, but apparently it is a fairly recurring argument between us - and in fact comes out in the comments of this thread of answers-.
I have recently begun to assimilate that I have Asperger's, but at the same time I think there should be some objective clinical evidence that leaves no room for doubt.

I continue, however, with a lack of social skills - I have always been afraid to relate to people in a certain degree of commitment -, dizzy and headaches when I spend more than five minutes in full sun , not enduring heating or air conditioning, wearing loose clothing and shoes a larger number than it touches, always eating the same, not being able to play more than three quarters of an hour in action games but I want to spend the rest of the day constantly watching the superimposed images wherever I look - and especially when I close my eyes - and, hahaha, once I happened to see Japanese kanjis because I wanted to translate a DragonBall manga with the dictionary based on brute force.
But I don't have any of the positive skills that are expected of an Asperger's, so sometimes I think they were wrong and I have a similar illness that is confused with this one.

I just wish you luck in your path, these things not only benefit you, but everyone.

Spoiler: Text original

Jo també sóc un negacionista del meu Asperger, però hi ha una diferència clau respecte amb tu, me'l van diagnosticar als 40 anys sense tenir la majoría dels símptomes que tenía de petit (i que he llegit que facilitarien el diagnosi de l'Asperger). Potser els símptomes durant les diferents etapes de la vida difereixen entre ells encara que hi hagi un nucli comú que es manté amb els anys, sinó no m'explico com ho tenen tan clar els especialistes respecte a mi.

D'altre banda, dins del meu negacionisme també he arribat a pensar que potser tot era degut a problemes personals durant la meva infantesa, però pel que es veu és un argument força recorrent entre nosaltres -i de fet surt en els comentaris d'aquest fil de respostes-.
Fa poc temps que començo a assimilar que tinc Asperger, però alhora penso que hi hauria d'haver alguna prova clínica objectiva que no deixes cap mena de dubtes.

Continuo, això si, amb manca d'habilitats socials -sempre m'ha fet por relacionar-me amb la gent en cert grau de compromís-, marejant-me i agafant-me mal de cap quan passo més de cinc minuts a ple sol, no suportant la calefacció o l'aire condicionat, portant roba ampla i sabates un número més gran del que toca, menjant sempre el mateix, no poder jugar més de tres quarts d'hora a jocs d'acció sinó vull passar-me la resta del día veient contínuament les imatges superposades allà on miro -i sobretot quan tanco els ulls- i, jajaja, una vegada em vaig passar veient kanjis japonesos per culpa de voler traduïr un manga de DragonBall amb el diccionari a base de força bruta.
Però no tinc cap de les aptituds positives que s'esperen d'un Asperger, per això de vegades penso que s'han equivocat i tinc una malaltia similar que es confón amb aquesta.

Només et desitjo que tinguis sort en el teu camí, aquestes coses no només et beneficien a tú, sinó a tothom.