brainstorming!!!

[preoppostmortem]

Hello! I am a trans boy who lives with my parents and is mostly dependent on them as of now. I technically have a car, but no license yet (something I am working on). I am unsure if we own a gun (though I could look) or pills that could help me. No rope either, sadly. I am thoroughly convinced my mother plans to make my life a living hell in the near future, as I am her greatest disappointment, and ctb seems better than living like this anymore. Though, to be more optimistic, I've thought of some other options.

A.) Make a gofundme or something and pray people pity me. No license, no job, see? I could get one, but who knows how long it'll take to save up enough to get the hell out of here. And there's the problem of college, something my mother is very keen on. Hey, if she's paying for it, maybe…

B.) Wait it out and pretend to get "better". Not good at acting. If I keep going like this, I might run into traffic or go catatonic or whatever. Also, dysphoria. Kinda hard to hide at some point.

C.) Move in with my grandmother and my sister. My sister is basically my only supporter and my grandmother doesn't call me slurs, but she also can't keep her mouth shut. I don't even know if she'd let me. She does agree that my mother is a crazy bitch sometimes, so maybe she'd have some mercy.

All in all, future looks bleak. Ideas appreciated. Thinking of going into the woods near my house and praying I run into a bear. Maybe some redneck will shoot me. I live in a Republican state, it could happen.

I have to get out of this fucking house. One way or another.

 

[chuerdhmproton]

You sound quite young, <18?

 

[february in alaska]

Even the fact that you've even thought of other options is a good sign. I think you should pursue them, see if moving out is a possibility, make a gofundme, decide for yourself whether or not you want to go to college. You might as well try if you've got nothing to lose.