Calling crisis hotlines and feeling WORSE after

[Tegan_sky]

Am I the only one who has experienced this? Saturday night was horrid, I was on the phone with three crisis hotlines, including the National Suicide Hotline, they were so useless and I felt "even they can't help, I really am fucked up," I hung up on them. Then I was afraid they would trace my phone number and the police would show up. It never happened thankfully. Last night I was not in a good place either, but I said to myself, "Tonight, just doze off in front of some videos or listen to music, don't make the mistake of calling hotlines like last night." And things were better. I looked at my cell phone call log for Saturday night, and see how late I was making those hotline calls, remembering how it felt, and sort of shudder.

Didn't they find Marilyn Monroe with her phone still in her hand, or at least her phone was off the hook when they found her?

 

[AnnaJaspers]

Common experience. Pro-lifers work those lines, I wouldn't expect much at all. Better off making an online friend here who you can call when feeling desperate.

 

[Futility]

You're not alone there, I called a suicide hotline when I was younger, on two separate occasions as I needed someone to vent to, I am appalled that I got to listen to the same script twice.
I was expecting someone who understood what I was going through, instead they kept following a script, they kept using my own words to create the illusion of them actually understanding and listening.
In between it was like they were digging for data to easily identify me and where I lived, I didn't like that at all.
It all felt so robotic that by the time I hung up, I was feeling so bad I just wanted to throw up.

I will never call a hotline, ever again.

 

[Aliaiactaest]

I've found that these hotlines are mostly useless. They seem to make use of a technique called active listening. Whatever you say, they repeat back to you and say, "it must be tough." But they aren't really present, it seems.
Must say, I don't like the term "pro lifer" as it is used so disparagingly. It's not a war of us against them or anything.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

Common experience. Pro-lifers work those lines, I wouldn't expect much at all. Better off making an online friend here who you can call when feeling desperate.

I feel much better talking to my SS friends than I ever did talking to so-called mental healthcare professionals or suicide hotline workers.

 

[HGL91]

Am I the only one who has experienced this? Saturday night was horrid, I was on the phone with three crisis hotlines, including the National Suicide Hotline, they were so useless and I felt "even they can't help, I really am fucked up," I hung up on them. Then I was afraid they would trace my phone number and the police would show up. It never happened thankfully. Last night I was not in a good place either, but I said to myself, "Tonight, just doze off in front of some videos or listen to music, don't make the mistake of calling hotlines like last night." And things were better. I looked at my cell phone call log for Saturday night, and see how late I was making those hotline calls, remembering how it felt, and sort of shudder.

Didn't they find Marilyn Monroe with her phone still in her hand, or at least her phone was off the hook when they found her?

Jeez. I grew up in Los Angeles and didn't know that about Marilyn Monroe. Not surprised. Seems like suicide occurs during desperation.

 

[pole]

many that work those hotlines aren't genuinely understanding and willing to care.

to truly care, id want someone to be neutral. understand both sides including my suicidal ideations, not dismiss them as something stupid.

not just pour toxic positivity and blindless positivity by telling me things are gonna get better, oh i understand, all these things people think we wanna hear. we dont wanna be heard in anyway, we just wanna be UNDERSTOOD.

same type of people who blindlessly pour these blindless positivity onto others, are literally the reason why people hesitate to open up to people because there scared they wont be understood genuinly, but at risk in being used or taken advantage of.

 

[Codieb1]

I feel like hotlines only really exist for people who aren't genuinely wanting to commit suicide, and are just sad, looking for a distraction. These are the kinds of people where those basic "you have so much to live for" lines actually work.

 

[anteater]

Not me, but I read and heard people talking about these hotlines, not even one good review so far.

 

[Empty Smile]

I've heard of those hotlines calling the police and having them go to people's homes after they call.

I'd rather sit on the sidewalk and tell my problems to a week old dog turd than those bastards.

 

[EmptySteph62]

I tried calling 2 in one night once and literally got their answering machines asking me to "leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible" so.... yeah they're definitely not something I would recommend

 

[JoeFailure]

I don't understand getting mad at the suicide hotline people though. Most are volunteers.

The truth is ultimately that unless somebody has actually been down that hole, they're not going to understand someone that's suicidal. I don't blame them for it, I just don't think someone can really get it unless they've experienced it.

 

[Darkhaven]

Personally, i would never be able to call a crisis hotline. I just find it very embarassing to just sit down and tell these people what i'm feeling and what not.
And of course, i also know in advance that it won't help me one bit.
This doesn't mean that i'm not suffering or that my depression is manageable. I have been under a major depression for a full year and 2 months and counting.
I just don't like to share it with these hotline people or any neurotipical person.
That's where this forum comes into play for me.

 

[Ruffian]

I've gotten some decent advice in my neck of the woods, but I know her hours and neck of the words. She gave me her name and hours, and I am free to request her. She was the person who got me to consider I may have BPD, although My symptoms indicate I have a mild I think about how I fit the the textbook case for a therapist playing out transference and counterferance while doing the same thing to myself. The funny thin is, she got in the way of healing that. In a way, the new therapist became my new, healthier me. He validates my love and his his part and his part of the family.

Meanwhile my mom's side meant you had certain things so you had failing circumstances ok don't blue collar bill.. good by middle class, partuclar when it was middle class.

 

[Baskol1]

Even if they care, there is probably just too many callers. So they use just the script.

 

[k75]

Yeah my experiences with those have not been very good. I called the suicide hotline once, and the wait time was over an hour and I ended up just hanging up.

So I used the chat line where you can message instead of call, and it also had a super long freaking wait time, and when I finally got someone to talk to, they were very obviously just reading from a script and giving me canned responses. And they got me worked up to where I was super upset and it was obvious I was upset, and I told them I was just going to go and they were like, "okay have a great night" and didn't even act like they realized they were letting someone in serious crisis just abruptly end the conversation and that might not be an okay thing. I almost killed myself that night after that, but something happened.

I'm pretty sure the only way those things work for anyone is that the wait times are so stupidly long, by the time you get someone on the other end, you've already calmed down naturally because you're bored to death.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Same here. I've never felt remotely better after calling a so-called crisis hotline. I feel condescended to, trivialized, or threatened. But never helped.

 

[CaptainT]

Writing / venting / DMing on here seems way more therapeutic. People won't tell you to CTB or not. They'll just listen and chip in with real world examples from their life. I'm amazed how much better I feel after talking to people on here who have actually tried the methods I'm doing and know why.

As someone else said, very few of us want to die on here. We just want to stop the suffering.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Am I the only one who has experienced this? Saturday night was horrid, I was on the phone with three crisis hotlines, including the National Suicide Hotline, they were so useless and I felt "even they can't help, I really am fucked up," I hung up on them. ... Didn't they find Marilyn Monroe with her phone still in her hand, or at least her phone was off the hook when they found her?

I called suicide hotlines, like all the advice we get instructs us, from my freshman year in college and then again throughout my adult life. Never, ever did I feel even marginally better after. And usually, I felt much, much worse. It's frustrating and infuriating that professionals don't care to listen to us when we report this--and there are a LOT of us who do. <Hug>

 

[hypo666]

I think I have gone beyond such hotlines now.... Iam too far gone really to be helped. My life is now destined to get worse and worse. Things I have no control over really. It's the system of social care and mental health in the UK. Both services have been cut and hacked to pieces but if they had not been, It's just the stigma that surrounds mental illness. Especially the type of mental illness which isn't ,woke, like say personality disorders or schizophrenia. There has been a gradual deteroriation in my mental health over the years and it is going to end badly. I can no longer call the samaritans or any hotline because some of my thoughts as well as harming myself involve harming others, these 'others' destroyed my mind,destroyed my soul, but I understand the samaritans can't just ignore what I say I doubt and it's possible the police would come to my front door 'for a chat'.

I would say though when I used to call the samaritans not all the volunteers were so bad and I would say 50 percent of the time I felt better, I got a few clowns but I simply hung up on them and phoned again. I liked the fact I could unburden myself and none of what I said would come back on me,talking to mental health professionals face to face is much more difficult for me. I will always remember phoning the samaritans and speaking to this man who sounded like he came from the house of lords. He spoke in a very upper class oldfashioned way that has really died out in Britain today ,but I felt strangely comforted by him. We talked for hours. I was the one mainly talking but he didn't just listen he had understanding and a kindness. I even talked to him about my anger and it didn't bother him. I told him about what happened at various points in my childhood and he told me what he thought of the vermin who made me into the shell Iam today. Possibly because of what did happen to me, I find it hard to get on with men normally but I just clicked with him and when I got off the phone for a while I felt calmer and more positive, it didn't last but what did last was the positive experience I had with a man.

 

[TAW122]

With all that others have said, I pretty much share the same sentiments as well. There is little or anything 'helpful' to the individual that comes out of these hotlines. In fact, it can even be dangerous to call one as if they suspect someone in imminent danger to self or others, they will send authorities, police, and/or medical professionals to the person's dwelling and take the person away (usually the person doesn't have a choice, if they refuse then they will be taken by force). Also, the whole thing about involuntary commitment/psych holds is disgusting but that's another topic for another thread.

I'd say this forum and our site is the best support that we have about genuine suicidality and honesty. This is because this forum is a place where we can talk about suicide without censorship, any judgment, and/or pro-life people coming in spewing platitudes, proselytizing and/or pushing their values onto us. Furthermore, we are able to discuss methods without restriction, unlike other forums and places where method discussion is prohibited. That alone is a big help in helping us feel empowered and able to cope with life's rigors. In fact, when I obtained a method, I felt some sort of ability to be at peace, even in shitty times because I know that I have a way should I decide to do so, for any reason, at any time.