KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
Well, things are getting worse for me just as predicted. I may only have a short time left. I've got the necessary materials (though not enough for a hotel room unfortunately...this is going to be a real problem if I can't hang on long enough to).

I want to do this while I still have some semblance of control, before I end up homeless again or on some kind of psych hold with no money and no insurance, as I am. But it feels like the end is coming, and faster than I'd hoped. Big, big thank you to everyone who's helped, especially @Soul for her amazing support and generosity. I'll keep going as long as I can, but it seems the end is coming...

I was always one to plan ahead very far, and that tendency looks like it'll pay off soon. I'm ready to go, though have to make a good-faith effort with one more possible job opportunity first. I promised to try everything and do my best as far as possible before finally ending it. Sad, but I don't find myself all that upset honestly.
 
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stillwoozy

stillwoozy

Member
May 28, 2019
48
I'm wishing you luck with the possibility of finding a job! I think it is smart to exhaust your options and have ctb as a last resort once you've tried everything.

I hope you're able to find peace <3
 
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KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
I was offered a job with a hospital by the head of the department I applied for and her boss as well. Was told I had it, they just need to get the paperwork in. Late yesterday evening I find rejection emails in my inbox. So that's out. I've left a short, calm, polite message asking what happened, but I've just been screwed. Again.

The other one, which should start tomorrow, is in a local pharmacy, but hell, for all I know they'll get cold feet too. And it requires a bus pass, and I'm so fucking short of money. If something goes wrong with this one, that's it, I'm hopping on that bus right afterwards, because all that would be left is a horrible conga line of homelessness and suffering and abuse.

I've had enough, seen enough, learned enough, and suffered enough. Am just so incredibly grateful for the people who helped me thus far. Really, really hoping i don't need to CTB soon because my mother's birthday is in a few days and I don't want my death associated with it for her.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,803
I'm sorry to hear about your situation and also the hospital job rejection. In the job market, it sucks and even worse that employers have the power to be picky, they have the leverage, where the employee and job seeker are the mercy of them. Anyways, I'm hoping the local pharmacy job will work out for you.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I'm sorry your preferred job went south, dear KoE. I shall light some incense for the other one to work out well. (((Hugs)))
 
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GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
I wish you safe travels. And it's been nice talking to you. Your one of the more open minded people on this forum.
 
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KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
I don't know when this will happen, as there is still one job I was offered, it's just going to be a lot harder to get to and I'm short money...
 
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