Help BPD NEW RELATIONSHIP!

[dxstressed]

I haven't posted in a while, the past few months have been relatively stable for me. However, I am in the early stages of a relationship with someone new. Suddenly, my BPD has flared up like I didn't know it could. I am having anxiety attacks, I am worried he is going to leave me for someone new, that he isn't actually interested, that he is speaking to other individuals and I am so paranoid and jealous of anyone that is around him. I only feel secure when I am with him. However, for the first time in the 2.5 years since my diagnosis, I know this is not normal and this is not how it should be. It doesn't make it any easier but I'm wondering if anyone has any techniques/ways they have overcome these issues?

I don't want to lose him because of my mental illness. Any help would be appreciated.

Dxstressed
xoxo

Context - gay relationship, two men.

 

[Dot]

Recognise that when thoughts come in they are from wounded child self and it wants reassurance.

Recognise that each thought that comes into head is fear. Deep breath - "hi fear". Is like self parenting. Buying into fears makes them worse, as does fighting them.

Youtube mindfulness body scan and try to do to ground self sometimes. Staying in body helps take away from thoughts.

If no therapist, crisis lines will talk through feelings if need to process them. Not need suicidal thoughts to call them.

Maybe talk to partner if poss. Understand not want be too intense but if mention little insecurity maybe can reassure. Depends on situation.

 

[willshe777]

are you comfortable with sharing these thoughts and feelings with him? I'm diagnosed too and my ex husband was avoidant, I hardly knew him our entire lives together. The bf I had after that was bipolar so that was a complete disaster. I'm newly seeing someone too and although I'm not comfortable disclosing my diagnosis (or symptoms better yet) to him I have been able to give him tidbits during conversations about my overthinking, anxiety and jealousy issues on a very surface level (I'm not trying to scare him away lol) and he's been really easy to talk to about it. That alone gave me a huge sense of relief and reassurance, of course bpd symptoms are erratic and explosive I've had about 3 episodes since we met a month ago but I've used self soothing techniques my therapist has taught me and it's been so helpful, I got to stop myself during the episodes instead of lashing out at him. A lot of it is accepting and validating your emotions on the spot then using something like ice packs on your face or if you can dunking your entire face in a bowl of ice water, humming or rocking yourself, a physical distraction to bring yourself down safely instead of raging or self-harm then once your physical sensations subside think about the situation coming from a place of nonjudgment and I PROMISE you the logical reasoning will flow to you…ie "maybe he's driving that's why he's not replying", "maybe that was a typo, there's no intentional tone to that text" etc etc it's hard but if you're in a great spot, self awareness is a HUGE step towards the right direction.