Can't even enjoy the good because of fear of it ending

[penguinl0v3s]

Even when life is good, I can't enjoy it because I worry about the day that those things will be gone.

Not even necessarily emotionally, even though that's a part of it. Financially, being scared that my stream of income will suddenly disappear even though I have no reason to believe it would. Or with my health, knowing that I could get into an accident randomly and become disabled.

I try to value everything that I have and appreciate it while it lasts. It's so tiring. I would rather be able to say that my happy sugar life will last, but I know that that's not true. I get the anxious feeling in my chest that makes it hurt so much that it's hard to breathe. Until I ignore the reality of the situation again.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I feel the same every day. I actively have to remind myself things won't last so that I don't get attached and feel awful when they end. It doesn't really work and I just feel like I'm desperately clinging to things all the time. And when it gets so bad, I just let go of everything and don't enjoy anything. I'm sorry you're going through something similar.

 

[Abyssal]

The anxiety is so horrible. I get this with insomnia, checking the clock, every minute counting down to my wish to die.