Help can't live, can't die - what helps?

[DyingToDie123]

Today has been hard. Nothing helps me feel better anymore. I have two friends left, one of them shut me out because his depression is making him catatonic, he won't even let me try to help him. The other one is just so busy and just doesn't seem to get how bad it is no matter how hard I try to explain to her. Schoolwork used to distract me but it feels dumb because I have no career left because of my legal issues, so I don't know why I bother. Everything is shit.

I've been trying to fill up my time with support groups and the SaSu chat and sleep but I always end up feeling worse after. I don't know what else to do. I feel like since SI won't let me die (at least for another two weeks while my argon and EEBD come in) I have no choice but to figure out how to feel better but I don't know how.

I've tried meds (7), residential treatment, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient, CBT, DBT, ACT, Depth Hypnosis, Twelve Steps, other support groups, ketamine infusions, etc. Nothing helps. I feel like I'm at my wits end trying to figure out where to go next.

It feels weird asking a suicide forum to tell me how to feel better but I'm so so desperate right now. What do I do?

 

[puella]

I wish I had advice. I'm sorry nothing has been helping you, I wish I could. It's obvious to me you've been trying incredibly hard to recover. I care about you. Good luck.

 

[carac]

I heard a rumour that this can lighten anyones mood


Seriously though, you have two weeks left, I know it's difficult but have you thought about doing anything that could make you feel valuable or worthwhile with your time left. Like me posting that little video is kind of selfish, it makes me feel like I did something, like I tried to help someone.