Can’t keep grieving

[hahahahahah]

I've felt suicidal since I was 9 year old. The past 11 years I have spent trying all different kinds of treatments and other stuff to try to help me feel better. I don't think anything has really ever worked. My mom was recently diagnosed with early onset dementia (she's mid 50s) and my dad is too drunk to support her. The pain and grief I already feel about my mom is too much and I know it's only going to get 10000 times worse. I live in a completely different state as my family and I don't see the point of genuinely trying anymore. I am going to follow through with my plans Sunday after work

 

[bluedream]

i feel you. my mom had early onset dementia, doesnt often know who i am, and my dad passed recently so i am in the process of giving conservatorship of her to the state because i cant afford her care. the grief has me making plans to go soon as well despite very recently being in my recovery arc.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find peace from the suffering, to me existence really is too cruel.