Help Break up? Or CTB and take animals with me??

[Nurse T]

I'm having a tough time at the Mo, my home life and work life is a bit stressful and shit!! Iv been mentally unwell in the past but got back on my feet, and now I have I realise the way people treat me isn't right!!
the thing is now Iv started to question what my husband does and says to me all of a sudden he thinks I'm ill again!! Too much has happened to explain here, but there is just no going back for us!! People think when you talk about suicide that you must be mentally unwell, but is it not the fact that you are just done with people treating you like shit! And some situations are just too hard to explain or get out of??
I was going to use Benzo's and alcohol a while back, but due to some comments not all nice! But it did give me cold feet!
I'm now thinking N, or insulin. I have the knowledge and equipment to do either by Iv Drip.
my question is I have an older dog and horse who are my world, Do I take them with me so we can all Rest In Peace together? I feel so bad for them, but equally I would feel bad for leaving them behind?
Thoughts??

 

[Life_and_Death]

I don't think you should take your animals with you. That would be abuse to do something like that. You're better off bringing them to a shelter or having a friend or family member care for them.

 

[foxdie]

If you are able to find them a good place to live I don't think you should. They aren't suffering like you and I are (I hope).

 

[Ghost2211]

By the logic of bringing pets with you should I bring my kids with me?

 

[Nurse T]

I don't think you should take your animals with you. That would be abuse to do something like that. You're better off bringing them to a shelter or having a friend or family member care for them.

Ah ok I hadn't thought of it like that, that is the last thing I would want to do. I just fear what would happen to my horse, my husband wouldn't continue paying him.
No

By the logic of bringing pets with you should I bring my kids with me?

not sure that's a necessary comment!!! I'm asking advice! Also my pets are very elderly, Unlike children, and although I disagree entirely but human life is deemed far more important than that of animals.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Ah ok I hadn't thought of it like that, that is the last thing I would want to do. I just fear what would happen to my horse, my husband wouldn't continue paying him.

Is there another farm that might take them?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Unfortunately, you can't control how others respond once you put something out there. I hope you receive comments that serve you in making your decision. I remember the pills and alcohol thread, and if you weren't fully confident in the choice as you seemed to be at the time, then I'm glad you have the desire as well as the ability to go for a more reliable method.

Personally, I think that the animals rely on you and have no control over your choices about them, and they're powerless to make their own, so you have a responsibility to them. If the dog won't be abused or neglected by your husband, then allow him/her to remain there. Otherwise, perhaps a pet fostering program; if it hurts too much to surrender the dog like that, I would consider how much it would hurt the animal to have their life ended without their choice, but that's how I would view it, I'm not you. Sovereign rulers used to have animals sacrificed and servants killed to accompany them after death, they were considered less valuable. For the horse, fostering and adoption may also be available, or you can hope that the people who stable him/her will make sure s/he is rehomed, perhaps send them a delayed email with your wishes before suiciding. Again, just my perspective, I'm not emotionally involved in the outcome. Threads like this, though, usually have folks quite emotionally involved, as happens when the subject is about pets or children being impacted.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i don't think you should take your pets with you. it may hurt to leave them behind, but it would also hurt them to have their life taken away from them with no say in the matter. you should try to find a suitable, loving home for them before you consider taking them with you.

 

[Mm80]

As GPE said this is an emotive subject regards pets as im of tge opinion that many people on here love animals more than humans. Id be amazed if anyone encouraged you to take a pet with you. Having said that, the forum never ceases to amaze with new ideas.
Im sorry that you are in this awful dilemma.

 

[Ghost2211]

not sure that's a necessary comment!!! I'm asking advice! Also my pets are very elderly, Unlike children, and although I disagree entirely but human life is deemed far more important than that of animals.

I won't sugar coat this topic. Suicide should be the person and no others. Murdering others because we want to die is flat out wrong. If you can't give them to someone to care for them then stay alive for them. Saying bring them with you just adds a romantic tone to murder.

 

[Mm80]

I won't sugar coat this topic. Suicide should be the person and no others. Murdering others because we want to die is flat out wrong. If you can't give them to someone to care for them then stay alive for them. Saying bring them with you just adds a romantic tone to murder.

Its unfair that the other night you were all about being conpassionate and supportive to a distressed op, but have shown this person, who is probably more distressed, zero comoassion to the awful dilemma they are in. The op diesnt need such bluntness they are obviously in an awful headspace.

 

[Ghost2211]

Its unfair that the other night you were all about being conpassionate and supportive to a distressed op, but have shown this person, who is probably more distressed, zero comoassion to the awful dilemma they are in. The op diesnt need such bluntness they are obviously in an awful headspace.

Big difference between self harm and killing dependents.

 

[Mm80]

Big difference between self harm and killing dependents.

Im not saying its right. But for op to be even thinking like this tells me that they are in a dark place and need support and advice. Maybe some empathy.

 

[Ghost2211]

Im not saying its right. But for op to be even thinking like this tells me that they are in a dark place and need support and advice. Maybe some empathy.

I gave advice. If you can't find someone else to provide care stay alive for their well being. A lot of us stay alive solely for the sake of others. It's pretty rare you see me react that bluntly, but killing of dependents so one can suicide is a bit much.

 

[Mm80]

I gave advice. If you can't find someone else to provide care stay alive for their well being. A lot of us stay alive solely for the sake of others. It's pretty rare you see me react that bluntly, but killing of dependents so one can suicide is a bit much.

Op didnt say they were doing it just asked for advice. Im glad he or she did ask as it gives people a chance to say how bad an idea it is.
You will know that when people are low/desparate they wont be thinking straight and will come up with some bad ideas, and it doesn't sound like you have took that into account tbh.
If we were all blunt like this the op may not feel supported, ignore us and go ahead and do it anyway. That's a Lose lose imo.

 

[Ghost2211]

Op didnt say they were doing it just asked for advice. Im glad he or she did ask as it gives people a chance to say how bad an idea it is.
You will know that when people are low/desparate they wont be thinking straight and will come up with some bad ideas, and it doesn't sound like you have took that into account tbh.
If we were all blunt like this the op may not feel supported, ignore us and go ahead and do it anyway. That's a Lose lose imo.

I respect and appreciate your approach to your objection to my response. My intent was not to cause harm but rather be direct, and as such I kept it blunt instead of personal or emotional. I openly answer yes if people ask if it's selfish to suicide when we have children as well. I apologize if my response made you or op uncomfortable, but op did ask if the pets should be brought. Answering no why no seemed logical.

 

[Mm80]

I respect and appreciate your approach to your objection to my response. My intent was not to cause harm but rather be direct, and as such I kept it blunt instead of personal or emotional. I openly answer yes if people ask if it's selfish to suicide when we have children as well. I apologize if my response made you or op uncomfortable, but op did ask if the pets should be brought. Answering no why no seemed logical.

Id be appalled myself if anyone answered that it was ok. It sounds like a subject close to your heart and your only human too. No harm caused. A respectful disagreemant as to how to approach things. Lets hope op makes what we instinctively feel is the right decision regarding the animals.

 

[Cherrypea]

I'm sure it happens, some people take their children with them who also have no choice in the matter.
But you also ask about breaking up with your husband or ctb. If the split is something you can feasibly do and you think it will help then do it first, even if you tell him you want a temporary break. It may sort out your head or it may not but maybe you'll be able to see if you improve on your own x

 

[Nurse T]

I've been in an impossible situation lately and am distraught over what to do! I would in no way wish to murder or abuse my animals, they are my world and I've had them both 11 years. They rely on me and love me as much I love them initial although mayb unrational thinking I was genuinely thinking they would be happy to come with me rather than stay, my horse was abused before I got him, and I've done so much work with him and he only trusts me, and the thought of leaving him with someone else and getting passed pills to post I can't bear to contemplate. With regards to splitting with my husband sounds easy but not when he has control of everything and all our finances!! I have very little access to little money to try and get legal support! I am going to seek some advice from legal aid tomorrow.
iv been unwell and been through recovery and came out the other side, but I went back to work, and also my husband can't now relinquish the control he had over me whilst I was unwell and preventing me moving on with my life. Work has been really tough I'm in the NHS and have had a horrendous incident to deal with lately. I don't have a great relationship with my parents so my options for help are limited! I really came here for advice and support as it's lacking elsewhere!! I now realise that perhaps to think of taking them with me would be a selfish act, but at the time I was thinking it would be best for them, and was in a dilemma hence asking for advice.
Some of the comments received quite frankly have been upsetting and necessary! I do ask myself why some people belong to this forum, mayb it is to troll!!
I know the majority are genuine and like me are in need of advice and support to make impossible decisions but at the same time making sure the right conclusion is made!
I am in no way a murderer!! I understand people are entitled to their opinion but it could have been put across a bit nicer! I'm actually a really caring person, hence my dilemma I'm too nice to think fuck the world and just do it without considering others.
if that offends you the I'm sorry but that's your problem not mine!!
if people don't have anything to say that is not constructive or helpful then please just scroll on!!!!
Thank you to those who have given me constructive feedback, and have some empathy for me. X

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

I'm sorry for you for hating those ugly comments.

It was really disturbing what was written, I felt like I was in a "pro-live" forum.

To use the word "murder" in this context is simply irresponsible. It puts the OP under tremendous pressure instead of helping him, which is actually against the forum rules.

Nurse, your question is not about "life or death", it is about your responsibility towards the animals. Your responsibility for their wellbeing.

Both are quite old and have built a strong bond with you in the 11 years, they will definitely miss you and experience grief.

If you can be sure that you can put them in good hands, where they will receive the same love as you, then leave them behind.

If you can't, then you must ask yourself whether they can still lead a happy life.

If I were responsible for a person who is completely dependent on me and who cannot make a decision of his own, even who does not even know for himself what harms life, I would not leave him alone.

I don't give a shit what pro-life people or the law say about it, because I have a responsibility to him.

 

[Ghost2211]

I've been in an impossible situation lately and am distraught over what to do! I would in no way wish to murder or abuse my animals, they are my world and I've had them both 11 years. They rely on me and love me as much I love them initial although mayb unrational thinking I was genuinely thinking they would be happy to come with me rather than stay, my horse was abused before I got him, and I've done so much work with him and he only trusts me, and the thought of leaving him with someone else and getting passed pills to post I can't bear to contemplate. With regards to splitting with my husband sounds easy but not when he has control of everything and all our finances!! I have very little access to little money to try and get legal support! I am going to seek some advice from legal aid tomorrow.
iv been unwell and been through recovery and came out the other side, but I went back to work, and also my husband can't now relinquish the control he had over me whilst I was unwell and preventing me moving on with my life. Work has been really tough I'm in the NHS and have had a horrendous incident to deal with lately. I don't have a great relationship with my parents so my options for help are limited! I really came here for advice and support as it's lacking elsewhere!! I now realise that perhaps to think of taking them with me would be a selfish act, but at the time I was thinking it would be best for them, and was in a dilemma hence asking for advice.
Some of the comments received quite frankly have been upsetting and necessary! I do ask myself why some people belong to this forum, mayb it is to troll!!
I know the majority are genuine and like me are in need of advice and support to make impossible decisions but at the same time making sure the right conclusion is made!
I am in no way a murderer!! I understand people are entitled to their opinion but it could have been put across a bit nicer! I'm actually a really caring person, hence my dilemma I'm too nice to think fuck the world and just do it without considering others.
if that offends you the I'm sorry but that's your problem not mine!!
if people don't have anything to say that is not constructive or helpful then please just scroll on!!!!
Thank you to those who have given me constructive feedback, and have some empathy for me. X

I am the only one who objected bluntly, so I'll address this. I am sorry to have upset you. I can see that you didn't want to hear all types opinions. If I was trolling my wording would have been much different. If you directly ask a question you may get answers that aren't what you want to hear. I didn't say anything cruel to you. I am sorry I made you feel upset, but im not sorry about how I feel about the topic.

 

[Nurse T]

I am the only one who objected bluntly, so I'll address this. I am sorry to have upset you. I can see that you didn't want to hear all types opinions. If I was trolling my wording would have been much different. If you directly ask a question you may get answers that aren't what you want to hear. I didn't say anything cruel to you. I am sorry I made you feel upset, but im not sorry about how I feel about the topic.

I am prepared to hear people's opinions else I wouldn't of posted it as advice! And yes that is your opinion which I take on board, but calling me a murderer, and yes being bluntly harsh is hardly supportive, you could have easily got your point across in a more sensitive way! Majority of people on these forums are hurting, upset, confused and lonely! Looking for support! I don't wish to get in an argument with you, and will no longer be replying to you, and would respectfully request that you no longer post on this thread. Thank you.

 

[Mila]

I'm having a tough time at the Mo, my home life and work life is a bit stressful and shit!! Iv been mentally unwell in the past but got back on my feet, and now I have I realise the way people treat me isn't right!!
the thing is now Iv started to question what my husband does and says to me all of a sudden he thinks I'm ill again!! Too much has happened to explain here, but there is just no going back for us!! People think when you talk about suicide that you must be mentally unwell, but is it not the fact that you are just done with people treating you like shit! And some situations are just too hard to explain or get out of??
I was going to use Benzo's and alcohol a while back, but due to some comments not all nice! But it did give me cold feet!
I'm now thinking N, or insulin. I have the knowledge and equipment to do either by Iv Drip.
my question is I have an older dog and horse who are my world, Do I take them with me so we can all Rest In Peace together? I feel so bad for them, but equally I would feel bad for leaving them behind?
Thoughts??

Nurse, I understand perfectly well what you are going through regarding your pets. I have 2 old dogs and one let's say youngish, I also have 2 cats, one old and the other 5 years old who are my world too and the only living beings I have in my life. I have no one to take care of them. If I let them in a shelter they will be killed for sure. Trying to find them a home is out of the question because people do not want old pets. They are so close to me that I can't even go to the bathroom alone; they sit next to the wc. They follow me everywhere. I cannot bear the idea of leaving them behind; leave them alone knowing they would be taken to a shelter and end up dead anyways. People do not adopt old pets and they are eventually sacrificed. Many pets die of sadness too when their owner is gone or die.

I have been holding over my ctb for my pets and the method I was determined to use, since everytime I read threads and posts they are always full of BUTS and made me feel incredibly insecure. Thanks to someone from SS who helped me clear my doubts and explained everything step by step I will go for my first ctb choice. About my pets, I will take them with me for sure. I do not feel a murderer at all. The WHAT IF's have been a nightmare, so I focus on my pets' future and feelings and then I was able to make a decision.

If you know for sure your dog and your horse are going to be in good hands and they will be loved and well cared, you might not take them with you. If you are not sure, take them with you.

Do what your heart tells you to do. Follow your heart, think of them and their future without you, and with all due respect don't give a sh... what other people think.

Wow haven't written more than 2 words in SS since I joined

 

[Cherrypea]

I don't know your situation but a friend of mine thought she would never be free from her husband until she used the half hour free legal advice offered by many solicitors in the UK. They are almost divorced now.

 

[Nurse T]

Nurse, I understand perfectly well what you are going through regarding your pets. I have 2 old dogs and one let's say youngish, I also have 2 cats, one old and the other 5 years old who are my world too and the only living beings I have in my life. I have no one to take care of them. If I let them in a shelter they will be killed for sure. Trying to find them a home is out of the question because people do not want old pets. They are so close to me that I can't even go to the bathroom alone; they sit next to the wc. They follow me everywhere. I cannot bear the idea of leaving them behind; leave them alone knowing they would be taken to a shelter and end up dead anyways. People do not adopt old pets and they are eventually sacrificed. Many pets die of sadness too when their owner is gone or die.

I have been holding over my ctb for my pets and the method I was determined to use, since everytime I read threads and posts they are always full of BUTS and made me feel incredibly insecure. Thanks to someone from SS who helped me clear my doubts and explained everything step by step I will go for my first ctb choice. About my pets, I will take them with me for sure. I do not feel a murderer at all. The WHAT IF's have been a nightmare, so I focus on my pets' future and feelings and then I was able to make a decision.

If you know for sure your dog and your horse are going to be in good hands and they will be loved and well cared, you might not take them with you. If you are not sure, take them with you.

Do what your heart tells you to do. Follow your heart, think of them and their future without you, and with all due respect don't give a sh... what other people think.

Wow haven't written more than 2 words in SS since I joined

I'm sorry to hear about your situation too, but I'm glad your now at peace with your decision.
Thank you for sharing your experience I appreciate it. Take care x

I don't know your situation but a friend of mine thought she would never be free from her husband until she used the half hour free legal advice offered by many solicitors in the UK. They are almost divorced now.

How did she pay for the rest though? Thank you for sharing

 

[checkouttime]

I did insulin a full pen, i'd been up for a few days probably about 3.5g of cocaine and about 7 litres of 5% alcohol. the insulin was out of date though( i thought it might of being worse like this) and went to sleep (on purpose as its NOT recommended).

I am not diabetic, i got a little weak and wanting sugar the next day after this and that was it.

Just wanted to share my experience as i noticed the OP had mentioned insulin. I thought a small amount of insulin was highly dangerous and chance of a coma high? like 10iu??? I think i did like 300iu

 

[mapletree]

I think calling OP a murderer was uncalled for and kind of inappropriate. Don't know her situation- if she has two elderly animals with health issues and is in an area where shelters and fosters are already full, it's not unrealistic for someone to want to make sure their animals don't suffer for weeks in a pound before getting gassed anyways; obviously if there's an alternative one should do that and if her husband is capable of taking care of them well great theres your solution, but to assume that any animals left behind will be better off than those put down beforehand seems excessively emotional and judgmental.

I don't know enough about this persons situation to judge her, but in many parts of the US that are poor as shit elderly animals that are abandoned would likely be left terrified at the pound or animal control before being gassed alone and confused. I have no idea what happy world you guys are living in where this is what people zeroed in on and I say this as someone who loves animals but also has seen a bunch of horses and dogs get dumped and pretty much sent to the glue factory. No, it's not the same as kids, people put down their animals who are elderly and suffering all the time. Up to her to determine if realistically someone could care for the dog and the horse if she's not there, especially if they're fuckin old. Like the Internet moral superiority is great until someones pet ends up dying alone and confused in the county pound

This isn't even touching the possibility of someones pets being left with an actual abuser, as in someones partner who could be "owning" the animal afterwards and would transparently make their pets life hell on earth (or honestly just kill it), which real life domestic abusers can have a pattern of doing. I have no idea if this lady's husband is a psycho or not. I have no clue what planet some of you guys are on where this stuff just isn't a concern. Young healthy dog that's not a "bad" breed? Maybe a chance if you can get them to a good shelter or rescue. Horses? We have a problem with people ditching elderly horses here. They are expensive to care for and are often put down. Not sure where you guys live

 

[Cherrypea]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation too, but I'm glad your now at peace with your decision.
Thank you for sharing your experience I appreciate it. Take care x

How did she pay for the rest though? Thank you for sharing

Her husband is buying her out of the house, she's using the money for a much smaller house for her and the children and paying the divorce fees. She is entitled to more but desperate to leave so took 50/50. But it depends on your circumstances. If you have been working do you have your own money coming in, even if your husband controls it? I know it sounds simplistic and in our mindset maybe impossible to move on. I'm not sure I could face it myself. But for her it went from impossible to getting done from the first session. It's free so there's nothing to lose.

 

[Smudgedlines]

I'm having a tough time at the Mo, my home life and work life is a bit stressful and shit!! Iv been mentally unwell in the past but got back on my feet, and now I have I realise the way people treat me isn't right!!
the thing is now Iv started to question what my husband does and says to me all of a sudden he thinks I'm ill again!! Too much has happened to explain here, but there is just no going back for us!! People think when you talk about suicide that you must be mentally unwell, but is it not the fact that you are just done with people treating you like shit! And some situations are just too hard to explain or get out of??
I was going to use Benzo's and alcohol a while back, but due to some comments not all nice! But it did give me cold feet!
I'm now thinking N, or insulin. I have the knowledge and equipment to do either by Iv Drip.
my question is I have an older dog and horse who are my world, Do I take them with me so we can all Rest In Peace together? I feel so bad for them, but equally I would feel bad for leaving them behind?
Thoughts??

I'm in the uk too and I have an elderly horse. I'm afraid there are very few options for rehoming, you simply can't give them away and if you do they are possibly likely to have ten years knocked off their age and advertised for sale by some unscrupulous bastard.

I think there are things in your post you can work on. I've been through hell myself with a break up and I'm happy to chat to you If you want. I have the weight of the world in my shoulders too.. house car job kids... I pay for my horse every month £120 and it's a big financial burden with COVID. If I chose to go, orI could no longer afford it then I would make the responsible decision for her and she would be put down surrounded by her friends and people she knows. She is coming up to 21 years old now and I rescued her at 12. The charities are full and there is worse than death for some horses out there. I know. I've seen them put through markets and ended up dead anyway.