![notevenhere](/data/avatars/l/61/61893.jpg?1714947140)
notevenhere
Ghost Angel
- Apr 27, 2023
- 99
it's genuinely one of the main reasons i'm offing myself. haha. my ex had the audacity to tell me that i think so shallow about the world because i accused him of not understanding how i feel because i'm borderline. he doesn't know that i feel things too intensely. so much so i have to cut myself to calm down. i haven't heard from him for a day, which is killing me. i don't mean anything to him anymore. in fact, he got really mad at me when i said that I'm planning to end it all soon.
he says the most hurtful things and i know it's manipulative of me to dangle my suicide in front of him to get him to pay attention to me.
that's the thing about bpd, isn't it? we're so demonized. we're called really bad people, we're the worst. as if I already don't feel unlovable. as if i don't struggle everyday with my emotions. and how exhausting it is to deal with fluctuating moods and splitting.
I'm so tired. I'm sure it's cringe to say "nobody understands," but it's exactly how i feel. and i don't really want to burden anybody with my bpd anymore.
i can't even stand feeling this way, what more if it's another person who has the choice to leave me? I'd abandon me, too.
he says the most hurtful things and i know it's manipulative of me to dangle my suicide in front of him to get him to pay attention to me.
that's the thing about bpd, isn't it? we're so demonized. we're called really bad people, we're the worst. as if I already don't feel unlovable. as if i don't struggle everyday with my emotions. and how exhausting it is to deal with fluctuating moods and splitting.
I'm so tired. I'm sure it's cringe to say "nobody understands," but it's exactly how i feel. and i don't really want to burden anybody with my bpd anymore.
i can't even stand feeling this way, what more if it's another person who has the choice to leave me? I'd abandon me, too.