SufferingDev
Proof of God's Mistakes
- Aug 4, 2024
- 15
Life is going really hard and I feel like it is going to collapse soon - it is not 100% sure but if...
...I do not want to deal with this anymore, I know I will probably get over this but I do not want to - I want to have an exit plan just in case.
What I mean by exit plan is not really about the CTB method - I would probably choose the SN to do it - but I am more concerned about my SI - I am afraid to die even though I want to. Once I decide I need to take this path I need to make myself really not see any solution.
I need to loose my job, friends, money, property - I need to somehow get myself into a really bad situation without an exit - I even think of doing a crime (idk what would it be), so I could be sentenced that way I would guard down my SI and end myself. I just need to do it fast, I know one day would not be enough but waiting months for that is also not an option.
...I do not want to deal with this anymore, I know I will probably get over this but I do not want to - I want to have an exit plan just in case.
What I mean by exit plan is not really about the CTB method - I would probably choose the SN to do it - but I am more concerned about my SI - I am afraid to die even though I want to. Once I decide I need to take this path I need to make myself really not see any solution.
I need to loose my job, friends, money, property - I need to somehow get myself into a really bad situation without an exit - I even think of doing a crime (idk what would it be), so I could be sentenced that way I would guard down my SI and end myself. I just need to do it fast, I know one day would not be enough but waiting months for that is also not an option.