Checklist of practical things to do before CTB

[tartvinegar]

I'm trying to make things as easy as possible for family after I ctb (probably in a hotel). I want to try to get rid of as many things as possible in the apt, so other people don't have to do it.

Here's a list I made of things I should do before I ctb. Am I forgetting anything or should I add anything?

• Sign DNR, hang do not disturb sign
• Leave tip for whoever finds body
• Delete social media accounts and mass delete emails (idk if people can access after your death)
• Donate clothes to goodwill
• Get rid of as much of my stuff as possible without arousing suspicion
• Write details to bank account in a note in drawer
• Clear as much stuff out as I can without drawing suspicion
• Donate books somewhere
• Plants give away (but how without avoiding suspicion?)
• Do nice things for family (check)
• Get/do something nice for partner before I ctb
• Mail upbeat happy letters saying I love people the day I ctb with no unpleasant references or anything about CTB so they have something to remember me by.
• Send apology letters.
• Is it worth wearing make up when I ctb? So I look less horrible? Will I look horrible?
• Debating suicide note, ctb because I got fired and I would like to say that. But maybe it's better to let go.

 

[Richard Langford]

Won't relatives do the majority of the practical stuff in the event of?

 

[tartvinegar]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

 

[Peace2peace]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

U can't donate organ with sn

 

[Richard Langford]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

I think its going to be pretty traumatic whatever.

 

[tartvinegar]

You also wanna ctb because you got fired? Me too actually

My last day is Feb 28 or sooner according to my boss who told me that the company I have worked at for 8 year and everyone there would be better off without me and there's no path forward for me.

I've devoted my whole life to job. And they only gave me 2 weeks severance, I literally asked them how I was going to pay rent, and they said not my problem. There was so much venom and vitriol.

She knows my mother is dying and I've been in a bad place and she still fired me. Who does that? I'm too ashamed to tell my mom I'm being fired on her last days and too scared to talk to my mom because I don't want to tell her and I hate that.

After 8 years, most of it I was severely underpaid and overworked, they could give a shit if I was homeless on the streets.

I want to have a peaceful dignified exit while i can, while I still have my own money—I don't want the humiliation of having to borrow money from people, especially not my mom—and it hasn't been too long after I got fired, so at least people will still remember me as a successful respected professional, not someone who was fired and a failure.

 

[Caleb82]

My last day is Feb 28 or sooner according to my boss who told me that the company I have worked at for 8 year and everyone there would be better off without me and there's no path forward for me.

I've devoted my whole life to job. And they only gave me 2 weeks severance, I literally asked them how I was going to pay rent, and they said not my problem. There was so much venom and vitriol.

She knows my mother is dying and I've been in a bad place and she still fired me. Who does that? I'm too ashamed to tell my mom I'm being fired on her last days and too scared to talk to my mom because I don't want to tell her and I hate that.

After 8 years, most of it I was severely underpaid and overworked, they could give a shit if I was homeless on the streets.

I want to have a peaceful dignified exit while i can, while I still have my own money—I don't want the humiliation of having to borrow money from people, especially not my mom—and it hasn't been too long after I got fired, so at least people will still remember me as a successful respected professional, not someone who was fired and a failure.

I am far too insignificant to give any opinion or advice. I am a 42 yo failed father who can't even provide for his family. I know I would serve everyone better by exiting. The only reason I am waiting is for is my mother. I can't wait to CTB but it would destroy her in her last days. So, I will wait.
I have a feeling that you love your mom. If she is on her last days, then I hope you can hold on and wait a bit.
I am very sorry for the unsolicited advice. I hope I have not crossed a boundary. I am mostly hollow and should be ignored.

 

[tartvinegar]

I appreciate the advice and that we're in the same situation.

It's amazing strength for you to hold on for your mom. I know how much pain I'm causing, but I just can't take it anymore. And I want to die before my mom does, so I don't feel the pain. It's so unbearable.

And you're not insignificant, you're so loved.

 

[GettingGone]

I'm trying to make things as easy as possible for family after I ctb (probably in a hotel). I want to try to get rid of as many things as possible in the apt, so other people don't have to do it.

Here's a list I made of things I should do before I ctb. Am I forgetting anything or should I add anything?

• Sign DNR, hang do not disturb sign
• Leave tip for whoever finds body
• Delete social media accounts and mass delete emails (idk if people can access after your death)
• Donate clothes to goodwill
• Get rid of as much of my stuff as possible without arousing suspicion
• Write details to bank account in a note in drawer
• Clear as much stuff out as I can without drawing suspicion
• Donate books somewhere
• Plants give away (but how without avoiding suspicion?)
• Do nice things for family (check)
• Get/do something nice for partner before I ctb
• Mail upbeat happy letters saying I love people the day I ctb with no unpleasant references or anything about CTB so they have something to remember me by.
• Send apology letters.
• Is it worth wearing make up when I ctb? So I look less horrible? Will I look horrible?
• Debating suicide note, ctb because I got fired and I would like to say that. But maybe it's better to let go.

I had a post similar to this about what I called "considerate suicides." Maybe labeling boxes of items if any are left? "Trash", "For my Mom", "Memories", etc. Just so there's a clear next step. I'd say passwords to other things if needed. Like computer after you wiped it, phone, etc. I don't wear make up, so I wouldn't. But I understand the draw. I'd watch the mascara though, if you're crying it could smear and just be another thing. For your plants, idk how big or whatever. You could donate them to a school or church? Not sure if this helps at all. But I resonate with your thought process of making it easier for those left behind. I'm sorry for this hopeless state you're in, I'm there too. <3

 

[J&L383]

I'm trying to save them the effort of doing that, I want to minimize the trauma, and have everything done before hand
I wish there was a one way in which I could die that would allow me to donate my organs and save lives but I guess with poison in my body that isn't going to happen and I also don't want to be brain dead and a vegetable.

I agree also it would be nice to donate organs. Almost the only way you could do that is if it was a car accident, but that would be very difficult to orchestrate.

I wouldn't be too concerned about makeup. Depending on the method you won't look very good, regardless.

One thing have you considered prearranging cremation costs? Or if you do want to be buried, that's an expense that your family will need to take care of.

It's a good list, and it's good that you're thinking through all these things.

 

[JesiBel]

I would add:

1) Leave a note if you want a funeral, to be cremated or buried in a specific place.

2) Cancel subscriptions (for services or places or tangible or digital products. Many times not cancelling these subscriptions creates a debt that the family will later have to pay. For example, here if you do not cancel your student pass at the institute, the fees continue to be generated to pay... even if you no longer attend.)

 

[tartvinegar]

That's a really good point and I hadn't thought of that.

 

[areyousafe??]

You also wanna ctb because you got fired? Me too actually

Me three. Well it's one of the many reasons.

I would add to the list to get a last will and testament formally drafted by a solicitor.

I wish I knew how to mass delete emails, I have an email account since approximately 2000, and I've given up deleting what is in there because it was too time consuming.

 

[zardofan]

Thanks for this list. I'm sorry you're in the place to do it. I am too, and my list is similar but I really like your "happy" letters to people. Another thought is to cancel credit cards if you have any. I'm going to use cash only pretty soon, and pay the bills and cancel them. If they will need to probate stuff, you can do a simple will. I'm uncertain about my phone passcode. Sometimes I want them to access my photos but I also don't want to go thru them deleting stuff I don't want them to have. And of course I have thousands. Also if you had any kind of retirement savings from the job, make sure your beneficiaries are set up. Good luck, I hope things get better but if they don't, I hope you have an easy crossing.

 

[tartvinegar]

This is all very helpful thank you

 

[yearofluigi]

I really admire the effort to ease the pain on your loved ones post-ctb. Also, not to sound too pro-lifey, but it may still be possible to land on your feet and find a new job. Maybe commit to a few months of looking for a job before making any serious suicide preparations? You might end up with a better job than before, and if it doesn't work you can go back to your original plans. I understand that a job search is a really tall order though; the situation you described sounds devastating and I understand wanting to just end it now. Either way I wish you the best.

 

[tartvinegar]

Thank you, that's very kind and supportive of you.

I'm in a lot of pain, I can't bear to live and can't see a future for myself.

 

[yearofluigi]

That's alright. I'm sorry life has gotten so hard