Venting Can’t love my family like I used to

[KuroiHana]

Back when I first started high school, I started to develop mental health problems such as social anxiety and eventually depression due to my family constantly moving around, which has made me start my social life over multiple times, eventually making me feel like any future connections are pointless.
My family knew I no longer had friends but it always felt like they prioritized my failing grades and nothing else. Hell, my elder brother even laughed at me for it, so why tell them anything else about my "teenage" problems.
Present day, they are now completely aware that I attempted to CTB recently and shower me with over the top love and care. I can tell they truly care, but it just doesn't do anything for me anymore. It feels like they failed me before and I really just can't get over that due to the point I'm at now. I put more love into friends over family at this point.
The chronic loneliness pains me and my family just doesn't fill that void anymore. Really feel like I'm not gonna make it to my next birthday. Feel like my dog is the only being in my house keeping me here.

 

[Sleeper System]

1. You can't accept love from others until you can learn to love yourself.
2. Put yourself in your families shoes. Prospective is nessessary for understanding and only worrying about your own feelings is antiproductive.
3. Affection from and for pets is not real love. Really think about the human to pet relationship. It's actually fucking disgusting and sad.
4. Ignore all of this because living inside your own head is easier than facing reality.
5. Good luck kid. It could be worse. But everyone is the victim in their tale of sadness.

 

[AloneInCollege]

1. You can't accept love from others until you can learn to love yourself.
2. Put yourself in your families shoes. Prospective is nessessary for understanding and only worrying about your own feelings is antiproductive.
3. Affection from and for pets is not real love. Really think about the human to pet relationship. It's actually fucking disgusting and sad.
4. Ignore all of this because living inside your own head is easier than facing reality.
5. Good luck kid. It could be worse. But everyone is the victim in their tale of sadness.

So I can never love others then or accept love from them (not that I get any tbh). I literally hate myself. I never understood that whole thing. I can love others even though I hate me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Living really is so painful and I'm sorry for all the suffering that you have to endure. I know that for many, loneliness can be devastating. I hope that in whatever happens, you are able to find relief from what you are going through.

 

[iookforwardtonext]

Hey, I understand. Forgiving family or even being civil with them is hard, let alone loving them. I relate to this a lot, my family aren't the greatest to me. But you'll be okay, it's more common than you think that people don't get on with family members. Try take things slowly, it's good you have your dog. Pets are usually a lot better company! Hehe

 

[Well-Edited Chaos]

Well, I sure see thing here differently!

1. You can't accept love from others until you can learn to love yourself.

Accepting love from others is sometimes the path to learning to love ourselves. "You think I'm worthy?! Maybe I am worthy after all."

2. Put yourself in your family's shoes. Perspective is necessary for understanding and only worrying about your own feelings is unproductive.

Perspective is necessary? 100% true. But @KuroiHana isn't worrying about their feelings; they're just feeling them. Which is what people do.

3. Affection from and for pets is not real love. Really think about the human to pet relationship. It's actually fucking disgusting and sad.

Affection from and for pets is healthy and normal and wired into humans. We've lived with and cared for animals for thousands of years - most of them animals meant to live in communities, like us. And sometimes we have the pleasure of their company and affection (often it's genuine, but - let's not kid ourselves - sometimes they're just opportunistic fucks looking for more food!!).

Plus, inter-species relationships are common among mammals. It's not some exclusively human weirdness.