Venting can't seem to do anything anymore

[madtagless]

i don't know what it is, if im just burned out or something, but i can't seem to do anything right or on time. i've always felt the same, like it's all for nothing, but somehow i've always managed to get stuff done, specially under pressure. now even the most trivial task seems impossible, not worth the time, so ill just waste my time scrolling or smoking. I DONT GIVE A FUCK A FUCK anymore. im writing this as i procrastinate studying for a test in about 6 hours. i know i won't get sleep, and i'll still study enough to barely get a passing grade, but fuck is this all my life has to offer. FIGHTING AGAINST MY STUPID MIND TO GET SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME A FEW HOURS AT MOST IN A WHOLE NIGHT?

i feel like ending it, i don't have anyone, and ive pushed away everyone who once tried to bond with me.
i just had to vent out a little bit, i see no future for myself, but ill hang here for a few more years (even with these thoughts that chase me day and night), i might hit the lottery or find the right person (BOTH AS UNLIKELY).

just so i dont feel like a total burden i try to do stuff, i use nic pouches, lots of coffee and listen to video game osts (minecraft usually) WITH MIXED RESULTS

 

[Gomomon]

Honestly, I relate to this so hard you have no idea. Do you think you have ADHD? I'm in college rn and I legit last-minute every single darn assignment. Feel guilty for not working on things, procrastinate ALL DAY, and have zero fun doing it, Just afer that dopamine shot fr. I would give yourself a break, honestly, some of us just have to fight harder to learn at the same pace as other people. I feel so embarrassed when it takes me my entire day to put out something shittier than another person. Music and Caffine are actually great for ADHD and bring me to some semblance of normal. I'd recommend that sweet, sweet Adderall for concentration, if ya can get your hands on it. If you need a shoulder to lean on, you can DM, i'm in the same boat.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Sounds like depression. This is exactly what depression does to me. Everything is a chore, harder to do, harder to find motivation, everything takes longer, don't care, or care less, about everything. It sucks.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Sounds like depression. This is exactly what depression does to me. Everything is a chore, harder to do, harder to find motivation, everything takes longer, don't care, or care less, about everything. It sucks.

Exact same symptoms and situation with me

 

[Hopel3ss]

we are on the same boat

 

[madtagless]

Honestly, I relate to this so hard you have no idea. Do you think you have ADHD? I'm in college rn and I legit last-minute every single darn assignment. Feel guilty for not working on things, procrastinate ALL DAY, and have zero fun doing it, Just afer that dopamine shot fr. I would give yourself a break, honestly, some of us just have to fight harder to learn at the same pace as other people. I feel so embarrassed when it takes me my entire day to put out something shittier than another person. Music and Caffine are actually great for ADHD and bring me to some semblance of normal. I'd recommend that sweet, sweet Adderall for concentration, if ya can get your hands on it. If you need a shoulder to lean on, you can DM, i'm in the same boat.

yeah i might have adhd, im not too sure about self medicating myself but im finally getting my evaluation done next week in a special clinic. i've heard adderall makes u act like a zombie, but hey if it makes it so i actually get shit done it might not be as bad. but i don't wanna lose my spark u know. also, have u experienced any withdrawal symptoms from aderall or other adhd meds? thats one of my biggest fears, and one of the things that bothered me the most about ssris.