Venting BPD

[Emu]

long story short, I got diagnosed with BPD nearly 2 years ago! I've now been treated. I met somebody who i liked and she liked me, but I let it get the better of me and got over friendly to quick bam she was like you are to intense I can't do this.. I just got excited at the prospect of something good after a bleak time! she didn't know I have this only told her about the depression!
But even tho I've been treated it still throws me off balance at times and now I ruined something..because of this BPD!
I wish I could be upfront and be like yes I have this and yes it can make me have a wobbly or difficulties.
But I can't and it makes me feel like I'm going to die alone and that in turn just makes me want to die!

 

[glitterypearls]

our disorder is hard to deal with not only for us but other people too. I have to admit that. would I be okay and unbothered by dealing with someone like me? nope. It's work, patience and a lot of love. someone gotta love you a lot to deal with this disorder because we have our moments when we are too much. gotta hold yourself accountable and make sure you do best by them. this is our responsibility. I believe we should also tell people we have this disorder. sometime you meet people who were traumatized by someone who have BPD (people who refuse to seek treatment or hold themselves accountable so they end up hurting people nonstop)

our disorder is hard and even if you are in treatment like me, it's long-life battle. it can't be cured but you can learn to live with it to where your symptoms would be very very light.I'm sorry you are going through this. we won't die alone. there is a lot of examples of people who have BPD and live a good life. takes a lot of work though

 

[Emu]

our disorder is hard to deal with not only for us but other people too. I have to admit that. would I be okay and unbothered by dealing with someone like me? nope. It's work, patience and a lot of love. someone gotta love you a lot to deal with this disorder because we have our moments when we are too much. gotta hold yourself accountable and make sure you do best by them. this is our responsibility. I believe we should also tell people we have this disorder. sometime you meet people who were traumatized by someone who have BPD (people who refuse to seek treatment or hold themselves accountable so they end up hurting people nonstop)

our disorder is hard and even if you are in treatment like me, it's long-life battle. it can't be cured but you can learn to live with it to where your symptoms would be very very light.I'm sorry you are going through this. we won't die alone. there is a lot of examples of people who have BPD and live a good life. takes a lot of work though

Very well said. Yes part of me wishes I told her because she might of understood a bit more of where I was coming from, but the moments gone now.
I guess it's also that sense of the BPD getting the better of me this time, it was just literately excitement then over friendly to quick!
Yeah I'm just so angry at myself that I didn't rein it in or just say about this BPD!
Could've been a potential different outcome!
Yeah before treatment I was totally unaware of unhealthy coping mechanisms and the hurt I could cause, now I do and now I feel it.
Sometimes it seems more of a struggle as I'm aware but sometimes you can't help going OTT but coming from a place of being nice and trying to support.
But yes like you said we don't have to die alone we can lead good lives.
Thank you for your reply it actually means a lot as you also have this Disorder and actually get it.