porfin1234
Arcanist
- Dec 26, 2019
- 476
Hello
I was wondering if anyone else out there had the BPD diagnosis and experienced difficulties with stable sense of self / values and acting with integrity.
Funny talking about identity issues when I've come to realize I tend to self obsess (people point out I talk about myself too much.. I have to force myself to shut up and listen or I over share ) yet I feel like I have no stable sense of who I am. One moment I see myself / feel myself empathizing with others, having a heart, yet can also be incredibly cold mean and selfish. Go from "emo goth teen" to "free loving hippie" although I've been stuck mostly in the former since recent events. It's funny because in HS I despised labels and now as an adult I am constantly trying to hold on to some sense of who I am and compare myself to others or try to be like other people.
I've even been called a chameleon especially when it comes to men I'm involved with. It's like I turn into them and I don't do it for approval at least not consciously. Some would call it manipulation. It's honestly not... It sucks ass losing yourself in others.
Anyway... anyone else have similar issues ?
I was wondering if anyone else out there had the BPD diagnosis and experienced difficulties with stable sense of self / values and acting with integrity.
Funny talking about identity issues when I've come to realize I tend to self obsess (people point out I talk about myself too much.. I have to force myself to shut up and listen or I over share ) yet I feel like I have no stable sense of who I am. One moment I see myself / feel myself empathizing with others, having a heart, yet can also be incredibly cold mean and selfish. Go from "emo goth teen" to "free loving hippie" although I've been stuck mostly in the former since recent events. It's funny because in HS I despised labels and now as an adult I am constantly trying to hold on to some sense of who I am and compare myself to others or try to be like other people.
I've even been called a chameleon especially when it comes to men I'm involved with. It's like I turn into them and I don't do it for approval at least not consciously. Some would call it manipulation. It's honestly not... It sucks ass losing yourself in others.
Anyway... anyone else have similar issues ?
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