Venting Chained.

[Giraffe]

I don't like this world. I don't hate it enough to leave, no actually, I do wish I could leave. Think about it and ask yourself that question: if you could snap your fingers and just fall peacefully asleep, never to wake again. Would you take that deal? Are you sure? Me? I really wish I could. But I'm chained. Chained. Chained to the last name.

My honor won't let me leave, my pride won't let me leave, my name won't let me leave. I refuse to be the coward who runs from their problems. I refuse to be weak and watch others become strong. And that's both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it's awesome. It propels me forward in life to a degree where I know that even if I don't try at all, I'll still be fine. On the other hand, fucking hell just LET ME GO! Fucking pride and honor both keep me from taking the easy way out. Even if I could, I'm still chained by the last name.

I should clarify: My ancestors fought tooth and nail to stay alive when dying was easy. Now it's the opposite, where life is the norm and death is something almost absent from daily life, like an abstract dream. My great-great grandfather got up out of bed, put his clothes on and toiled and fought the world for the things he wanted. My great grandfather followed in his footsteps and also put in his clothes and fought the world for what he wanted. My grandfather and my father both fought the world for what they wanted, and now I'm going to throw all their suffering and hard work to create my existence all because I, "can't handle it?"

Fuck this world. I was born into a game I can't quit, where because of my last name I must win and can't lose. The world offends me, so you know what? Fuck you world, you evil bastard, I'm going to become rich as fuck, jacked as fuck, and WIN. I WILL BE A FUCKING WINNER JUST TO SPITE YOU. So do your worst, i'm coming for you.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Maybe if you want to not complete ctb you can go to the recovery section as there will be others who can support you not completing ctb. I wish you all the best with any decision that you end up taking.

 

[Dainhla]

I wish you the best, but I just want to remind you that you don't have to follow what your ancestors did. You're different, as well as your reality; our world is completely different to what before existed, and what in that time couldn't seem like problems, now they've become arduous things to deal with. And you don't have to blame yourself for not being as "strong" as your ancestors. People change, things change and there's nothing we can do with it. Just don't overthink that. Best wishes!!

 

[clicmsf]

This is interesting because for me, I also would like to become better save my name, but in reality I can't. I was born with disadvantages both physically and mentally. That's the reason I wanna go, because I'd rather die than to live unfairly

 

[Riu]

For me, I personally, as of right now, want to experience and learn about this world. Even if it is unfair and disgusting, I know there are beautiful things out there somewhere. I don't know what will happen to me and if I will feel the same in the future, but I think I would like to experience life. I want to cry, laugh, and be emotional. I think I don't really care about being happy anymore, I just want to find answers to my questions and find reasons for everything that happens with the time I have. I think I want to meet new people and experience more things, I think that's what I want to do, I think it will be very hard, but I think I am willing to try.

Since I was born fortunate enough to be in an average circumstance money wise, and I have the ability to, I think I want to make the most of my life with what I have.

 

[FuneralCry]

Choosing to exit this world could never be cowardly, it's a decision in which people have every right to make and nobody's obligated to continue this futile struggle which only leads to us ceasing to exist anyway.

But you sound so determined to continue existing and I wish you the best with that, I also feel trapped here but in my case it's because of the fact that suicide really is so unnecessarily difficult in this world, there are so many risks and complications involved in trying to die.