Can’t find the right time to plan my ctb

[depressedlover]

I can't seem to find the best time for my ctb plan.I wish i hadn't failed the last attempt,or let me just say i wish i had come across this site before that attempt,I'm certain i wouldn't have failed.Now i can't get the right day,simply because April and May aren't really good dates to my remaining family (the ones i only care about) because my dad and bro died and were buried around the same time.So if i do it now it'll leave a big mark on them,by reopening the healing wounds and i will also be the first one to cbt in the family in a society where it's considered a bad omen.I feel the more i wait,the more i hurt.June seems so far yet i have all the ingredients for my last drink.
I want to get it done with but also confused.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's difficult to set dates for ctb far in advance as after all we do exist in this uncertain and unpredictable world, and also things can get in the way of ctb plans, but of course it's understandable just wishing to be gone. I wish you the best with your plans.