Venting Cant go by morphine, now it's train/SN/jumping again SIGH

[Deleted member 22624]

I'm devastated. Morphine could have been a good way out but I don't know if I can get it after all.

I might have to choose train next, but AFAIK it's not easy to get to full speed trains in the south east uk,

I don't know stats on collisions, or strategies for maximising chance of success or anything. Is all that on these boards?

I have fucking tried so many options and I'm VERY reluctantly considering SN combined with jumping but I don't like either at all, individually or combined. So I'd be giving a train driver an experience, but at this point I can accept that he'll recover, I could write him a thank you note, he'll get a raise, he's trained for this. in a week's time he'll be back to normal self, more or less. They are very well paid, it attracts people suitably capable of processing it. Society leaves very few choices for the desperate

 

[Endeavour]

I don't really want to use SN but it's easy fast and certain if done right, so I think that's what I'll be doing.

I'd prefer to do CO but with the lockdowns it's not easy, plus wrong time of year to be pitching a tent - suppose could do that - but it's not as certain as SN.

I wish I had N, I'd take it tonight I am so fed up now.

I knew the covid numbers would be bad today (I don't actually believe what they're telling us any more) but 53,000 - that means lockdown from Jan 1st, there's just no light to the end of this nightmare.

It's going to go on forever at this rate and I just can't take much more of it.

Sorry you're struggling OP, it's a choice of the lesser of the evils unfortunately.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I don't really want to use SN but it's easy fast and certain if done right, so I think that's what I'll be doing.

I'd prefer to do CO but with the lockdowns it's not easy, plus wrong time of year to be pitching a tent - suppose could do that - but it's not as certain as SN.

I wish I had N, I'd take it tonight I am so fed up now.

I knew the covid numbers would be bad today (I don't actually believe what they're telling us any more) but 53,000 - that means lockdown from Jan 1st, there's just no light to the end of this nightmare.

It's going to go on forever at this rate and I just can't take much more of it.

Sorry you're struggling OP, it's a choice of the lesser of the evils unfortunately.

You're really ok with the effects of SN, even the potential suffocating feeling? That could go on for some time?

 

[Deleted member 94]

You're really ok with the effects of SN, even the potential suffocating feeling? That could go on for some time?

Why would you choose a painful method like train over sn even pph lists sn as peaceful.

 

[Endeavour]

You're really ok with the effects of SN, even the potential suffocating feeling? That could go on for some time?

From what I've seen people seem to get nauseus and dizzy, then pass out, then the heavy breathing starts.

I don't think they feel like they're suffocating, the heart beats faster in response to less oxygen in the blood, and the breathing rate increases / becomes deeper for the same reason.

But from what I've seen / read people seem to be unconscious by then.

Whatever method is not going to be nice and easy, there's something to worry about with all of them. Kind of why I'd prefer CO really, you supposedly pass out quickly and just drift off. As long as no air gets in.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Why would you choose a painful method like train over sn even pph lists sn as peaceful.

PPH is not reliable, I disagree that SN is that peaceful unfortunately.

I don't think train is painful if done right. It can't be if it knocks you out? Then as long as you die quickly enough or ensure you're just brain-dead. Maybe combine it with another method, but don't know how SN could work, I can't just jump Infront of a train the instant SN becomes too much

 

[Deleted member 94]

PPH is not reliable, I disagree that SN is that peaceful unfortunately.

I don't think train is painful if done right. It can't be if it knocks you out? Then as long as you die quickly enough or ensure you're just brain-dead. Maybe combine it with another method, but don't know how SN could work, I can't just jump Infront of a train the instant SN becomes too much

Pph means peaceful pill handbooks all methods listed in it are peaceful. I can't imagine train being peaceful but violent.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

From what I've seen people seem to get nauseus and dizzy, then pass out, then the heavy breathing starts.

I don't think they feel like they're suffocating, the heart beats faster in response to less oxygen in the blood, and the breathing rate increases / becomes deeper for the same reason.

But from what I've seen / read people seem to be unconscious by then.

Whatever method is not going to be nice and easy, there's something to worry about with all of them. Kind of why I'd prefer CO really, you supposedly pass out quickly and just drift off. As long as no air gets in.

I had an unusually bad reaction to Argon of feeling of suffocating that I haven't explained, so afaik I can't really rule out the same happening with CO or SN

Pph means peaceful pill handbooks all methods listed in it are peaceful. I can't imagine train being peaceful but violent.

No pain if it's done right, it just has to be done right. I'm not going to argue about the book anymore, imo Nitchke is not to be trusted

 

[suicidaltoad]

No pain if it's done right, it just has to be done right. I'm not going to argue about the book anymore, imo Nitchke is not to be trusted

How? Putting your head in the path of the wheels?

 

[Deleted member 94]

I had an unusually bad reaction to Argon of feeling of suffocating that I haven't explained, so afaik I can't really rule out the same happening with CO or SN

No pain if it's done right, it just has to be done right. I'm not going to argue about the book anymore, imo Nitchke is not to be trusted

What about all the members here who have detailed their passing, I didn't read any which said they were in huge discomfort. Some didn't even follow the regiment. When I'm going to do it I have stuff to knock me out after I've had the second glass.

 

[Endeavour]

What about all the members here who have detailed their passing, I didn't read any which said they were in huge discomfort. Some didn't even follow the regiment. When I'm going to do it I have stuff to knock me out after I've had the second glass.

That's what i need - something to knock me out. What do you plan on using?

 

[Deleted member 22624]

How? Putting your head in the path of the wheels?

I have no idea about train geometries, do they have guards? Bumpers? How high? Different models of trains? It's not easy to ensure you're getting right, but I heard that the lethality is high for trains in general, at least in the UK.

 

[Deleted member 94]

That's what i need - something to knock me out. What do you plan on using?

I've got phenobarbital, I tried od on it but it knocked me out, I was still under when I was found 30 hours later and rushed to the hospital.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

What about all the members here who have detailed their passing, I didn't read any which said they were in huge discomfort. Some didn't even follow the regiment. When I'm going to do it I have stuff to knock me out after I've had the second glass.

Surely whatever you're using to knock you out would be a better agent, and avoid SN altogether

I've got phenobarbital, I tried od on it but it knocked me out, I was still under when I was found 30 hours later and rushed to the hospital.

Ah. Sorry about . Wish I could get some

 

[Deleted member 94]

I have no idea about train geometries, do they have guards? Bumpers? How high? Different models of trains? It's not easy to ensure you're getting right, but I heard that the lethality is high for trains in general, at least in the UK.

Do many people suicide by train in the UK.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Do many people suicide by train in the UK.

Several local to me in the last 2 weeks! I think it is a common method

 

[justsad&done]

So sorry you're first choice method isn't working out. That is so frustrating.
You have to be comfortable with the method you choose.

I hesitate to say this because I said it once on somebody else's thread and it wasn't well received. But if you have anyone at all that you care about or are close to, please consider them if you choose the train method. That is how my fiance killed himself. I read the police report. I have nightmares every night and I cannot get the images out of my head. Ever. I'm sorry. I know it's your choice. It has just devastated me. It is extremely violent.

 

[Deleted member 94]

Surely whatever you're using to knock you out would be a better agent, and avoid SN altogether

Ah. Sorry about . Wish I could get some

No I told family to leave me alone for a while, my mum panicked and wanted to check up on me. Phenobarbital requires a while to kill a person. I forget but it's a couple of days. But what I do remember is it knocked me out in minutes and waking up in hospital ICU after what could be days.

 

[PureMetanoia]

I mean as a UK resident living in the South-East of England as you indicate - wouldn't it be possible for you to take the Eurostar to France or one of those low-budget flights over and use their bullet train system, the TGV? As a fellow "train enthusiast" I would definitely stray away from the delipidated British private train system, however France, Germany, Spain and Italy all have looooong straight routes for their high-speed trains, moving at more than enough to provide an instantaneous and nearly picture-peaceful exit (especially if you put some headphones on to block some of the approaching sound).

 

[Jarni]

I had an unusually bad reaction to Argon of feeling of suffocating that I haven't explained, so afaik I can't really rule out the same happening with CO or SN

Please do you mean that you tried Argon / plastic bag merhod? I would just like to react and say that if it is so, I read that as far as Argon is heavier than Nitrogen or Helium, it's not a good alternative for the "helium/plastic bag method". Too heavy to go out from the lungs.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

So sorry you're first choice method isn't working out. That is so frustrating.
You have to be comfortable with the method you choose.

I hesitate to say this because I said it once on somebody else's thread and it wasn't well received. But if you have anyone at all that you care about or are close to, please consider them if you choose the train method. That is how my fiance killed himself. I read the police report. I have nightmares every night and I cannot get the images out of my head. Ever. I'm sorry. I know it's your choice. It has just devastated me. It is extremely violent.

Sorry for this thread, then, I feel guilty dredging this up for you. Seeing the police report can't have helped

I mean as a UK resident living in the South-East of England as you indicate - wouldn't it be possible for you to take the Eurostar to France or one of those low-budget flights over and use their bullet train system, the TGV? As a fellow "train enthusiast" I would definitely stray away from the delipidated British private train system, however France, Germany, Spain and Italy all have looooong straight routes for their high-speed trains, moving at more than enough to provide an instantaneous and nearly picture-peaceful exit (especially if you put some headphones on to block some of the approaching sound).

That would be too complicated and stressful, thanks though. If so many people are killing themselves here by train then there's probably a good reason, it's probably "common knowledge" that it's one of the more lethal options we have? I think we have enough straight track! 90Mph in many cases. Just need to find a close level crossing with a line like that, there used to be a database but they took it down

 

[justsad&done]

Sorry for this thread, then, I feel guilty dredging this up for you. Seeing the police report can't have helped

You're very kind to apologize. Thank you for that.
But I understand that it is some people's best method. Admittedly it's hard to think about, but I think about it 24/7 anyway. True, seeing the police report and the coverage on the local news was very hard.
I really do hope you find something peaceful.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Please do you mean that you tried Argon / plastic bag merhod? I would just like to react and say that if it is so, I read that as far as Argon is heavier than Azote or Helium, it's not a good alternative for the "helium/plastic bag method". Too heavy to go out from the lungs.

Thanks. Phh of course said it would work. Unreliable source, it failed and now I have 3 bottles to get rid of, and I'm not in a position to get more now

 

[Endeavour]

Argon should work fine, and nitrogen. Helium depends where you get it from they mix it with air now to stop people ctb.

 

[Jarni]

Thanks. Phh of course said it would work. Unreliable source, it failed and now I have 3 bottles to get rid of, and I'm not in a position to get more now

Yeah I understand... :-( Not easy to get rid of the 3 bottles... I ordered Argon too, but cancelled my order at time just after reading on a forum that Argon creates problems to welders and they can't exhale it. As I understood, Nitrogen and Helium was tested by number of people but not Argon. So with Nitrogen it has to be OK (but it is just my reads on deifferent forums, as I said).

 

[AutoTap]

I don't really want to use SN but it's easy fast and certain if done right, so I think that's what I'll be doing.

I'd prefer to do CO but with the lockdowns it's not easy, plus wrong time of year to be pitching a tent - suppose could do that - but it's not as certain as SN.

I wish I had N, I'd take it tonight I am so fed up now.

I knew the covid numbers would be bad today (I don't actually believe what they're telling us any more) but 53,000 - that means lockdown from Jan 1st, there's just no light to the end of this nightmare.

It's going to go on forever at this rate and I just can't take much more of it.

Sorry you're struggling OP, it's a choice of the lesser of the evils unfortunately.

Yeh if only we had easy access to something we just had to drink and then would fall asleep and die peacefully.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Yeh if only we had easy access to something we just had to drink and then would fall asleep and die peacefully.

It seems too easy to get scammed

 

[Isadeth]

I wouldn't mind going by opiates. Mainly Dilaudid. But morphine sounded nice too. I have been taking the co method more seriously and it doesn't seem too awful.

I'm sorry your method of choice is no longer available or that you were scammed. :(