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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
Can this urge to ctb susdenly appear. Like a switch which is turn on?
 
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supermario

Experienced
Oct 21, 2021
233
I'm not sure. I've been pushed to the extreme as far as mental pain, and even in that moment, I can't say my immediate urge to ctb increased that much. It's like this invisible barrier that is almost impossible to cross at a moment's notice. That's why methods like jumping or hanging are out of the question for me.

That's the good thing about SN and N I think- you can take baby steps spread out in a day to slowly execute the regime, then in that final critical moment, work up enough courage to finish the deed.
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,484
Well I can speak for myself. Even before I decided ctb at some point, i did get the urge to jump from a building. Not sure why. Around age 21, i was walking along the cliff tops like in my avatar icon and had this real need to jump off at 350 feet. Not sure why. The strange thing is, it came out of nowhere. I was shocked because life was fun, I was in love. Ive read similar reports of people jumping of these cliffs and the reasons were unclear. Be kind to YOU❤
 
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Belljar

Member
Nov 13, 2021
81
It came once I was traumatized enough and realized I ruined my life.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,846
Yes, I think in many cases certain things can give someone a urge to ctb, for example a painful memory. Of course in my case I want to die all the time, but I believe when things get worse for me, it will give me the desperation I need to finally go through with it and overcome the SI.
 

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