Venting cant do this anymore

[wednesday]

hello everyone, ive been having probably the worst week of my entire life and i lost one of my closest friend today and someone i would willingly put my own life at risk for. not only that but my family has been planning to move out the country and make me attend a university. so much pressure and guilt is on me because when i go, i dont want my family to feel what im feeling right now. i cant imagine raising someone for 19 years straight and just having them die suddenly. i really cant think of anything and i try my best to keep it together but im losing it slowly. thought about jumping from a tall building but i dont have the courage no matter what i do, and i cant really buy anything since i stay with my family. all im doing right now is just surviving and its taking me down. it would help me a ton if anyone could tell me a method or an advice. thank you

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'm sorry you've had such a difficult week. It sounds like a very challenging situation in which to be. Have you been able to talk to anyone about your feelings? Not even necessarily the desire to end your life, but just about the challenges you experience. A close friend, or a counselor? There are lots of resources available to young people to help eliminate challenges or at least reduce the effects of them. Sometimes they're just not so easy to find.

 

[wednesday]

I'm sorry you've had such a difficult week. It sounds like a very challenging situation in which to be. Have you been able to talk to anyone about your feelings? Not even necessarily the desire to end your life, but just about the challenges you experience. A close friend, or a counselor? There are lots of resources available to young people to help eliminate challenges or at least reduce the effects of them. Sometimes they're just not so easy to find.

not really, i once had a therapist but for some reason every session my mother had to sit beside me (?) so i didnt really open up and after a month i stopped going to therapy. i used to talk to the friend that i mentioned, about my problems and all that but now that he's gone i dont really know what to do

 

[Lostandfound7]

My condolences on the loss of your beloved friend♡ and sorry to hear about your shitty week..Same here...

Have you tried discussing with your mom possibly finding another therapist and speaking to them ALONE?..It really defeats the purpose of going to a therapist and "opening up" when your being so closely monitored by mom in the session..

Edit: I'm not sure why they would even allow that since you're an adult..crazy..
.

 

[wednesday]

My condolences on the loss of your beloved friend♡ and sorry to hear about your shitty week..Same here...

Have you tried discussing with your mom possibly finding another therapist and speaking to them ALONE?..It really defeats the purpose of going to a therapist and "opening up" when your being so closely monitored by mom in the session..

Edit: I'm not sure why they would even allow that since you're an adult..crazy..
.

i know, it was my first time so i thought it was supposed to be like that. ill try to ask her but because of covid idk if ill be able to.