Venting Can't sleep... again 🙄

[Livingvsdying25]

Finished a book earlier. Fell asleep for I dunno an hour or so and now awake again sick of sleep issues. Guess I'll just force myself to read another book...

Sick of living

 

[delusionalgirl]

Finished a book earlier. Fell asleep for I dunno an hour or so and now awake again sick of sleep issues. Guess I'll just force myself to read another book...

Sick of living

I feel this on so many levels. My lack of sleep issue has hit a new level. Multiple days with zero sleep and having to not work.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I suffer from bouts of insomnia. During my last episode I didn't sleep at all for 4 days due to severe anxiety issues.
I began hallucinating at one point and everything felt like a waking dream.
It was kinda fun, yet utterly exhausting.
Sorry you can't sleep, I hope you manage to get some shuteye soon.

 

[Fktw0rld]

Sleep issues definitely intensify everything negative going on in ones life. I'm sorry you're dealing with it. Hopefully it will improve. I've been struggling with suicidal depression, DiD and PTSD since 2001. Managing to make it this far. In 2003 the sleep issues began. Insomnia, sleep paralysis, false awakenings, lucid PTSD dreams, night terrors, even somniphobia. When we can't even resort to rest as a method of escape, nothing is left.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Sk

Sleep issues definitely intensify everything negative going on in ones life. I'm sorry you're dealing with it. Hopefully it will improve. I've been struggling with suicidal depression, DiD and PTSD since 2001. Managing to make it this far. In 2003 the sleep issues began. Insomnia, sleep paralysis, false awakenings, lucid PTSD dreams, night terrors, even somniphobia. When we can't even resort to rest as a method of escape, nothing is left.

Sleep paralysis is a freaky thing to be sure. I suffered from this big time in my teens. My mind would be awake, yet my body paralysed.
I would fight like hell to open my eyes or scream yet it would be impossible to do so.
Sorry you went through this too.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

All my issues are just feeding off eachother.

The CPTSD adds to my sleep issues. The sleep issues add to the CPTSD & Eating issues. The eating issues add to anxiety & probs sleep issues. and so forth. Its so fun when u have health issues that just exasperate one another.

I really am hoping to buy some nitrogen and SN by next week.

I won't dare make the same mistake of trying to engage in life.

the women that was going to give me a ride and called to check in. That was nice of her. I just ended up sobbing. My worker messaged me and wants to meet in person tmrw.

I just feel like a broken record but she's fine with meeting so why not I guess.. meeting or not meeting isn't gonna impact anything.


The women asked what she can do to help.. only thing anyone can do to help is helping me end my life & no one is gonna help with that. So... there's nothing else anyone can really do tbh.

I'm usually dissociated when experiencing this level of pain but I've done enough healing to now be present but it's just as painful. I used to live my days so dissociated I couldn't really go out bc it was dangerous. Like not being able to notice cars going by kinda thing. That was 2-3 yrs ago. I'm not in that place anymore & tbh I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing anymore.

Anyway. I'm... just gonna get back to tryna read and Youtube videos. Might take some CBD and try to eat. /ima have to eat bc I'm already hungry. I'm actually kinda angry at my body for being this fucking hungry. Like.... wtf?

Stupid fucking tears... kinda helpful in a sense of making me tired but otherwise just an annoying reminder of how much im hurting.

Well whatever. I have nothing left in me today to do anything anyway

 

[Fktw0rld]

Sk

Sleep paralysis is a freaky thing to be sure. I suffered from this big time in my teens. My mind would be awake, yet my body paralysed.
I would fight like hell to open my eyes or scream yet it would be impossible to do so.
Sorry you went through this too.

It's brutal, especially when no one is around to move you or wake you. I hope you never deal with false awakenings. Talk about absolute terror and craziness. I had no idea wtf was happening to me until I finally did some research. If I had a choice to remove 1 thing from all of my sleep issues, I would choose to never deal with false awakenings ever again.

Nothing like fully waking up in your own bed and living your normal life for a few hours in your own home, with a little twist of hell house and house of 1000 corpses, but with no functioning equilibrium or sense of direction, being randomly tossed and thrown around by some unseen force in your own kitchen, living room and bedroom.

Then waking up again.

All my issues are just feeding off eachother.

The CPTSD adds to my sleep issues. The sleep issues add to the CPTSD & Eating issues. The eating issues add to anxiety & probs sleep issues. and so forth. Its so fun when u have health issues that just exasperate one another.

I really am hoping to buy some nitrogen and SN by next week.

I won't dare make the same mistake of trying to engage in life.

the women that was going to give me a ride and called to check in. That was nice of her. I just ended up sobbing. My worker messaged me and wants to meet in person tmrw.

I just feel like a broken record but she's fine with meeting so why not I guess.. meeting or not meeting isn't gonna impact anything.


The women asked what she can do to help.. only thing anyone can do to help is helping me end my life & no one is gonna help with that. So... there's nothing else anyone can really do tbh.

I'm usually dissociated when experiencing this level of pain but I've done enough healing to now be present but it's just as painful. I used to live my days so dissociated I couldn't really go out bc it was dangerous. Like not being able to notice cars going by kinda thing. That was 2-3 yrs ago. I'm not in that place anymore & tbh I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing anymore.

Anyway. I'm... just gonna get back to tryna read and Youtube videos. Might take some CBD and try to eat. /ima have to eat bc I'm already hungry. I'm actually kinda angry at my body for being this fucking hungry. Like.... wtf?

Stupid fucking tears... kinda helpful in a sense of making me tired but otherwise just an annoying reminder of how much im hurting.

Well whatever. I have nothing left in me today to do anything anyway

The whole situation sucks, I agree. All you can do is force a routine for the day, like you said. Look for distractions and try again.

Love and respect