Help Bullying.

[Josh007]

Hello guys Gentleman3 here.
Bullying has been an issue thought my life. Ive been bullied for as long as I can remember. Fortunately now I actually defend myself. However I still have issues with the trauma; shame, flashbacks, lack of social skills, and panic attacks.
I would like to hear about your experiences and advice on dealing with its aftermath.

 

[Nymph]

Sorry to hear that, I've also been bullied but not anymore really. Now I'm just being bullied by life. In kindergarten, elementary school, middle school and high school I got bullied because of my race, looks and interests. I won't ever forget it, it's burned into my memory. Now I have forever low self esteem, anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Wish I was home schooled

 

[Good4Nothing]

I was bullied at school and at home. I have low self esteem, almost no confidence, and debilitating depression because of it to this day. I'm sorry you're going through it. At least you've begun defending yourself, that's a step in the right direction.

 

[Josh007]

I was bullied at school and at home. I have low self esteem, almost no confidence, and debilitating depression because of it to this day. I'm sorry you're going through it. At least you've begun defending yourself, that's a step in the right direction.

Thank you

Sorry to hear that, I've also been bullied but not anymore really. Now I'm just being bullied by life. In kindergarten, elementary school, middle school and high school I got bullied because of my race, looks and interests. I won't ever forget it, it's burned into my memory. Now I have forever low self esteem, anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Wish I was home schooled

I'm sorry to hear that you were bullied.
Hope things get better for you.

 

[Donk]

I was bullied a lot as a child. I'm a grown man yet that little kid who was bullied is still inside me. It left me with serious anxiety and depression and I have to take meds so i can continue to function normally. No meds or therapy will heal my scar though. I often wonder what my life would be like if I was raised under better circumstances. Imagine actually loving yourself and loving life. wouldn't that be something.

 

[timf]

Bullies are a little like wild dogs. It is impossible to reason with them, but a wack on the nose with a rolled up newspaper tends to communicate effectively.

There should be no shame in coming to understand this slowly. We live in a time when "whacking" a bully on the nose is seen in itself as wrong. Not that blame is very useful, but it can be shared by parents and schools for failing to help a child understand how to survive in the social jungle into which they are thrust.

 

[AutoTap]

Bullies are a little like wild dogs. It is impossible to reason with them, but a wack on the nose with a rolled up newspaper tends to communicate effectively.

There should be no shame in coming to understand this slowly. We live in a time when "whacking" a bully on the nose is seen in itself as wrong. Not that blame is very useful, but it can be shared by parents and schools for failing to help a child understand how to survive in the social jungle into which they are thrust.

Yeh you said this really well.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I was bullied at school. Thing is, this idea that if you stand up to a bully then he/she will back down because they are secretly afraid...not true. This guy was pretty tough.
After way too much of this, one day I decided to stand up to him regardless of the consequences. I was sick all day from fear leading up to it. I was just a geeky kid and he was bigger, stronger, faster and perfectly willing to hurt people.
Then at break, I talked to him as usual and was ready to stand my ground when the abuse started, fight back and suffer the violence. He was suddenly as nice as pie, with no input from me. For some unknown reason, the months of abuse had stopped on that day and he never behaved that way again. I'd done nothing to make this change happen.
It felt like the universe had stepped in.
However, to this day, I wonder if that was a good thing or not. I'd made my decision and I was prepared to stand my ground and take the inevitable consequences. But I was deprived of that opportunity.

 

[Josh007]

I was bullied at school. Thing is, this idea that if you stand up to a bully then he/she will back down because they are secretly afraid...not true. This guy was pretty tough.
After way too much of this, one day I decided to stand up to him regardless of the consequences. I was sick all day from fear leading up to it. I was just a geeky kid and he was bigger, stronger, faster and perfectly willing to hurt people.
Then at break, I talked to him as usual and was ready to stand my ground when the abuse started, fight back and suffer the violence. He was suddenly as nice as pie, with no input from me. For some unknown reason, the months of abuse had stopped on that day and he never behaved that way again. I'd done nothing to make this change happen.
It felt like the universe had stepped in.
However, to this day, I wonder if that was a good thing or not. I'd made my decision and I was prepared to stand my ground and take the inevitable consequences. But I was deprived of that opportunity.

I did not see that coming.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I did not see that coming.

LOL neither did I!

 

[grungeCat]

I've been bullied my entire life and yeah... actually I wanted to describe it a little bit but recalling this is just too painful. Not today, I haven't dealed with that yet. Just be informed that you're not the only one bullied here.

 

[AutoTap]

I've been bullied my entire life and yeah... actually I wanted to describe it a little bit but recalling this is just too painful. Not today, I haven't dealed with that yet. Just be informed that you're not the only one bullied here.

Damn, I just want to say I'm sorry and if you need someone to talk to my conversation is open

 

[WornOutLife]

Good for you! Defending yourself is the first step to peace.
People tried to bully me in the past but I always stood up for myself and they ended up being kinda scared of me and ignoring me. It was really hard to make friends. I only got 2 at school.

About the trauma, yes, it's real. I think about my past all the time. Memories, not only the bullying ones, are haunting me day by day. What do I do? Try to have fun with hobbies but in the end I'll probably CTB next year.

 

[MaThomp]

was bullied for the majority of my life, don't think I can ever forget every moment of it, can visualise it in my head and yeah. Bet I don't know how much it has but I bet it's fucked me up as a person and my mental a whole bunch. It kind of has been going away though, I've managed to make some new starts with college and whatnot, though that's gone to shit and I'm going to try and start over again with a job maybe or new college.

The way I've delt with it though is I've sometimes pretended to be a different person, personality wise if you get what I mean, I'd keep telling myself in my head. I dun give a fuck and like trynna pretend to be an 'alpha' or something like that.

Though bullying isn't really the thing that bothers me that much anymore I don't doubt that it helped the amount of shit I feel.
Glad to hear you're defending yourself and I wish I could of done that. though standing in the football fields doing nothing while being kicked gave me something to do other than just walking around lonely af and whatnot lol

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I've been bullied my entire life and yeah... actually I wanted to describe it a little bit but recalling this is just too painful. Not today, I haven't dealed with that yet. Just be informed that you're not the only one bullied here.

Gotta admit, I found writing the post I added somewhat more uncomfortable than many of my posts on this site that are, at least on the surface of it, even more personal. And mine was just schoolyard stuff; there is far worse bullying and abuse, including legitimized workplace bullying that can eat away at a person's resolve. I've had that too, but luckily I had the moxie to outwit such people. Or to be more accurate, allow them to outwit themselves. Still, for some reason I find it actually difficult to discuss too.

 

[sadworld]

I was bullied at school. Thing is, this idea that if you stand up to a bully then he/she will back down because they are secretly afraid...not true. This guy was pretty tough.
After way too much of this, one day I decided to stand up to him regardless of the consequences. I was sick all day from fear leading up to it. I was just a geeky kid and he was bigger, stronger, faster and perfectly willing to hurt people.
Then at break, I talked to him as usual and was ready to stand my ground when the abuse started, fight back and suffer the violence. He was suddenly as nice as pie, with no input from me. For some unknown reason, the months of abuse had stopped on that day and he never behaved that way again. I'd done nothing to make this change happen.
It felt like the universe had stepped in.
However, to this day, I wonder if that was a good thing or not. I'd made my decision and I was prepared to stand my ground and take the inevitable consequences. But I was deprived of that opportunity.

Interesting. I guess I should have done that too because I would be dead if I did lol.

 

[puppy9]

Interesting. I guess I should have done that too because I would be dead if I did lol.

I'll punch em for you.

 

[Squiddy]

I was bullied some in elementary school, horrifically in middle school, and some in high school. I was called all kinds of names like a bitch, asshole, monkey etc. told to go die in a hole, had rumors spread about me and more horrible things. The aftermath was homicidal thoughts (which I no longer have, but if they were to die, I wouldn't feel much), suicidal thoughts, BPD, self harm and PTSD.

 

[Josh007]

I was bullied some in elementary school, horrifically in middle school, and some in high school. I was called all kinds of names like a bitch, asshole, monkey etc. told to go die in a hole, had rumors spread about me and more horrible things. The aftermath was homicidal thoughts (which I no longer have, but if they were to die, I wouldn't feel much), suicidal thoughts, BPD, self harm and PTSD.

I'm really sorry.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm really sorry.

I still get nightmares about it, but they're not as much thanks to Prazosin

 

[Panna]

Making friends is the best way to deal with bullies. I've posted this one before, but I had a friend in the football jock who would copy my homework instead of doing his. I also had a guy named curtis who would bully me and mess with me any way he could. It ended with football jock following him to the local mcdonalds and warning him to leave me alone. He swore at him, and got his arm broken in exchange.

 

[Josh007]

I still get nightmares about it, but they're not as much thanks to Prazosin

Glad to know you're doing better. :)

Making friends is the best way to deal with bullies. I've posted this one before, but I had a friend in the football jock who would copy my homework instead of doing his. I also had a guy named curtis who would bully me and mess with me any way he could. It ended with football jock following him to the local mcdonalds and warning him to leave me alone. He swore at him, and got his arm broken in exchange.

Good advise. Thanks for sharing.
R.I.P The bully XD

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Hello guys Gentleman3 here.
Bullying has been an issue thought my life. Ive been bullied for as long as I can remember. Fortunately now I actually defend myself. However I still have issues with the trauma; shame, flashbacks, lack of social skills, and panic attacks.
I would like to hear about your experiences and advice on dealing with its aftermath.

Hi Gentlemen3, l was Bullied all the way through secondary school (13-17yrs) on the last day of school l mustered up the courage and beat 7 generations of granny out of the bastard and made him cry in front of most of the school, Do l feel any guilt "NO" Do l feel any Remorse "NO" Do l regret it had to happen "Yes" ! No one should be pushed to those extreme's But he had it coming so he got it and then some!

 

[Phill]

Never had bullying issues at school, but I was bullied for a short time in a job I had when I was 19. I didn't know how to deal with that situation, so I ended up punching the bully in the face. The bullying stopped. I know it wasn't the best choice, but it worked out for me.

I have to say, though, it was hell to me, and I had to face it only for a couple of weeks. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for people who are/were bullied constantly in their lives.

 

[Tired_Tired]

Life is unfair and complicated. Human nature is evil.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I feel you. I was bullied for my entire time in school, approximately 8~ years. My entire time in school was filled with verbal and physical assault and I couldn't defend myself either because I was weak, shy and small. It also caused severe suicidality at the age of 14, it was the first time in my life that I ever wanted to kill myself to escape the torture. The suicidality never left again and remained a part of my personality, so to speak. 11 years later, I'm still suffering the consequences of all the bullying. I'm experiencing strong social anxiety (which is diagnosed), I don't have any friends and I have isolated myself completely. I'm an outcast. I can't trust people anymore and I have a general distain for humans. I've been depressed my entire life. It's probably one of the major reasons for all my mental suffering and why I'm still suicidal so many years later. Truly a traumatic period of my life, I never want to go back to that.

 

[Josh007]

I feel you. I was bullied for my entire time in school, approximately 8~ years. My entire time in school were filled with verbal and physical assault and I couldn't defend myself either because I was weak and small. It also caused severe suicidality at the age of 14, it the first time in my life that I ever wanted to kill myself to escape the torture. The suicidality never left again and remained a part of my personality, so to speak. 11 years later, I'm still suffering the consequences of all the bullying. I'm experiencing strong social anxiety (which is diagnosed), I don't have any friends and I have isolated myself completely. I'm an outcast. I've been depressed my entire life. It's probably one of the major reasons for all my mental suffering and why I'm still suicidal so many years later. Truly a traumatic period of my life, I never want to go back to that.

I'm really sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I feel you. I was bullied for my entire time in school, approximately 8~ years. My entire time in school were filled with verbal and physical assault and I couldn't defend myself either because I was weak and small. It also caused severe suicidality at the age of 14, it the first time in my life that I ever wanted to kill myself to escape the torture. The suicidality never left again and remained a part of my personality, so to speak. 11 years later, I'm still suffering the consequences of all the bullying. I'm experiencing strong social anxiety (which is diagnosed), I don't have any friends and I have isolated myself completely. I'm an outcast. I can't trust people anymore and I have a general distain for humans. I've been depressed my entire life. It's probably one of the major reasons for all my mental suffering and why I'm still suicidal so many years later. Truly a traumatic period of my life, I never want to go back to that.

Yeah, that's horrible. I'm really sorry you suffered all that abuse. Kids can be so cruel, and it does stay with you.

 

[Sensei]

I was bullied at school. Thing is, this idea that if you stand up to a bully then he/she will back down because they are secretly afraid...not true. This guy was pretty tough.
After way too much of this, one day I decided to stand up to him regardless of the consequences. I was sick all day from fear leading up to it. I was just a geeky kid and he was bigger, stronger, faster and perfectly willing to hurt people.
Then at break, I talked to him as usual and was ready to stand my ground when the abuse started, fight back and suffer the violence. He was suddenly as nice as pie, with no input from me. For some unknown reason, the months of abuse had stopped on that day and he never behaved that way again. I'd done nothing to make this change happen.
It felt like the universe had stepped in.
However, to this day, I wonder if that was a good thing or not. I'd made my decision and I was prepared to stand my ground and take the inevitable consequences. But I was deprived of that opportunity.

Maybe it was because he could feel that you were more confident and ready to fight. When you didn't show fear or weakness he was no longer interested in bullying you.

Quite a few celebrities have been bullied so maybe it can be used as a kind of motivion, i.e. "I'll show the bastards!" A sample: 12 Celebrities Who Were Bullied in School.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Maybe it was because he could feel that you were more confident and ready to fight. When you didn't show fear or weakness he was no longer interested in bullying you.

I did wonder that. It was a surreal experience. I was indeed ready to fight and if I'm honest, I wanted to and was upset that I didn't get to, even though I was scared. Not sure if that even makes sense and I don't feel good admitting it either.