I understand you. Right now I'm writing some notes for my loved ones and telling them what to do after I'm gone. I'm going to break up with my bf today. In 2 hours I'll go to the doctor to get some antidepressants, for the first time. I'm planning to hang myself soon as possible, maybe tonight. I hope I'll have the nerve to do that.
Have you tried full suspension? I tryied partial a month ago and It was terrible, I felt like my head was going to explode anytime.