Venting can't feel anything...

[lost_one]

why is it that on the only moment where I wish to feel them, to try and reconcile and think about everything, my fellings fleed me, am I disassociating?
Why can't I feel anything?
I would normally love this, but yesteday and today are the only free days I have to spend the entire day thinking about the past reading and idk trying and I can't feel anything. I have made five cuts on my arm, and felt nothing. Oh the irony.

 

[HereIGoAgain24]

Our minds exist to keep us alive, nothing more... and even then, they're not great at it. I'm sorry you have to go through this.