Venting Burnt Out Of Everything

[RoyBlight]

Yeah the meds really messed me up this time. I wake up everyday writhing in pain, I just have anxiety 24/7. I don't wanna eat, I don't wanna go outside, I don't wanna play video games, I don't wanna watch videos, I just want to perish. I don't think I'm gonna ctb tho, not... really my style I think... I'd rather just... rot in bed, which is currently what's happening...

I take these stupid meds to cure my anxiety and depression so that I can I don't know, be a normal person, go to school, go to work or whatever... instead they make me worse. Instead of helping with my social anxiety, they cause anxiety indoors as well, which means anxiety 24/7. I just don't fucking get it, I'm so fucking sick of these stupid pills not doing what they're supposed to, hell even worse, doing the bloody opposite of what they're supposed to do...

I don't bloody know... maybe I'll see a psychiatrist and ask if I can try lithium, about the only thing I haven't tried so far...

Yeah I'm in pain. Whenever I try to get better, I get worse instead. I should really just accept my fate and give up on trying to get better and just rot in my room...

 

[Jdieiejdjaow]

So sorry you're feeling this way. Taking medication prescribed to ease our symptoms and discovering they're only making it worse must be a tremendous disappointment that can only leave us with frustration and anger.

Trauma often shows up as a symptom of depression and/or anxiety. Have you tried reaching out to a trauma specialist mental health professional to team up in your approach to your psychiatrist with regards to the medication? If you can cope and get well in therapy without the medication (by doing somatic therapy, for example), with time, would it be better for you? Alternatively, there's no shame in taking medication to allow us to get our heads out of the water, though we need to follow up with professional care to get skills to cope better.

 

[사람이 없어]

Definitely ask her to change it up for something that hopefully works better for you, or look for another method to help yourself.
Last meds I tried some years ago gave me 24/7 panic attacks/severe anxiety to the point of being disabled beyond being able to lay in bed or on my best days seem as if I had an ongoing epileptic attack just sitting on a chair because I was convulsing so much.
I quit them after that, having had tried many, many, many other pills prior to that who also didn't work on me, and figured there was no point.
Eventually found some other ways to feel better, but it did take me years of reading, listening, trying things, educating myself and gradually improving to get to that place, sadly. No magic pill or quick fix, and I still suffer a lot but that's because of society, sadly, which idk how to overcome, but when I don't get pressured I generally feel good.
So I would say there's hope, and I do hope you can overcome it one day.

So sorry you're feeling this way. Taking medication prescribed to ease our symptoms and discovering they're only making it worse must be a tremendous disappointment that can only leave us with frustration and anger.

Trauma often shows up as a symptom of depression and/or anxiety. Have you tried reaching out to a trauma specialist mental health professional to team up in your approach to your psychiatrist with regards to the medication? If you can cope and get well in therapy without the medication (by doing somatic therapy, for example), with time, would it be better for you? Alternatively, there's no shame in taking medication to allow us to get our heads out of the water, though we need to follow up with professional care to get skills to cope better.

Could be trauma or things like autism and ADHD as well, or all of them combined.. Definitely mimics a ton of those symptoms when you live in a world that's not made for you; trauma often caused by e.g. being autistic as well so it all just compounds into this one big ball of negative energy.

"Depression and anxiety" in my view are just symptoms of something else, and finding out what the cause is, is the real objective, not just try to mask them with pills as is often the help you get.

 

[KillingPain267]

Yeah the meds really messed me up this time. I wake up everyday writhing in pain, I just have anxiety 24/7. I don't wanna eat, I don't wanna go outside, I don't wanna play video games, I don't wanna watch videos, I just want to perish. I don't think I'm gonna ctb tho, not... really my style I think... I'd rather just... rot in bed, which is currently what's happening...

I take these stupid meds to cure my anxiety and depression so that I can I don't know, be a normal person, go to school, go to work or whatever... instead they make me worse. Instead of helping with my social anxiety, they cause anxiety indoors as well, which means anxiety 24/7. I just don't fucking get it, I'm so fucking sick of these stupid pills not doing what they're supposed to, hell even worse, doing the bloody opposite of what they're supposed to do...

I don't bloody know... maybe I'll see a psychiatrist and ask if I can try lithium, about the only thing I haven't tried so far...

Yeah I'm in pain. Whenever I try to get better, I get worse instead. I should really just accept my fate and give up on trying to get better and just rot in my room...

What are the meds?