Venting chat i am so fucking tired

[somethingYetFlowers]

Nothing works man I'm shrimply screwed. Therapists terminate me and say they can't help. I spend all my time inside numbing myself with technology. Couldn't hold down a job I just couldn't bring myself to keep doing what felt like dragging myself through barbed wire for no real reward. Nothing money could buy would make me happy. I've asked for help so many times but no matter what people say nothing changes inside me. Nobody is gonna save me and if it's up to me then I'm fucked. There is just no place for me here. Every time I work up the courage or more accurately the desperation to actually try something positive I just can't stick with it and inevitably give up. I just don't know what to do with myself. Million more things I could say but I don't even have the energy for that right now. I'm just so tired of being this person man

 

[NutOrat]

Hey, welcome to the forum! Now, I won't presume to know what you've been through, or tell you that it will get better, because no-one knows that, and there are plenty of people for whom life just didn't. But, I myself know that I had (and still often have) similar thoughts, but looking more objectively at it I can tell that there is a way out, even if I may never reach it. I will try because, well, I gave my parents the word that I will at least try for a year, and I really hope that you can give yourself if not a word (because that can put on more pressure and just not help), but at least permission to try. It feels fucking impossible, I know, but I pray it's not

 

[shcizoseraphima]

Im really sorry, all I can say is that I can relate to you, I'm very exhausted as well being this useless person... but remember you got a real community on here, and you're not alone in your struggles <3

 

[somethingYetFlowers]

Hey, welcome to the forum! Now, I won't presume to know what you've been through, or tell you that it will get better, because no-one knows that, and there are plenty of people for whom life just didn't. But, I myself know that I had (and still often have) similar thoughts, but looking more objectively at it I can tell that there is a way out, even if I may never reach it. I will try because, well, I gave my parents the word that I will at least try for a year, and I really hope that you can give yourself if not a word (because that can put on more pressure and just not help), but at least permission to try. It feels fucking impossible, I know, but I pray it's not

I crashed out and asked family for help but idk it's like no one gets it. mfers talk about like small steps let's go for a walk shit I've tried all that breathing technique chakra alignment gut microbiome Tai chi bullshit at the end a the day im just a chud and life is a nightmareee. I'm glad you are trying though :) I will at least exist because I don't have the guts to lock in on a no breathing challenge but I really really can't see the light ngl

Im really sorry, all I can say is that I can relate to you, I'm very exhausted as well being this useless person... but remember you got a real community on here, and you're not alone in your struggles <3

it gets mad tiring waking up as this worthless pos everyday man shit just doesn't change I just can't change even knowing in my heart I need to do literally anything other than what the fuck I been doing but the body doesn't listen I just watch it make the same fucking mistakes day in day out like I'm Dr disrespect. I hope we figure smth out tho :3

 

[NutOrat]

I crashed out and asked family for help but idk it's like no one gets it. mfers talk about like small steps let's go for a walk shit I've tried all that breathing technique chakra alignment gut microbiome Tai chi bullshit at the end a the day im just a chud and life is a nightmareee. I'm glad you are trying though :) I will at least exist because I don't have the guts to lock in on a no breathing challenge but I really really can't see the light ngl

it gets mad tiring waking up as this worthless pos everyday man shit just doesn't change I just can't change even knowing in my heart I need to do literally anything other than what the fuck I been doing but the body doesn't listen I just watch it make the same fucking mistakes day in day out like I'm Dr disrespect. I hope we figure smth out tho :3

I'm sorry about your family not taking it as seriously as they should. I can't talk on any of those techniques or alternative medicine options, and you mentioned bad therapy experience, but still I recommend you keep trying other therapists. Go to a psychiatrist maybe, ask them to see if there's something to diagnose. I don't push for meds, because honestly I don't know how much they're helping me rn and there's a lot of risk + budget reasons not to take them, but it's good to consider options.

Also, I think one of the things for me that surprisingly helps is: try calling yourself bad things less often (I still do, especially during my crash-outs). Things like chud, NEET, loser, pos, etc. You'd be surprised how much of a mental toll these words have on you, because repeating them over and over associates yourself with them in your head, and so you adjust to that, I guess. I hope there's light for you yet, even if you can't see it!

 

[InevitableDeath]

Also, I think one of the things for me that surprisingly helps is: try calling yourself bad things less often (I still do, especially during my crash-outs). Things like chud, NEET, loser, pos, etc. You'd be surprised how much of a mental toll these words have on you, because repeating them over and over associates yourself with them in your head, and so you adjust to that, I guess. I hope there's light for you yet, even if you can't see it!

YES. Don't do yourself down.

So many times you read this and realise its not the person talking, its the other people who are the scum, or the situation is impossible. Don't help it along. Have some self respect.