chadguana42069
New Member
- Jan 30, 2021
- 1
For a little context, I've been contemplating how to peacefully end my life for a long time, almost half my entire life. But I made not head way into what to do about it until joining this forum.
I was writing in my notebook tonight about emotional insecurity because I just learned something about it from a YouTube video. Essentially, a lot of the results of emotional insecurity are needing to be appreciated/reassured all the time, and that gets in the way of relationships, which gets in the way of success. I've been so emotionally insecure for so long that I didn't even realize it until the last few years or so. I'm almost 30, which depresses me, because I already have debilitating health problems that make my quality of life difficult to bear. And, in light of all that, I keep hearing that you need to have emotional security to have any kind of success. So, I figure, if I'm extremely emotionally insecure, and it's going to be hard to work towards emotional security and success, especially with the health problems I have, then I should find a way to end my life in a few months.
And thinking that has filled me with a lot of peace. I look forward to planning my days, and only doing what i really want to do with my last moments. I look forward to talking to what people I can for the last time if and when I can. I look forward to not having to deal with these thoughts and problems of my mind and body anymore. And I look forward to actually feeling like my moments have value, because I can make them precious again.
I apologize for how this may come off or if this isn't the appropriate place for this. I just have nobody to say this to that won't try to shame me or convince me out of it. Thank you if you read this/allowed this here!
I was writing in my notebook tonight about emotional insecurity because I just learned something about it from a YouTube video. Essentially, a lot of the results of emotional insecurity are needing to be appreciated/reassured all the time, and that gets in the way of relationships, which gets in the way of success. I've been so emotionally insecure for so long that I didn't even realize it until the last few years or so. I'm almost 30, which depresses me, because I already have debilitating health problems that make my quality of life difficult to bear. And, in light of all that, I keep hearing that you need to have emotional security to have any kind of success. So, I figure, if I'm extremely emotionally insecure, and it's going to be hard to work towards emotional security and success, especially with the health problems I have, then I should find a way to end my life in a few months.
And thinking that has filled me with a lot of peace. I look forward to planning my days, and only doing what i really want to do with my last moments. I look forward to talking to what people I can for the last time if and when I can. I look forward to not having to deal with these thoughts and problems of my mind and body anymore. And I look forward to actually feeling like my moments have value, because I can make them precious again.
I apologize for how this may come off or if this isn't the appropriate place for this. I just have nobody to say this to that won't try to shame me or convince me out of it. Thank you if you read this/allowed this here!
