Discussion Bucket list

[Rachel74]

Have you a bucket list before you CTB or are you like fuck that?

Here are mine in no particular order.

Walk across Iceland (with my partner)
Visit China
Deep sea dive with seals
Get my tattoo finished.
Learn to knit
Forgive my dad (I have to do this so I can RIP)
Finally get the kitchen floor done
Best my stepdad at scrabble
Find my grandad burial plot (lost papers, no stone)

 

[WhiteDespair]

The only thing I've wanted - truly wanted - for 2 decades is death. Anything else is a passing emphemeral. It's a fun way to spend a Monday morning.

Congrats and best of luck to those who can build a bucket list and cross off the items.

 

[Rachel74]

The only thing I've wanted - truly wanted - for 2 decades is death. Anything else is a passing emphemeral. It's a fun way to spend a Monday morning.

Congrats and best of luck to those who can build a bucket list and cross off the items.

If I could kill you and get away with it I would. Sorry you are suffering.

 

[WhiteDespair]

If I could kill you and get away with it I would. Sorry you are suffering.

Thank you, @Rachel74. I appreciate your kindness and generosity. I would have taken you up on that offer September and before. I think I got my SSRI and Adderall to the level they need to be this month. Folks like you and this board are a Godsend.

I decided that I don't know whether or not life is worth living. I'm going to find out.

 

[Astral316]

I'm in no position... psychologically, financially, or socially... to put a dent in any bucket list I could possibly conjure up. I just take comfort in the fact that when I'm dead, it won't make a difference.

 

[Wayfaerer]

To lose my v-card, which if all goes well will be soon. I have not the energy for anything else.

 

[Kodama]

Dying peacefully in my sleep

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

whatever i did, i'd have to drag my carcass along with me, so ... no. just want out.

 

[Stan]

To see the Northern Lights
To see and chase a tornado
To have walked my daughter down the aisle
To party and dance all night long on a tropical island
To have taken grandchildren to Disneyworld
A real family Christmas one more time

 

[BrightDusk]

I'll not be able to complete my bucket list. My future looks... pretty bleak from here on out. Anyways, I wouldn't want to do any of it without my best friend anyway and that's pretty impossible at this point.

 

[Polka]

No. No bucket list. No joy in any of it.

 

[Neurodamaged2]

Thank you, @Rachel74. I appreciate your kindness and generosity. I would have taken you up on that offer September and before. I think I got my SSRI and Adderall to the level they need to be this month. Folks like you and this board are a Godsend.

I decided that I don't know whether or not life is worth living. I'm going to find out.

SSRI and Adderall is how I got to be suicidal in the first place. SSRI fucks up your serotonin system and adderall screws up your dopamine system. I ended up numb to everything, with PSSD, anhedonia, emotional blunting, etc. They're temporary feel-goods with long term damage.

 

[WhiteDespair]

SSRI and Adderall is how I got to be suicidal in the first place. SSRI fucks up your serotonin system and adderall screws up your dopamine system. I ended up numb to everything, with PSSD, anhedonia, emotional blunting, etc. They're temporary feel-goods with long term damage.

PSSD?

Thank you for your concern.

My serotonin and dopamine systems are screwed even before I started with Prozac and Adderall. Years of abuse and neglect turned my brain into the mush that it was/is. My brain adapted and grew accustomed to that environment and, well, dopamine and serotonin kinda weren't around.

The symptoms you described were me before I started taking these. You are correct. They're a short term fix. My hope is that I can unfuck my life enough while I'm feeling good that the good vibes transfer over to a life without psych meds.

Thank you for letting me know. I'll keep it in mind.

 

[Neurodamaged2]

I kinda had one before they perma-fried me with ECT and then drugs. Now I'm completely numb, don't feel any reward from anything and nothing means anything to me. So, even if I won the lottery, nothing would be alluring despite being achievable. I used to have a high IQ and decent memory now I'm a bump on a log so I can't even chase intellectual pursuits like reading a book or something.

I'd like to drink myself a six pack of beer though, even though I wouldn't get any dopamine or good feeling from it. Just to see what it'd be like. My parents watch me like a hawk now though so I can't even steal their alcohol let alone go buy my own.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Ha, only thing left on my bucket is to kick it!

 

[Polka]

fill the bucket with concrete and then throw it into the sea for the molluscs to colonize it

 

[Haku]

I have a very large bucket list, but I only accomplished 2 things on it, and the rest of it requires quite alot of money to do and more time, which unfortunately I have neither, but I have made peace with the fact I will not get to fully accomplish my list, especially since most things on it were going to be impossible for me to do anyway. I like your list Rachel74, I hope you are able to do at least a few of the things you have on there. Thank you for sharing.