Venting Can't help being jealous of accidents

[astonishedturnip]

It's inappropriate and grisly as fuck, but I can't help being jealous of people who die in freak accidents. Especially with how hard it is to CTB and make it look like an accident (which I wish for, as it would be slightly easier on my loved ones).

A distant acquaintance recently passed away at home, he slipped down the last two stairs, fell strangely, and was reported to have died instantly and painlessly. An old classmate randomly ODed on a cheap/widely available prescription and OTC meds, EMTs said it was one in a million chance. I have lots of FB friends (mostly just because I rarely delete anyone) and I'll see death notices about young people who died in their sleep with no medical issues, or a random aneurysm, fell on their own knife, whatever. I also live in a state with a big outdoorsy culture so quite a few fatal hunting, ATV and boating accidents too.

I know most, if not all, of these people wanted to live and had things to live for. Like why tf could the universe not let me pass away in my sleep peacefully, and let the innocent person keep going and enjoying life? They deserve it more than me. I've never even broken a bone tbh. Maybe I need to take up rock climbing.

 

[Olisop21.]

It's inappropriate and grisly as fuck, but I can't help being jealous of people who die in freak accidents. Especially with how hard it is to CTB and make it look like an accident (which I wish for, as it would be slightly easier on my loved ones).

A distant acquaintance recently passed away at home, he slipped down the last two stairs, fell strangely, and was reported to have died instantly and painlessly. An old classmate randomly ODed on a cheap/widely available prescription and OTC meds, EMTs said it was one in a million chance. I have lots of FB friends (mostly just because I rarely delete anyone) and I'll see death notices about young people who died in their sleep with no medical issues, or a random aneurysm, fell on their own knife, whatever. I also live in a state with a big outdoorsy culture so quite a few fatal hunting, ATV and boating accidents too.

I know most, if not all, of these people wanted to live and had things to live for. Like why tf could the universe not let me pass away in my sleep peacefully, and let the innocent person keep going and enjoying life? They deserve it more than me. I've never even broken a bone tbh. Maybe I need to take up rock climbing.

I too envy people that die. I would trade places with any of them.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I think about this too also why can´t the universe micro manage the natural selection better like I suffer from chronical illnesses among mental problems so why not let me be one of the people who died instantly in an accident and as you said let the people who actually want to live be replaced by me or any other who can´t live life.

 

[theboy]

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone who is driving, I feel like grabbing the steering wheel and crashing it into a truck or something.

 

[mrelief82]

Im the same. :(

 

[FuneralCry]

I also envy them and see them as fortunate as they are now free from all future suffering, in fact to me only those who no longer exist are fortunate, it sounds so ideal to peacefully not exist.

 

[Olisop21.]

I wish for non existence too.

 

[sserafim]

"Only the good die young."

 

[Raven2]

I think about this sometimes too or wish for an illness every time I get a slight ailment I wish for a life threatening illness to finish me off.

 

[anxiousmess0471]

I hate to admit this but I also envy them. And I know I shouldn't because technically dying is not something the majority of the population ever wishes for. People view it as being the worst thing possible that could happen. If I was every given a chance to trade places with people who have died I would do it in a heartbeat. I don't know if it makes me a bad person or ungrateful for the life I'm living, but I can't help myself from wanting to die.