Venting Cards are stacked against me

[SHThrowAway213]

I don't want to die, but it seems like it's my only option.
A few months ago, I tried getting help with my mental health, PTSD and BPD.
A mental health nurse assessed me and said I wasn't ready for therapy as I wasn't in the right mindset for it.
But my mental health is declining very rapidly.
The mental health nurse is not being helpful. She is suggesting stuff like going on a day course and distracting myself, but I've already tried it, all of it, and nothing is working.
She also says things like suicide is selfish and made me watch a TED Talk on it.
It's not helping, I should of been referred for therapy. The psychologist was very surprised she didn't refer me to therapy.
I can't go private as we can't afford it.
They know I have a plans and the means but they aren't doing anything about it.
My husband thinks I should be sectioned.
I keep doing stupid shit.
I keep making him frustrated and sick with worry. I don't mean to, but I know it's the situation he is frustrated at and not me.
I really honestly do not want to die, but at this point, it is my only option out of this mess.
I need therapy, but I've been denied it.
I'm so stuck and don't know what to do.
I don't want to die, but I need to die.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

relate to the first and last sentences so much, damn... it really is the worst. :/

 

[TheEndof]

I understand you. I want to live but not like this.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

The cards are stacked against you so you will take any deal on the table, even if its a bad one. Unfortunately, the house always wins.

I need therapy, but I've been denied it.

You have to keep playing the game if you want to live, there is no other way. You have to be cleverer than the dealer and figure out a way to play a system that is set against you. Keep on at them until you get an appointment. Ask for a second opinion. I don't know where you are but here in the UK there is an advocate system

Someone to speak up for you (advocate) - Social care and support guide

Find someone who can sit with you in assessments, speak up for you and help you fill in forms.

www.nhs.uk

maybe something like this might help?

I'm in a similar (though very different, if that makes sense!) situation. I have played the system for four years. And lost. Now I'm back at the beginning, fading and broken, with no voice.

 

[Xena87]

I don't want to die, but it seems like it's my only option.
A few months ago, I tried getting help with my mental health, PTSD and BPD.
A mental health nurse assessed me and said I wasn't ready for therapy as I wasn't in the right mindset for it.
But my mental health is declining very rapidly.
The mental health nurse is not being helpful. She is suggesting stuff like going on a day course and distracting myself, but I've already tried it, all of it, and nothing is working.
She also says things like suicide is selfish and made me watch a TED Talk on it.
It's not helping, I should of been referred for therapy. The psychologist was very surprised she didn't refer me to therapy.
I can't go private as we can't afford it.
They know I have a plans and the means but they aren't doing anything about it.
My husband thinks I should be sectioned.
I keep doing stupid shit.
I keep making him frustrated and sick with worry. I don't mean to, but I know it's the situation he is frustrated at and not me.
I really honestly do not want to die, but at this point, it is my only option out of this mess.
I need therapy, but I've been denied it.
I'm so stuck and don't know what to do.
I don't want to die, but I need to die.

Sweetheart we live in the UK. This is a trash country where the government want you dead or at least soooo mentally ill that you become locked in your room like quasimodo and unable to function on a day to day basis. I have 2 options: Beachy head and Euthanasia! I really don't want to go through this and I don't blame you for not wanting this either

 

[ctbUniquectb]

Unless you're super wealthy, the cards are stacked against you. Even then, you're probably in a world of shit.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

The cards are stacked against you so you will take any deal on the table, even if its a bad one. Unfortunately, the house always wins.


You have to keep playing the game if you want to live, there is no other way. You have to be cleverer than the dealer and figure out a way to play a system that is set against you. Keep on at them until you get an appointment. Ask for a second opinion. I don't know where you are but here in the UK there is an advocate system

Someone to speak up for you (advocate) - Social care and support guide

Find someone who can sit with you in assessments, speak up for you and help you fill in forms.

www.nhs.uk

maybe something like this might help?

I'm in a similar (though very different, if that makes sense!) situation. I have played the system for four years. And lost. Now I'm back at the beginning, fading and broken, with no voice.

Thank you for the advice.
I am trying but it is hard.
I do have my husband that could be my advocate , but I'm pretty sure it won't make a difference.
As you said, the system is set against us and there is no way to win.
I don't even know how to ask for a second opinion, but I am getting extremely desperate.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Thank you for the advice.
I am trying but it is hard.
I do have my husband that could be my advocate , but I'm pretty sure it won't make a difference.
As you said, the system is set against us and there is no way to win.
I don't even know how to ask for a second opinion, but I am getting extremely desperate.

Me too, so I hear you. The only way is to out-think and manipulate them, but carefully, so they don't notice. I've found that doctors must be led to the decisions you want them to make. It shouldn't be like that, and it sickens me that I have to resort to that sort of thing. I'm probably going to read up on psychological manipulation techniques and body language. If they take away my voice, what else can I do? But yeah, its really hard to do when you are desperate.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

the system is set against us and there is no way to win.

The system isn't out to get anyone, the society is just structured in a staggeringly vicious fashion. Ordinary working people standing together and putting in sustained effort can generate favorable results.

 

[LittleJem]

Are you in the UK?
Are you on any medication? Have you seen your GP?
If your mental health nurse is (which she is) abjectly failing you - get a second opinion if you can.

My friend had to literally sit in A&E and exaggerate how bad things were (they were pretty bad already) and this speeded her up getting seen.

The system sucks entirely, is underfunded, full of bad eggs as well as good ones. You need to find a way to play it to get help.

In the meantime, for occasional use: Phenibut can be helpful. Tianeptine is worth looking into and can be ordered online (it is prescribed in Europe, though not legal in UK and USA, but easy to import). Modafinil can lift mood and motivation. Useful websites: RUPharma (excellent reviews on Trustpilot) and also Intellimeds. I have ordered from both of them with success.

Also look at Kratom. You won't get it on prescription, but it can help people significantly. Didn't help me, but I wish it had!

I hope you find something that helps you. Do try some things before you make any decisions.

Also, Ketamine is the best stuff out there for depression and PTSD so look into that. Very expensive to have it done medically, but you can get it black market and microdose it. This is my current plan. I was having luck with Sarcosine (which works on same receptors as Ketamine) and NAC - supplement called Profrontal - but after two weeks it seems to have stopped helping me again - which is horribly common for me. I am also trying the Fisher Wallace stimulator. I am better than I was before at the moment (suicidal thoughts quieter) but still pretty low again.

Sweetheart we live in the UK. This is a trash country where the government want you dead or at least soooo mentally ill that you become locked in your room like quasimodo and unable to function on a day to day basis. I have 2 options: Beachy head and Euthanasia! I really don't want to go through this and I don't blame you for not wanting this either

The government do want you dead - they are just not kind enough to be honest and provide euthanasia. They are stripping people of benefits and forcing them to suffer. I wish the government was honest and humane and said to everyone suffering, step this way if you want a painless end.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

The system isn't out to get anyone, the society is just structured in a staggeringly vicious fashion. Ordinary working people standing together and putting in sustained effort can generate favorable results.

I believe that's true. Its not intentional. Many of them do the best they can for the right reasons. Its just really tough and limited and often doesn't work. I do think a change in attitude in allopathic medicine would be more productive though. An approach based around the individual instead of symptom based might work better. But such a thing is difficult to implement and takes time and money, things that are in short supply.

 

[Xena87]

Unless you're super wealthy, the cards are stacked against you. Even then, you're probably in a world of shit.

Right, ft

Are you in the UK?
Are you on any medication? Have you seen your GP?
If your mental health nurse is (which she is) abjectly failing you - get a second opinion if you can.

My friend had to literally sit in A&E and exaggerate how bad things were (they were pretty bad already) and this speeded her up getting seen.

The system sucks entirely, is underfunded, full of bad eggs as well as good ones. You need to find a way to play it to get help.

In the meantime, for occasional use: Phenibut can be helpful. Tianeptine is worth looking into and can be ordered online (it is prescribed in Europe, though not legal in UK and USA, but easy to import). Modafinil can lift mood and motivation. Useful websites: RUPharma (excellent reviews on Trustpilot) and also Intellimeds. I have ordered from both of them with success.

Also look at Kratom. You won't get it on prescription, but it can help people significantly. Didn't help me, but I wish it had!

I hope you find something that helps you. Do try some things before you make any decisions.

Also, Ketamine is the best stuff out there for depression and PTSD so look into that. Very expensive to have it done medically, but you can get it black market and microdose it. This is my current plan. I was having luck with Sarcosine (which works on same receptors as Ketamine) and NAC - supplement called Profrontal - but after two weeks it seems to have stopped helping me again - which is horribly common for me. I am also trying the Fisher Wallace stimulator. I am better than I was before at the moment (suicidal thoughts quieter) but still pretty low again.


The government do want you dead - they are just not kind enough to be honest and provide euthanasia. They are stripping people of benefits and forcing them to suffer. I wish the government was honest and humane and said to everyone suffering, step this way if you want a painless end.

Absolutely! Evil! I'm glad you see with open eyes the truth of the situation..

 

[Quarky00]

on psychological manipulation techniques and body language

Search "interrogation techniques" (police & lawyers)
I found body language useless , small things that are not useful to focus , just need to "break suspect" lol . Also basic emotional empathy lacking . Doctors aren't moved . Need to shock lol
~

Sorry but the system is fucked . What are they talking about all the time? You got it right -- minimize costs. Doctors are not there to "heal" people but to maximize organization profits and good PR.

Even "good" doctors and nurses work under constraints, schedule, budget. You have 10 minutes for a patient. You cannot be a "good" doctor with that, sorry :) And after 10 years of austerity (worldwide btw) they are used to it and cannot do much. And they play along with the system (how about being a whistleblower?). Many became numb and careless. That's why we hate doctors so much.

And @SHThrowAway213 , I'm deeply disturbed by the feedback you received . It's a appalling . Oh you're not ready , oh watch this TED video , wtf ?!

I'm sorry people went out to the streets across the world - the public , teachers , doctors - nothing changed . Need to hack the system . "Abuse" it . (it's not really abuse but we're so honest and silenced and feel bad and guilty! )

 

[Deleted member 1465]

*corrected in my mind to 'psychological and interrogation techniques.' Muhahaha!

 

[AlreadyGone]

Thank you for the advice.
I am trying but it is hard.
I do have my husband that could be my advocate , but I'm pretty sure it won't make a difference.
As you said, the system is set against us and there is no way to win.
I don't even know how to ask for a second opinion, but I am getting extremely desperate.

I hope you find a way to push through this and get the help you need. So sorry the system is working against you.

 

[Ghost2211]

The mental health system is frustrating at best. It's really bs they are not giving therapy when you're asking for it. I would suggest finding another source of therapy.

I want help to. I can't get it either unless Im willing to be locked up. I'm sorry you're dealing with all this.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Are you in the UK?
Are you on any medication? Have you seen your GP?
If your mental health nurse is (which she is) abjectly failing you - get a second opinion if you can.

My friend had to literally sit in A&E and exaggerate how bad things were (they were pretty bad already) and this speeded her up getting seen.

The system sucks entirely, is underfunded, full of bad eggs as well as good ones. You need to find a way to play it to get help.

In the meantime, for occasional use: Phenibut can be helpful. Tianeptine is worth looking into and can be ordered online (it is prescribed in Europe, though not legal in UK and USA, but easy to import). Modafinil can lift mood and motivation. Useful websites: RUPharma (excellent reviews on Trustpilot) and also Intellimeds. I have ordered from both of them with success.

Also look at Kratom. You won't get it on prescription, but it can help people significantly. Didn't help me, but I wish it had!

I hope you find something that helps you. Do try some things before you make any decisions.

Also, Ketamine is the best stuff out there for depression and PTSD so look into that. Very expensive to have it done medically, but you can get it black market and microdose it. This is my current plan. I was having luck with Sarcosine (which works on same receptors as Ketamine) and NAC - supplement called Profrontal - but after two weeks it seems to have stopped helping me again - which is horribly common for me. I am also trying the Fisher Wallace stimulator. I am better than I was before at the moment (suicidal thoughts quieter) but still pretty low again.


The government do want you dead - they are just not kind enough to be honest and provide euthanasia. They are stripping people of benefits and forcing them to suffer. I wish the government was honest and humane and said to everyone suffering, step this way if you want a painless end.

Yes I am in the UK.
I am on medication.
Yes, when I first tried to get help
I don't know how to do that to be honest.
Thanks for all the advice, I shall look into it.

 

[LittleJem]

All I can say is Modafinil has helped me a lot today. I sent an email to my family about how I am planning my funeral. Then took extra Modafinil and I am no longer crying or feeling suicidal. I recommend trying it. It is quite cheap too.

It sounds to me like you need a follow up appointment with a psychiatrist to review your medication, as it isn't working well enough for you. You need to fight for this with your GP. Try and bypass any blocks. Eg if your mental health nurse is blocking, then go to GP. If you're GP not helping, go to a different GP. I know two websites, one where you can buy Russian pharmaceuticals (there is a great one highly rated on TrustPilot) including Phenibut and Modafinil. Another Dutch one where you can buy Nootropics including Tianeptine. Don't give up, keep trying x

 

[Jean4]

I am in the USA. Can you please explain what a mental health nurse is? I have never heard of a person in the medical field telling a person that they are not ready for therapy.

In the USA, if a licensed person told that to a person asking for therapy, unless they were in a coma, (and I had therapy sessions with those on a coma because hearing is the last sense to go) they would either be written up or have their license revoked.

 

[LittleJem]

I am in the USA. Can you please explain what a mental health nurse is? I have never heard of a person in the medical field telling a person that they are not ready for therapy.

In the USA, if a licensed person told that to a person asking for therapy, unless they were in a coma, (and I had therapy sessions with those on a coma because hearing is the last sense to go) they would either be written up or have their license revoked.

They like to screen suicidal people out of therapy in the UK!!!! Seriously. That is the NHS system. They are trying to screen people out, because they are oversubscribed.

 

[Jean4]

They like to screen suicidal people out of therapy in the UK!!!! Seriously. That is the NHS system. They are trying to screen people out, because they are oversubscribed.

Let me see if I understand.

These people whose job it is to get people therapy who want it, purposely say no?

In the USA the way to get hospitalized and therapy is by saying you are suicidal. You go to the front of the line... which is why people say it even if they are not.

 

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

Let me see if I understand.

These people whose job it is to get people therapy who want it, purposely say no?

In the USA the way to get hospitalized and therapy is by saying you are suicidal. You go to the front of the line... which is why people say it even if they are not.

It doesn't work like that here the NHS doesn't take mental health seriously.

 

[Thereisnothing]

It doesn't work like that here the NHS doesn't take mental health seriously.

You can say that again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

They like to screen suicidal people out of therapy in the UK!!!! Seriously. That is the NHS system. They are trying to screen people out, because they are oversubscribed.

I've posted this elsewhere so apologies if its been read already...

After my mum died I asked my GP to point me in the direction of grief counselling. I wasn't depressed, I was grieving, but I was concerned that it might develop into depression due to my natural tendencies. He made me do a questionnaire to quantify how 'depressed' I was, which ofc I barely registered on. I told him I'd pay for counselling if he could point me in the right direction. He refused and attempted to prescribe me Prozac instead. For grief.

I don't know about others, but my experience here in the UK is that they want you on medication first and foremost. They hand SSRIs out like toffees without any information on side effects, withdrawl or long-term effects. Its impossible for the patient to make an informed decision about taking the drug.

 

[Thereisnothing]

I've posted this elsewhere so apologies if its been read already...

After my mum died I asked my GP to point me in the direction of grief counselling. I wasn't depressed, I was grieving, but I was concerned that it might develop into depression due to my natural tendencies. He made me do a questionnaire to quantify how 'depressed' I was, which ofc I barely registered on. I told him I'd pay for counselling if he could point me in the right direction. He refused and attempted to prescribe me Prozac instead. For grief.

I don't know about others, but my experience here in the UK is that they want you on medication first and foremost. They hand SSRIs out like toffees without any information on side effects, withdrawl or long-term effects. Its impossible for the patient to make an informed decision about taking the drug.

You are so right and its so sad....................UK is absolutely shocking to the point of neglect...............this is why this time I am not even approaching anyone with my grief.........or go them anymore with my physical health..............its all an abomination...................suffer in silence regards any help is concerned.

 

[Jean4]

It doesn't work like that here the NHS doesn't take mental health seriously.

I'm seeing that. Neither does Trump who stopped funding for mental health, but we still try.

It's unethical in any place of the world to turn away people who need immediate help. We have city hospitals (which are horrible) to treat the homeless, those without insurance, drug addicts etc. They aren't permitted to turn anybody away, even if they put patients in the hallway because there are no beds.

 

[Thereisnothing]

People assume us in UK have free healthcare and its great...............its used to be that way, but many moons ago now..............NHS long gone to the dogs in all aspects.

 

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

The NHS system has been abused like everything else a GP told me I can't take suicide seriously what you need is to get a job that will sort you out.

 

[Jean4]

People assume us in UK have free healthcare and its great...............its used to be that way, but many moons ago now..............NHS long gone to the dogs in all aspects.

It's still better than US where it is so expensive nobody can afford it. I can't.

 

[LittleJem]

I don't blame the NHS - they are underfunded and oversubscribed. But some of the people are also heartless or ignorant or both. I'd rather they just say, we only have funding for X group of people and were just upfront. To say that people are not ready for counselling for example seems to be a nonsense.

In the private sector - my friend recommended me a counsellor who costs £120!!!!!! !!!! !!!! an hour. Who works with psychosis, suicidality, the whole shebang.
I am not convinced it would do anything for me - but really the excuses given by the NHS are a nonsense.