I'm 45. When I was 4, my dad went to prison. My mum caught me with the end of his shotgun in my mouth. I couldn't reach the trigger. I told her I wanted to die. From that young age, suicide thoughts have been part of my life.
In my early 20's I had a friend that committed suicide by laying in front of a train. I thought that was selfish, stupid, and that nothing couldn't have been sorted by talking things through.
Fast forward a few years, and having experienced other types of death I became a samaritan (UK suicide helpline). The training helped me understand suicide is an individual's right to choose. A big shift in thinking, kind of!
I remember my first shift, an overnighter. Guy in a car, 2 kids with him, preparing to drive off a bridge. I did wrong, I asked him not to do it, the line went dead. Never knew what happened to them. He taught me a lot though.
After a childhood friend was murdered by her father, the murder trial and my subsequent breakdown, I eventually found myself going back to study. 4 years layer, I had an honours degree in counselling. Ironic, I know!
These days my views are very different. Ending this physical reality is an individual's right. Society is so bloody caught up with prolonging life by any means... but for whose benefit? Why? There needs to be real honesty around freely talking about suicide without the threat of being slammed in a psch ward, belittled, humiliated etc.
For the last 3 years, and for as long as is needed, I am carer for my mum. She has a degenerative disease that strips away a little more of her every day. Palliative care = medication to subdue the outward appearance of death. Medication to subdue coughing, lungs will fill with fluid and we all know what happens then. Medication to subdue 'psychotic episodes'. Medication 'stop pain' etc etc. But no right to end it all peacefully and swiftly, if that was her choice. It's sick.
Yes, I have extreme anxiety. Yes, I'm on so called antidepressants, but I honestly think I see things more clearly, for what they are, than most! What are your thoughts on suicide? Have they changed over time? Just interested to know.
In my early 20's I had a friend that committed suicide by laying in front of a train. I thought that was selfish, stupid, and that nothing couldn't have been sorted by talking things through.
Fast forward a few years, and having experienced other types of death I became a samaritan (UK suicide helpline). The training helped me understand suicide is an individual's right to choose. A big shift in thinking, kind of!
I remember my first shift, an overnighter. Guy in a car, 2 kids with him, preparing to drive off a bridge. I did wrong, I asked him not to do it, the line went dead. Never knew what happened to them. He taught me a lot though.
After a childhood friend was murdered by her father, the murder trial and my subsequent breakdown, I eventually found myself going back to study. 4 years layer, I had an honours degree in counselling. Ironic, I know!
These days my views are very different. Ending this physical reality is an individual's right. Society is so bloody caught up with prolonging life by any means... but for whose benefit? Why? There needs to be real honesty around freely talking about suicide without the threat of being slammed in a psch ward, belittled, humiliated etc.
For the last 3 years, and for as long as is needed, I am carer for my mum. She has a degenerative disease that strips away a little more of her every day. Palliative care = medication to subdue the outward appearance of death. Medication to subdue coughing, lungs will fill with fluid and we all know what happens then. Medication to subdue 'psychotic episodes'. Medication 'stop pain' etc etc. But no right to end it all peacefully and swiftly, if that was her choice. It's sick.
Yes, I have extreme anxiety. Yes, I'm on so called antidepressants, but I honestly think I see things more clearly, for what they are, than most! What are your thoughts on suicide? Have they changed over time? Just interested to know.
