Venting Can't commit suicide

[AntiBan]

I think about it all the time, but I can't. I fear the possibility that if I die here, my consciousness will still continue to suffer, either in a place like hell or some other physical shit that people have not yet discovered.

I wish I could act like any other nihilistic atheist and say nothing will happen, but I don't know that for sure no matter how smart I'll try to sound.

For me having no option other than to suffer is horror anime level fucked up.

 

[cherub]

Maybe it isn't truly time to go yet then?

 

[WhyWasIBorn]

I wish I could act like any other nihilistic atheist and say nothing will happen, but I don't know that for sure no matter how smart I'll try to sound.

I like to remind myself of all the thousands, millions of innocent children suffering right now in constant pain and stress from their terminal disease or illness, and tell myself there wouldn't be a "God" to allow this. This must be the reality of suffering hell were already experiencing. Can it get worse?

 

[Slate128]

If God condemned you to this life, you'd be better off ignoring him. That's not someone you want to spend eternity with.

If your soul is tortured forever (a very big if) then you already know how that feels. Its possible to get used to the idea that you'll never get better.

 

[Oblivion]

Im 100% sure there's nothing after life, yet im a coward and im not able to do it.
btw you will eventually die, so it doesnt really matter if its now or later

 

[iiii5555]

It seems like an irrelevant thing to be concerned about. No one can obtain knowledge about what happens after death, nor if anything is required to do for the deceased. From observing other people who have died, the only conclusion which can be reached is that nothing happens. Treating death as if it's the end of everything would be the most prudent course of action, because believing that something happens is contrary to the observable world of the life which you are certain about having, thus deluding you into behaving in a way which could negatively impact your life.

Remember: Happiness is increased by rationally evaluating the world and modifying your behavior. The more delusional you are, the less you're able to be happy. By not appling critical, vigorous thought to your situation, you're only going to stunt yourself (Case in point).

 

[AntiBan]

Maybe it isn't truly time to go yet then?

What time is the right one then? The main reason I consider it is because of rational thinking, not just the past - It's both. I know that things will never get to a certain point. That's the worst part, I know I'm right, there's no denying it.

I like to remind myself of all the thousands, millions of innocent children suffering right now in constant pain and stress from their terminal disease or illness, and tell myself there wouldn't be a "God" to allow this. This must be the reality of suffering hell were already experiencing. Can it get worse?

The funny part is people have always considered god to be a perfect entity when clearly it's impossible given that he has allowed suffering, and so much of it. Basically we're fucked, either humanity is on its knees and some humans will continue to suffer immensely till the day they die, or they'll also die and then possibly suffer a 1000000 times worse fate in the afterlife.

People never think about death rationally and think consciousness is just a meme so they off themselves like it's some computer game without any further thoughts, when it's the only thing that makes anything meaningful.

 

[cherub]

What time is the right one then? The main reason I consider it is because of rational thinking, not just the past - It's both. I know that things will never get to a certain point. That's the worst part, I know I'm right, there's no denying it.

The funny part is people have always considered god to be a perfect entity when clearly it's impossible given that he has allowed suffering, and so much of it. Basically we're fucked, either humanity is on its knees and some humans will continue to suffer immensely till the day they die, or they'll also die and then possibly suffer a 1000000 times worse fate in the afterlife.

People never think about death rationally and think consciousness is just a meme so they off themselves like it's some computer game without any further thoughts, when it's the only thing that makes anything meaningful.

What I meant was, it's best to reconcile the feelings of fear first before you make the choice, so that you don't panic last minute and excerbate the situation(i.e make an attempt, only to panic and end up hospitalized).Sorry, I wasn't clear. I'm out of it.

 

[FF777]

I believe in an after-life.. It's fine if other people don't..

Lot of people have NDEs and it sure is curious how so many of them keep describing the sames types of events that happen during the NDE..
The wikipedia article on NDEs has a list of what most commonly occurs during NDE reports:

Common traits that have been reported by NDErs are as follows:

A sense/awareness of being dead.
A sense of peace, well-being and painlessness. Positive emotions. A sense of removal from the world.
An out-of-body experience. A perception of one's body from an outside position, sometimes observing medical professionals performing resuscitation efforts.
A "tunnel experience" or entering a darkness. A sense of moving up, or through, a passageway or staircase.
A rapid movement toward and/or sudden immersion in a powerful light (or "Being of Light") which communicates with the person.
An intense feeling of unconditional love and acceptance.
Encountering "Beings of Light", "Beings dressed in white", or similar. Also, the possibility of being reunited with deceased loved ones.
Receiving a life review, commonly referred to as "seeing one's life flash before one's eyes".
Approaching a border or a decision by oneself or others to return to one's body, often accompanied by a reluctance to return.
Suddenly finding oneself back inside one's body.
Connection to the cultural beliefs held by the individual, which seem to dictate some of the phenomena experienced in the NDE and particularly the later interpretation thereof.

I've read tons of NDE reports because it is an interesting subject to me, and in all of the NDEs I've read that concerned suicide, the subject said that absolutely no judgement was held against them for suiciding.. In fact there never really seems to be any judgement at all about your whole life from any one except your self..

I believe that we are all just conscious energy, and energy can never be destroyed, it can only change forms..

Any way, I'll lay a couple of links down here if you or any one here might be interested in reading some NDE reports from people; There are tons of them..

https://iands.org/research/nde-research/nde-archives31/account-index.html

https://www.nderf.org/Archives/NDERF_NDEs.html

 

[a.h]

I have read many of those also and have had the most pleasant nde. I found this interesting also:

Suicide Near Death Experience

Desperate, she committed suicide and lived through a near death experience.

www.angelsghosts.com

Since I kind of believe that everything is destined somehow.

 

[Nobodysfault]

I like to remind myself of all the thousands, millions of innocent children suffering right now in constant pain and stress from their terminal disease or illness, and tell myself there wouldn't be a "God" to allow this. This must be the reality of suffering hell were already experiencing. Can it get worse?

It can ALWAYS get worse

 

[Boonks]

Sounds like your fear of the unknown is greater than your pain. You're not ready. Case closed.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Im 100% sure there's nothing after life, yet im a coward and im not able to do it.
btw you will eventually die, so it doesnt really matter if its now or later

I think it's completely natural to want to die so badly but not being able to do it. As humans we cling to life no matter how bad it may be. It's instinctual for us to fight to live. Like if someone broke into your house and attacked you no matter how bad your situation is you'd still fight for your life because it's human nature. When you really and truly can't take it anymore longer that is when people are able to kill themselves. I'm preparing and trying to get the nerve up every day. I know how I'm going to do it. I'm just scared that I'm never going to see my mother again or maybe I'll be all alone in some kind of afterlife. But I doubt it. I've met people who gave died on operating tables and have been brought back and they say there is no God or white light or afterlife. It's just like how it was before you were born. You won't even be aware of it.

 

[Rachel74]

You are not ready x

 

[Nephis]

I think about it all the time, but I can't. I fear the possibility that if I die here, my consciousness will still continue to suffer, either in a place like hell or some other physical shit that people have not yet discovered.

I wish I could act like any other nihilistic atheist and say nothing will happen, but I don't know that for sure no matter how smart I'll try to sound.

For me having no option other than to suffer is horror anime level fucked up.

Think about complete and utter darkness then think about sleeping think about your mind fading away make it go blank absolutely nothing no fear no pain no emotions just utter comfort in darkness if you are fine with even that then your ready for death if your fine with never waking up as though you fell asleep then your ready for death if your fine with never existing then your ready the fear your facing now is you afraid of nothing because even if you do go to something as ludicrous as hell you'll still feel nothing. Even if you do feel something like me your soul is tortured everyday anyway and that's what happens in hell so why not just say that by dying here your escaping it instead also I'm an atheist and boarder nihilist.

Also sorry for run on sentences!

 

[Oblivion]

SO HOW THE FUCK CAN WE GET OVER THE SURVIVAL INSTINCT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Blackjack]

I'm having horrific panic attacks, they're terrifying. Terrified to live, terrified to die.

 

[justanotherday]

I'm having horrific panic attacks, they're terrifying. Terrified to live, terrified to die.

Me too... It is hell to be stuck on this earth because of fear of a failed attempt.

 

[Blackjack]

Me too... It is hell to be stuck on this earth because of fear of a failed attempt.

I've never experienced panic attacks like this. I don't know what to do.

 

[justanotherday]

I've never experienced panic attacks like this. I don't know what to do.

I don't know either. I have tried different medications and cannot tolerate them. I cannot "talk" myself out of it with positive thinking crap... nothing works. Anxiety has total control over me and it is worse than ever. I almost feel like I could throw up from it. I have lived like this for too long and it is taking a toll.

I don't know either. I have tried different medications and cannot tolerate them. I cannot "talk" myself out of it with positive thinking crap... nothing works. Anxiety has total control over me and it is worse than ever. I almost feel like I could throw up from it. I have lived like this for too long and it is taking a toll.

I don't know either. I have tried different medications and cannot tolerate them. I cannot "talk" myself out of it with positive thinking crap... nothing works. Anxiety has total control over me and it is worse than ever. I almost feel like I could throw up from it. I have lived like this for too long and it is taking a toll.

Sorry, did not mean to post this twice.

I don't know either. I have tried different medications and cannot tolerate them. I cannot "talk" myself out of it with positive thinking crap... nothing works. Anxiety has total control over me and it is worse than ever. I almost feel like I could throw up from it. I have lived like this for too long and it is taking a toll.


Sorry, did not mean to post this twice.

I must have posted this by accident multiple times... sorry

 

[sleepy dog]

I'm having horrific panic attacks, they're terrifying. Terrified to live, terrified to die.

I was like that. The forced Seroquel seems to help a little. You have the most reliable method. I just worry if you have enough. How much do you weigh?

Me too... It is hell to be stuck on this earth because of fear of a failed attempt.

Same hear. Terrified to fail. And I am already on court order. They might lock me in state hospital, don't know. I would be homeless when I got out if that happened and I would lose all my possessions, everything.

 

[wendydong1]

I always think of ourselves like cars. When we die, we are just like those cars in the junk yard. Getting crushed to pieces and disintegrate...

 

[woxihuanni]

The anxiety is very physical when it hits, I just watch it. Not fight it, not think positive, just watch it. Almost as if my body was a wild animal, because that's what it is in the end. I have compassion for it and its fear and pain, but sometimes we need to kill. That's how I try to deal.

Doesn't mean anything will be easy once I lift it to my lips, though.

 

[Dawn0071111]

SO HOW THE FUCK CAN WE GET OVER THE SURVIVAL INSTINCT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alcohol! Lol

 

[White_Room293]

What time is the right one then? The main reason I consider it is because of rational thinking, not just the past - It's both. I know that things will never get to a certain point. That's the worst part, I know I'm right, there's no denying it.

The funny part is people have always considered god to be a perfect entity when clearly it's impossible given that he has allowed suffering, and so much of it. Basically we're fucked, either humanity is on its knees and some humans will continue to suffer immensely till the day they die, or they'll also die and then possibly suffer a 1000000 times worse fate in the afterlife.

People never think about death rationally and think consciousness is just a meme so they off themselves like it's some computer game without any further thoughts, when it's the only thing that makes anything meaningful.

I mean I OD on Tramadol and was crying right before I downed the pills but I had to fight the SI for a minute but eventually said fuck it and swallowed like 500mg. And then was like I need to swallow more because I can't half ass this so I took about 1200mg and some benzos. Long story short, I woke up like 12 hours later and was ODing hard and failed. I was drinking a bit when it happened and completely off my meds but I doubt it would be that hard if I fell into another mood and truly wanted to die in that moment if I had the supplies in front of me.

 

[justanotherday]

I was like that. The forced Seroquel seems to help a little. You have the most reliable method. I just worry if you have enough. How much do you weigh?

Same hear. Terrified to fail. And I am already on court order. They might lock me in state hospital, don't know. I would be homeless when I got out if that happened and I would lose all my possessions, everything.

Wow, I am sorry you are going through anxiety and having to worry about that stuff. That is terrible!

 

[Blackjack]

I was like that. The forced Seroquel seems to help a little. You have the most reliable method. I just worry if you have enough. How much do you weigh?

I have (2) 100ml bottles & I am under 200 pounds.

 

[sleepy dog]

It should be enough.

 

[Oblivion]

Alcohol! Lol

You cant take alcohol before SN

 

[Dawn0071111]

You cant take alcohol before SN

Oh yeah that right sorry