Buspirone

[Life_and_Death]

day 3. day 1 not much to talk about. day 2...the voices stopped. however they came back by bedtime and my thought was "i want another one". im only taking 2.5mg once a day at the moment so that thought concerned me. day 3.....currently not much to say, its still working. my thoughts are still quiet, but im scared that once it wears off again im going to want more again. YAY I GOT ADDICTED TO A DRUG YOU "CANT" GET ADDICTED TO!!!!! ok im not addicted to the "drug" so much as im addicted to my brain not pestering me, which basically works out to the same thing. idk what to do. its the first drug thats actually done anything. i never even had a chance with the other ones because i had really bad side effects. but i have a feeling that ^, this, isnt a good way to live either and i cant just keep taking it to avoid that, thats just feeding the problem. (the way this OP is going....it sounds like the drug wore off.....FUUUUUUUUCK MEEEEEEE!!!!!!)

 

[Miss_Takes]

Perhaps a break from the voices is what you need most right now

 

[Life_and_Death]

Perhaps a break from the voices is what you need most right now

well, yeah, but feeding addictions isnt healthy

 

[Miss_Takes]

Depends on your definition of addiction .... obsession has the potential for harm of course.
I guess its about weighing up the pros and cons for now.
I can only imagine how exhausting it must be to constantly have to deal with 'voices'. I have insomnia (not currently but for over a decade) and I know that while I struggle with medications and addiction factors into that relief from the 'exhaustion' provides space for clarity and planning.
You know you best though.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Depends on your definition of addiction .... obsession has the potential for harm of course.
I guess its about weighing up the pros and cons for now.
I can only imagine how exhausting it must be to constantly have to deal with 'voices'. I have insomnia (not currently but for over a decade) and I know that while I struggle with medications and addiction factors into that relief from the 'exhaustion' provides space for clarity and planning.
You know you best though.

currently dealing with a weed addiction......i mean yeah but....it doesnt feel right. it feels wrong.

also yeah insomnia sucks. i have periods where im fine, where i cant sleep and where i sleep too much. i need one of everything lol "what disorder do you want to try out today?" oh whatevers good with you, brain. i guess, do i even have a choice lol (yep their back, hi how are you)

 

[CuddleHug]

I wouldn't call it an addiction if it is beneficial for your health and something you need to function. I understand what you are trying to say, but a medication that is helping you is more of a dependency, not a harmful addiction. Some drugs can be habit-forming and addictive, yes, but if the benefit is greater than the risks, it is usually worth taking it.

If anything, you might actually be addicted to your illness if it tries to convince you to not take the medicine. Don't listen to that, you deserve better. Give it a chance, discover what life can be life without the voices

 

[Life_and_Death]

I wouldn't call it an addiction if it is beneficial for your health and something you need to function. I understand what you are trying to say, but a medication that is helping you is more of a dependency, not a harmful addiction. Some drugs can be habit-forming and addictive, yes, but if the benefit is greater than the risks, it is usually worth taking it.

If anything, you might actually be addicted to your illness if it tries to convince you to not take the medicine. Don't listen to that, you deserve better. Give it a chance, discover what life can be life without the voices

it just physically feels......i cant explain it

 

[CuddleHug]

it just physically feels......i cant explain it

Considering your history with medications giving you horrible side effects and fear of getting dependent on any kind of substance, it's not strange at all that you are having doubts and feeling uneasy about this one. Obviously I can't give medical advice, but I think it's important to give your body enough time to adjust to any new medication. Often that includes feeling bad or worse than usual for the first couple of weeks. The fact that you seem to get such a noticeable effect already should be a good indication that you have found one that works. You can do this.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Considering your history with medications giving you horrible side effects and fear of getting dependent on any kind of substance, it's not strange at all that you are having doubts and feeling uneasy about this one. Obviously I can't give medical advice, but I think it's important to give your body enough time to adjust to any new medication. Often that includes feeling bad or worse than usual for the first couple of weeks. The fact that you seem to get such a noticeable effect already should be a good indication that you have found one that works. You can do this.

thats kind of the problem. i like that im ok. which i know sounds stupid but that ok feeling makes me want more of it that im not suppose to be taking right now

 

[CuddleHug]

thats kind of the problem. i like that im ok. which i know sounds stupid but that ok feeling makes me want more of it that im not suppose to be taking right now

Taking more doesn't necessarily mean it will work better right away. Can you try sticking to the initial dose over the weekend and talk to your doctor on Monday? It's possible you may need a higher dose, but it's always better to do it under medical supervision. I know you know that, but I want to repeat it because it's important.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Taking more doesn't necessarily mean it will work better right away. Can you try sticking to the initial dose over the weekend and talk to your doctor on Monday? It's possible you may need a higher dose, but it's always better to do it under medical supervision. I know you know that, but I want to repeat it because it's important.

constantly being medication just doesnt feel good or right. (i always told myself when i was younger that i would never be fake like that.)

 

[CuddleHug]

constantly being medication just doesnt feel good or right. (i always told myself when i was younger that i would never be fake like that.)

If you had chronic uncurable pain, would you deny painkillers for the same reason? Mental illness is just as serious as physical illness. If you can live a better life on medications, do you really think you're being "fake" for taking it?

I don't want to push my views on you, so I think that's my last comment for now. You don't need to listen to me, I just hope you can find another perspective and decide what is best for you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

If you had chronic uncurable pain, would you deny painkillers for the same reason? Mental illness is just as serious as physical illness. If you can live a better life on medications, do you really think you're being "fake" for taking it?

I don't want to push my views on you, so I think that's my last comment for now. You don't need to listen to me, I just hope you can find another perspective and decide what is best for you.

no its ok, this actually just turned really good. i agree with you but dont you think that my brain is a little different then my other body parts? my other body parts dont exactly control everything

 

[Lostandlooking]

Chronic pain is actually something that can be controlled by the brain for a large part. I have fibromyalgia. The experts say there is no actual physical damage to my body. It's just that the brain keeps sending pain signals. My pain signal is dysregulated.
My point is; you don't have to make a distinct separation between body and brain. I don't know if that's helpful. I'm just glad that you found something that seems to be working in some way. But also understand how it's difficult with the experiences that you've been through. As others have said; do whatever feels best for you. Sending you hugs.

also; there's really no fake or real when it comes to these things. It's all valid.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Chronic pain is actually something that can be controlled by the brain for a large part. I have fibromyalgia. The experts say there is no actual physical damage to my body. It's just that the brain keeps sending pain signals. My pain signal is dysregulated.
My point is; you don't have to make a distinct separation between body and brain. I don't know if that's helpful. I'm just glad that you found something that seems to be working in some way. But also understand how it's difficult with the experiences that you've been through. As others have said; do whatever feels best for you. Sending you hugs.

im not sure what feels best.....what you guys are saying makes sense but it feels wrong
if it matters, in 2 weeks im going to go on 2x a day doses
which i guess would only be achieving what were talking about

 

[Life_and_Death]

anyone reading this i thought you might be interested in knowing that i continued to talk about it with my friends and came to this conclusion.

i think i know what the right answer is but im really scared that its going to be the wrong answer and theres only one way to find out.
clearly the answer is stick to the plan of 1x a day for 2 weeks 2x a day for 2 weeks, then see how i feel if at any point i change my mind and feel that this is a bad idea i have a good support group now that im sure will help me with whatever i need.

ok pros i feel like im making real headway with recovery now (just not right this second basing on how i remember i felt earlier) i didnt even think about having a joint yesterday. well ok once just before bed but said its to late then didnt care. i havent really been feeling suicidal (ok once for a littler bit earlier when the pill thing was stressing me out i did cry a little and think it would be easier if i was dead but thats a huge improvement from always thinking it) which brings me to my next point. it actually does its job. it wore off a while ago and i got stressed out and cried - anxiety - antianxiety medication. so if its working, why not take it.....right? i mean thats what i wanted....to be ok

 

[Miss_Takes]

Well done you!