Act Two

Act Two

Happy thoughts in shards, all over the floor.
Jan 29, 2024
35
I'm trying to get help. I feel trapped, like CTB is my only way out. I've made plans w/ a date that's about 1 month out, to give myself time to think it over and find a different solution.

So far, nobody knows how depressed and suicidal I am, so I guess I do a pretty good job of pretending. I don't feel comfortable telling my friends or parents about everything going on, since they think I'm doing just fine. I think I might reach out to an old friend who lives very far away via text messages, but I'm afraid she might report my phone number somehow (I'm very paranoid about people finding out how I really feel).

Is this something I should be worried about? I feel like that's the only way to talk to someone about this and get advice, but I'm scared that it'll all fall apart if they trace it back to me.
 
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Act Two

Act Two

Happy thoughts in shards, all over the floor.
Jan 29, 2024
35
What kind of advice do you want?

I'm just not sure if it's "safe" to reach out to this friend of mine, or if she could report me via my phone number & name and everyone I know would find out.
 
Little_Suzy

Little_Suzy

Amphibious
May 1, 2023
941
I'm just not sure if it's "safe" to reach out to this friend of mine, or if she could report me via my phone number & name and everyone I know would find out.

In the US, your friend can contact the service provider to place a welfare call.

If you don't want to be found, don't stay at your current address.
 
J

jellyobit

Member
Jan 29, 2024
6
I've been reported to the VA after calling hotline and volunteering my info, literally nothing happened they made me call a number of a Safe team and they acted like I was bothering them by following instructions to call them.
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,344
Reaching out is a double edged sword you should be prepared for "everything" when u tell others about you being highly suicidal. You have to weigh up which is better and what is your goal - what u expect from reaching out.

Can the problem that causes your depression be fixed? Do u know what triggers your wish to CTB? Can that be eliminated? (You only need to answer for yourself!)

If you really want help, you will have to reach out to someone and live with the consequences.
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,685
You won't know whether or not it's safe to reach out to your friend until you do it. I don't think there's any way to know in advance how your friend will react. I was once very badly let down by a very close friend whom I trusted and reached out to for support. (Even after 50 years, that still hurts.) It might be safer to approach a complete stranger, someone who doesn't know your personal details but who you think will listen to you and respond in a sensible way. If it turns out that they aren't trustworthy, at least they won't know enough about you to do you any harm.
 
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Moonomyth

Student
Feb 6, 2020
196
I can't gauge how your friend will react to what you're saying, but there are multiple systems in place in the US for somebody to report someone if they seem to be imminently likely to ctb. They will be taken seriously enough to at least attempt a welfare check on your person by sending the police, which can lead to involuntary commitment either because something during the check makes them cautious, or because they have already decided to do so when they arrive.

If you are calling from a cellphone, they may be able to find you based on geolocation, so leaving both the phone and your location after the call for the rest of the day is your best choice in the event you feel your friend has contacted the authorities.
 
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