• Light/Dark
  • If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    We will never comply with any of OFCOM's demands or any other nations censorious demands for that matter. We will only follow the laws of the land of which our server is located, which is the US.

    Any demands for censorship or requests to comply with the law outside of the US will be promptly ignored.

    No foreign laws or pressure will make us comply with anti-censorship laws and we will protect the speech of our members, regardless of where they might live in the world. If that means being blocked in the UK, so be it. We would advise that any UK member gets a VPN to browse the site, or use TOR.

    However, today, we stand up these these governments that want to bully or censor this website.

    Fuck OFCOM, and fuck any media organization or group that think it's cool or fun to stalk or bully people that suffering in this world.

    Edit: We also wanted to address the veiled threats made against a staff member in the UK by the BBC in the news today. We are undeterred by any threats, intimination, by the BBC or by any other groups dedicated to doxxing and harassing our staff and members. Journalists from the BBC, CTV, Kansas Star, Daily Mail and many other outlets have continuiously ignored the fact that many of the people that they're interviewing (such as @leelfc84 on Twitter/X) and propping up are the same people posting addresses of staff members and our founders on social media. We show them proof of this and they ignore it and don't address it.They're all just as evil as each other, and should be treated accordingly. They do not care about the safety of our staff members, founders, or administrators, or even members, so why would they care about you?

    Now that we have your attention, journalists, will you ever address this? You've given these evil people interviews, and free press.

Help Can't get over what they did to me and feel so stuck

phantomisgone

phantomisgone

Saving my world first before theirs.
Oct 17, 2022
44
It's been two years since my SN attempt. Surviving physically, but mentally, it's been tough.

A former friend betrayed me, put myself into therapy to get better, started to live my life how I want to, and hoping that I can just... be. Exist. Be myself. I did a 180 and got better for a while. However, it feels like I'm doing another 180. My mentality and outlook on the world has changed. I don't have that wonder and kindness anymore and it makes me disappointed.

I'm just so vengeful over this whole fiasco. How I couldn't handle the world and was brought back from my SN attempt. As if I'm not allowed to leave and have some purpose here.
I have to see the faces of the people who did me wrong while they get to live blissfuly. The people who've ruined a lot of good things for me, get to live on as happy, while I have to make plans to "start over" in life and get away from them. I have to be the one who "proves them wrong"? Why do *I* have to live my life like that? I don't want to.

What makes me so frustrated is that I can't even touch them. It would make me "the wrong one". "Who am I to judge people" is what people constantly tell me, but who are they to make me a victim?

I don't want to live with this victim mentality in my life. Nor do I want to live as if I got something to prove. I just want to exist. To be.

Everyone always tell me how they need people like me in the world, but I just always question why they cannot be that person themselves?
I just feel so stuck. Sometimes, I wish that I was an abuser. So that way, I can feel like how my abusers feel. Nothing. I wouldn't be sitting here, on my laptop, complaining. Probably doing my own thing.
I just hate the world.
 
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: galier, Mebius and GoatHerder
G

galier

Member
Aug 2, 2024
7
phantomisgone said:
Everyone always tell me how they need people like me in the world, but I just always question why they cannot be that person themselves?
I just feel so stuck. Sometimes, I wish that I was an abuser. So that way, I can feel like how my abusers feel. Nothing. I wouldn't be sitting here, on my laptop, complaining. Probably doing my own thing.
I just hate the world.
Click to expand...
I had never thought about it from that perspective, but it resonates with me a lot right now. Honestly I too sometimes wish I could be the abuser so I could live without feeling anything, just live and not suffer the consequences of being someone who cares about others. But more than that, I wish very deeply that the world were different, and that evil were not the norm.
 
  • Like
Reactions: phantomisgone
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

phantomisgone
Help Can't get over what they did to me. Feel stuck in life.
Replies
0
Views
179
Suicide Discussion
phantomisgone
phantomisgone
huntermellow
Venting no one gets it
Replies
12
Views
272
Suicide Discussion
huntermellow
huntermellow
ropeburns&migranes
Venting I'm so pathetic it's painful, I feel like I'm going crazy
Replies
2
Views
213
Suicide Discussion
skylight7
S
AbsurdAbyss
my final statement.
Replies
2
Views
229
Suicide Discussion
CatLvr
C
M
Accepting I can't ctb
Replies
22
Views
676
Recovery
MaidenException
MaidenException
Top Bottom