Can an objectively deformed person have bdd about that deformity?

[livershapedbox]

I'm objectively deformed or whatever less mean sounding term people want to call it, so calling my reaction to it bdd has always seemed like toxic positivity bullshit. However I have recently realized that I have some very drastic fluctuations in how I feel about my deformed body and face, usually it looks repulsive and inhuman, but some days it just looks like a fairly common uglier than average woman (like the level of ugliness that doesn't always have to be a result of some medical problem and doesn't make you a total outcast, if that makes sense, huge improvement over my more usual perception of myself).
Does this mean I do have bdd or some other mental issue even though it's not a lie that my body and face are deformed to an extent? Like is my usual perception of it an exaggerated truth?

 

[timf]

I worked with a guy once who had a big purple birth mark on half his face. Interestingly after two weeks you never really noticed it. He was aware of it and the fact that new people took time to adjust. By and large after an initial adjustment, character qualities are much more important like kindness, humor, honesty, and compassion.

Bdd might be a problem if it cripples some other aspect of life. Sometimes people can spend too much time thinking about themselves so that periodically they give more than normal attention to how they look. It sounds like bdd might be for someone who has more than occasional bouts.

Everyone gives extra attention to something unusual and almost everyone adapts to the unusual with familiarity.

 

[Shroomsonmyhead]

I'm objectively deformed or whatever less mean sounding term people want to call it, so calling my reaction to it bdd has always seemed like toxic positivity bullshit. However I have recently realized that I have some very drastic fluctuations in how I feel about my deformed body and face, usually it looks repulsive and inhuman, but some days it just looks like a fairly common uglier than average woman (like the level of ugliness that doesn't always have to be a result of some medical problem and doesn't make you a total outcast, if that makes sense, huge improvement over my more usual perception of myself).
Does this mean I do have bdd or some other mental issue even though it's not a lie that my body and face are deformed to an extent? Like is my usual perception of it an exaggerated truth?

For sure! Even if you are objectively deformed, you can still possess exaggerated negative responses to those deformities.

As counterintuitive as it sometimes feels, the two are entirely unrelated. One could be objectively deformed and literally never feel bad about it, just as one could be the most conventionally attractive person on the planet and still possess BDD.

If you feel as though you have BDD, then it is very likely that you do. The big question is: are those feelings bad enough that you want to seek treatment for it?

 

[livershapedbox]

For sure! Even if you are objectively deformed, you can still possess exaggerated negative responses to those deformities.

As counterintuitive as it sometimes feels, the two are entirely unrelated. One could be objectively deformed and literally never feel bad about it, just as one could be the most conventionally attractive person on the planet and still possess BDD.

If you feel as though you have BDD, then it is very likely that you do. The big question is: are those feelings bad enough that you want to seek treatment for it?

I don't trust psychologists and psychiatrists (well, of course like any fucked up institution there might be some good people trying to truly help within it, but that's a tiny fraction of it so I wouldn't know how to find one of those) because they helped with deforming me in the first place, and torturing me, drugging me and gaslighting me when I tried to get proper treatment for my illness.
So, I don't really know what "seeking treatment" could mean for me, I guess I could consider some self help resources written by the few decent people in the field, but I don't really trust the field enough to interact with it more closely than that

I don't trust psychologists and psychiatrists (well, of course like any fucked up institution there might be some good people trying to truly help within it, but that's a tiny fraction of it so I wouldn't know how to find one of those) because they helped with deforming me in the first place, and torturing me, drugging me and gaslighting me when I tried to get proper treatment for my illness.
So, I don't really know what "seeking treatment" could mean for me, I guess I could consider some self help resources written by the few decent people in the field, but I don't really trust the field enough to interact with it more closely than that

Well I guess I have already been trying to do what I think works to improve a bit based on my own ideas, mainly just focusing more on improving my looks where possible than on the flaws I can't ever change or would need a lot of money to change, for the flaws that can be fixed with money I try to channel that into a reason to become more functional instead. It's hard to keep it up during the days where my reflection repulses me more than usual though, do you think there are resources that could teach me more useful strategies for this?

 

[Shroomsonmyhead]

I don't trust psychologists and psychiatrists (well, of course like any fucked up institution there might be some good people trying to truly help within it, but that's a tiny fraction of it so I wouldn't know how to find one of those) because they helped with deforming me in the first place, and torturing me, drugging me and gaslighting me when I tried to get proper treatment for my illness.
So, I don't really know what "seeking treatment" could mean for me, I guess I could consider some self help resources written by the few decent people in the field, but I don't really trust the field enough to interact with it more closely than that

Well I guess I have already been trying to do what I think works to improve a bit based on my own ideas, mainly just focusing more on improving my looks where possible than on the flaws I can't ever change or would need a lot of money to change, for the flaws that can be fixed with money I try to channel that into a reason to become more functional instead. It's hard to keep it up during the days where my reflection repulses me more than usual though, do you think there are resources that could teach me more useful strategies for this?

I've actually been wanting to compile a list of resources on this exact topic that have been useful for me personally… but all of those resources have been so spread out over the years that its been a nightmare trying to dig them all up again.

There's one in particular that I REALLY wanted to link to this thread, but I just can't find it anywhere, lmao. I'll post it here if I find it later.

I personally find that emotional observance (the act of 'observing' your emotions as if they are entirely detached from you) is often the most-consistent way to diminish people's feelings of self-disgust.

As an example, think about a strong disgust reaction to yourself as if it were the same as stubbing your toe really hard on a doorframe. Both are obviously super painful experiences, but the difference is that nobody feels like they are an unlovable person because they stubbed their toe on a doorframe. It's pain… but it's not pain that influences the way that we think about ourselves.

One can learn to view all emotions as similarly meaningless (not to say that it's easy). And through doing so, negative emotions and judgements in general actually become less and less common.

Feeling ugly is simply a form of social pain that your own body inflicts on you because it used to serve a strong survival purpose for our evolutionary ancestors… but nowadays it's pretty pointless. You can improve your looks without having to feel disgusted about those same looks, after all.

When it comes to emotional suffering, it's important to remember that our feelings are self-propagating. The less attention or respect we give to our own impulsive, biological self-judgements… the less those responses show up in first place.

As a final analogy:

Our own negative emotions are kind of like bears. The more often you feed/engage with them, the more they come back.

But if you can learn to just passively observe them as the meaningless psychological phenomena that they are… then the bears start to pop up less frequently. They just waddle their fat, hairy asses back into the forest until they decide to come bother you again tomorrow.

 

[livershapedbox]

I've actually been wanting to compile a list of resources on this exact topic that have been useful for me personally… but all of those resources have been so spread out over the years that its been a nightmare trying to dig them all up again.

There's one in particular that I REALLY wanted to link to this thread, but I just can't find it anywhere, lmao. I'll post it here if I find it later.

I personally find that emotional observance (the act of 'observing' your emotions as if they are entirely detached from you) is often the most-consistent way to diminish people's feelings of self-disgust.

As an example, think about a strong disgust reaction to yourself as if it were the same as stubbing your toe really hard on a doorframe. Both are obviously super painful experiences, but the difference is that nobody feels like they are an unlovable person because they stubbed their toe on a doorframe. It's pain… but it's not pain that influences the way that we think about ourselves.

One can learn to view all emotions as similarly meaningless (not to say that it's easy). And through doing so, negative emotions and judgements in general actually become less and less common.

Feeling ugly is simply a form of social pain that your own body inflicts on you because it used to serve a strong survival purpose for our evolutionary ancestors… but nowadays it's pretty pointless. You can improve your looks without having to feel disgusted about those same looks, after all.

When it comes to emotional suffering, it's important to remember that our feelings are self-propagating. The less attention or respect we give to our own impulsive, biological self-judgements… the less those responses show up in first place.

As a final analogy:

Our own negative emotions are kind of like bears. The more often you feed/engage with them, the more they come back.

But if you can learn to just passively observe them as the meaningless psychological phenomena that they are… then the bears start to pop up less frequently. They just waddle their fat, hairy asses back into the forest until they decide to come bother you again tomorrow.

Thank you, I do notice that when I pay a lot of attention to the thoughts they tend to just escalate a lot and not leave until forcibly interrupted by a strong distraction or falling asleep, so I guess it probably works as you say