I think there are various levels of depression. If you've ever filled in one of those questionnaires at your doctors- there are multiple symptoms:
The Patient Health Questionnaire (PHQ-9) is an easy-to-use patient questionnaire for screening, diagnosing, monitoring and measuring the severity of depression.
patient.info
You can still come out as having mild depression without scoring in all areas though. Years ago, when I did it, I came out as being mild to moderately depressed. I imagine it would be the same now.
But, I can still enjoy certain things in life. I just don't like life overall though! The reality of having to work and pay for the things I do enjoy. It's weird in a way that would be considered depression. It's kind of saying not to conform (gladly) means you're mentally ill! It's complicated though- I think. I wish it were better diagnosed and understood.
So- I can function. I can hold down a job. I can do what's expected of me. It's a huge struggle though and- without the actual pressure to do things- I will bed rot. I will allow my sleeping and eating and hygiene patterns to become erratic. And, the longer I let myself slip, the harder it is to bring myself back in line.
That's what I find difficult though I suppose. When is it we're allowed to say: 'I can't do this because I'm depressed'? Is it really that I have a very mild form of depression compared to others or, is it because I feel more guilt bound to live up to the expectations placed on me?
It's that I find curious. Do we all start off with mild depression that then gets better or worse- according to how we act? Or, do some people literally get hit initially with such severe depression that they can barely move?
I have this theory for me, that it's a vicious circle. That when the initial symptoms appear- lethargy, lack of enthusiasm or motivation to do even basic tasks. That if we give in to those symptoms and just neglect our basic needs- we literally physically make it harder for ourselves. Because our fitness drops, we likely aren't eating or sleeping properly. Which then in turn, makes us more depressed. I'm in that cycle now to be honest. I've been gradually letting things go for so long now that it's now going to be genuinely so much harder physically for me to do even basic things.
I agree though. I remember watching a television drama where they refered to the mental well being of someone being reliant on how well they can cope with the exterior world. So yes- lack of resources to cope in a situation- either physical or mental can surely make us depressed.
I suppose my level of social anxiety means I find lots of situations very unpleasant. What confuses me more is- I sort of proved to myself I could cope by doing jobs that involved working with and sometimes, managing others. But- I overall hated it. But then- even after getting life more suited to me. Living and working alone- I'm still not happy! So- is it only that we can't cope? Maybe it's also that we don't want to cope anymore! I think just the prospect of having to live this life- even if we can largely cope with it- can be depressing in itself! If the bad outweighs the good.
