Bpd

[user127679866]

Does anyone else in here suffer from bpd?

Looking for someone to relate when you find yourself ruminating about something someone said and its all consuming. It can be the smallest thing, like an argument online and someone said something that made you feel bad. Except, it turns into pure shame and humiliation. I cant let it go. Then the compulsive thought spiral starts and wont stop for several days. The anxiety attacks make it hard to eat, sleep or do anything. Its times like this, I literally think I cant handle being alive and to any normal person it wouldn't be this serious. Why cant i just be fucking normal. I just want to shut my brain off. I just want it to stop.


Sorry, just venting. Feeling awful. This is my only safe space. Please be nice.

 

[Ash]

Yeah. There's a lot of us on here with BPD. I think most, if not all of us can relate. It's exhausting.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

Yes, same here. One small thing that someone sais to me and I'll be thinking of it day and night.

 

[zjay-0v3rit!]

Obsession of a person has completely ruined me. I cant let go, i havent even talked to them in months and i still think about them every day. Its a shame, i know they dont feel the same way and it broke me. Part of why i want to CTB so bad

 

[archiveofpain]

Yep. Just insignificant and small events end up affecting way more than they should and even if you know it shouldn't objectively, you can't just help but get really upset and unable to control it. I've had breakdowns and thoughts about CTB over even my FP's slightest change on their demeanor and while for others it seems like you are making a mountain out a molehill, to you it feels like you're falling apart and it's just very isolating and exhausting

 

[user127679866]

Yep. Just insignificant and small events end up affecting way more than they should and even if you know it shouldn't objectively, you can't just help but get really upset and unable to control it. I've had breakdowns and thoughts about CTB over even my FP's slightest change on their demeanor and while for others it seems like you are making a mountain out a molehill, to you it feels like you're falling apart and it's just very isolating and exhausting

It truly is so exhausting, isolating and draining to live this way. Mental agony everyday and no one understands.

Obsession of a person has completely ruined me. I cant let go, i havent even talked to them in months and i still think about them every day. Its a shame, i know they dont feel the same way and it broke me. Part of why i want to CTB so bad

Im so sorry, I know that feeling.