Venting can't stop thinking about everything i've lost

[junko]

i have things i need to do. forms I need to fill out and tasks to complete
but I can't. i feel frozen. all I can think about is how much I've lost and how much I'm going to lose if I don't get my shit together yesterday
I have no one who can help me. I'm a failure. I'm completely on my own. my life is over
daily panic attacks for almost a full month now
I hate showing my face in public.
I'm thinking about just cleaning up my apartment and walking until I come across a bridge tall enough to jump off of. maybe I'll leave a note for my landlord. I'm going to be homeless soon anyway, why not just cut to the chase and get it over with?

I wish I could hire someone to come tie a noose for me, lol. I don't trust myself to tie one strong enough to do the job. I have carpal tunnel that makes tying hard and I'm awful at tying anyway.

 

[orca87]

That's exactly my experience for weeks now

 

[emptymiku]

i feel the same. also, hi fellow junko & melanie martinez fan. small world.

 

[SilentSadness]

That sounds terrible for you, there really is no maximum amount of suffering we can experience. I also want to die and wish someone could do it for me. I hope you make up for what you've lost soon.

 

[junko]

i feel the same. also, hi fellow junko & melanie martinez fan. small world.

And a fellow vocaloid fan! Danganronpa, Melanie Martinez, and vocaloid seem to be the unholy Trinity of depression, lol

That sounds terrible for you, there really is no maximum amount of suffering we can experience. I also want to die and wish someone could do it for me. I hope you make up for what you've lost soon.

There really isn't a maximum, is there? I've always thought that I've hit rock bottom only to discover that things can always get worse. And if there's one thing I can rely on, it's that life usually does get worse

Thank you for your kind words, though. I hope both our suffering eases up or ends soon

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really tiring situation to be trapped in, life really is so unnecessarily cruel, but anyway I wish you the best. There could certainly never be anything fair about existing in this hellish world.

 

[Storyteller]

I have things to do that I've been avoiding for three weeks if not more. And it's awful, cause it creates more problems now. If anyone who knows me will figure it out before I can ctb, I will break... So I understand how you feel. I hope you'll find the strength to complete your tasks