Avyn

Avyn

Experienced
Jan 27, 2021
223
I have abusive parents and sadly I dont have a job to earn money with and leave. I have also left uni because i was forced to by them and cant focus/concentrate at all.
I thought about going to a therapist, either with my mom or without her. If a professional tells her the way she treats me is bad, she might listen. But high probably not because shes a narcissist and thinks shes always right.

If I do end up going to therapy by myself, can the therapist give me advice on how to leave? Maybe recommend me some shelters to go to or try to talk to my parents about their behavior? Or will he simply tell me "Oh the reason you have this mental illness and feel bad is because your parents are abusive, you need to get away from them", and nothing else?
 
BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,747
In my experience a therapist will never say anything that you haven't thought of yourself, I would rather spend my money elsewhere. The exception is if someone wants to pay for a rent-a-friend. Might be worth a shot to go with your parent and see if they are open to changing their own behaviour even if it seems unlikely at the moment.
 
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Tackingintothewind

Tackingintothewind

Mage
Mar 2, 2021
530
You could try samaritans if finding shelter is what you want
 
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luten

work, love, and learn
Feb 25, 2021
507
Depends what you mean by abuse. I myself went to drs, therapist when I still lived with my parent, they did talk to him, everyone did, abuse did not stop. Had to get a court order. If this is serious, and against the law in your country, then a court would likely ask for a report from your therapist, and a social worker, most likely social worker. Of-course, you would want to try and resolve the problem in a diplomatic way first. Social workers should be able to help you with that.
 
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LunarPyotr

LunarPyotr

Похорони меня возле МКАДа
Jul 4, 2020
495
If they did that all the time then in my opinion even a therapist won't be useful in that case. The best option would be to just search for a new place to live instead of sticking with them.
That's at least what I done, found a flat where I lived with some guy we split the costs for the rent and the yearly electricity/water costs.
That's how I escaped from my abusive parents..
 
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LittleBabyNothing

LittleBabyNothing

Suffering Autointoxification
Nov 22, 2020
432
A therapist doesn't typically advice but guide you through talking to make sense yourself. Not all are good, some more harmful, there are decent ones, access.and finding them is variable. Therapy may help in how you manage your relationship with your parents but it won't change them.
Charities or other organisations can help with housing and moving forwards. Really depends on where you are for the best place to turn to.
 
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N

noaccount

Enlightened
Oct 26, 2019
1,099
Some therapists might offer ideas for this. You are over 18 I think, so they wouldn't report anything to social services, the way they might if a child/teen told them they were being abused. I'd definitely recommend going alone first and "feeling out" a counselor you want to talk to - how much they care about justice, human rights - a bad therapist, with your parent in the room, could just enable / embolden the abusive parent more. A good one could support you in setting boundaries and getting away from the bad living situation. I'm sorry this is happening. It's not your fault.
 

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